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The seven rules of poker

TalonTalon Member Posts: 1,621
edited August 2013 in Poker Chat
Otherwise known as the seven reasons why you are the best player in the world.

Rule 1) Limping
 When you do it you are disguising the strength of your hand
 When they do it they are a fish who doesnt know how to play the game

Rule 2) Calling a raise out of position with a weak hand.
 When you do it it is because you are confident of outplaying them down the streets
 When they do it they are just hoping to get lucky

Rule 3) Making a bad river call
 When you do it it is because there is history between you and the opponent
 When they do it it shows how bad they are and will keep paying you off

Rule 4) Calling a bet with nothing more than a gutshot
 When you do it you are floating
 When they do it they are a chasing fish

Rule 5) The donk lead
 When you do it you are trying to induce and/or confuse your opponent
 When they do it they are a donk

Rule 6) The suck out
 When you do it it is because you made the correct play with odds/ implied odds in your favour
 When they do it it is because they are an idiot who just keeps getting lucky

Rule 7) The tourny knock out
 When you knock them out it is inevitable due to your far superior abilities and reads
 When they knock you out it is just pure luck and will probably never happen again because they arent good enough

 

Comments

  • Tikay10Tikay10 Member, Administrator, Moderator Posts: 172,929
    edited August 2013

    Brilliant!

    I saw a lad, who has his head permenantly stuck up a dark orifice, write this recently.....

    "....Were it not for all those bad players out there, making bad calls & getting lucky, us good players could win a lot more....."
  • SmitalosSmitalos Member Posts: 543
    edited August 2013
    I
    Love
    This
    Thread
     
    <3

    and OP.
  • MAXALLYMAXALLY Member Posts: 17,640
    edited August 2013




    *LIKE*
  • HITMAN_RVHITMAN_RV Member Posts: 8,688
    edited August 2013
    *LOVE*
  • liamboi11liamboi11 Member Posts: 2,141
    edited August 2013
    brilliant
  • ajmiltonajmilton Member Posts: 1,458
    edited August 2013

                Quality PMSL

  • 4EVERGREEN4EVERGREEN Member Posts: 244
    edited August 2013
    Spot on! There are an awful lot of players who think exactly like that.
  • hawk7112hawk7112 Member Posts: 3,627
    edited August 2013
    In Response to (L):
    I Love This Thread   <3 and OP.
    Posted by Smitalos

    +1 


  • CraigSG1CraigSG1 Member Posts: 1,832
    edited August 2013
    BEST THREAD EVER. BAR NONE. PERIOD!
  • TalonTalon Member Posts: 1,621
    edited August 2013
     Thanks guys. Thought i would post something a little light hearted but with shades of truth to it. Nice to have such a great response
  • JockBMWJockBMW Member Posts: 2,653
    edited August 2013
    Fantastic ,   Made my day ;o)
  • FlyingDaggFlyingDagg Member Posts: 4,146
    edited August 2013
    In Response to The seven rules of poker:
    Otherwise known as the seven reasons why you are the best player in the world. Rule 1) Limping  When you do it you are disguising the strength of your hand  When they do it they are a fish who doesnt know how to play the game Rule 2) Calling a raise out of position with a weak hand.  When you do it it is because you are confident of outplaying them down the streets  When they do it they are just hoping to get lucky Rule 3) Making a bad river call  When you do it it is because there is history between you and the opponent  When they do it it shows how bad they are and will keep paying you off Rule 4) Calling a bet with nothing more than a gutshot  When you do it you are floating  When they do it they are a chasing fish Rule 5) The donk lead  When you do it you are trying to induce and/or confuse your opponent  When they do it they are a donk Rule 6) The suck out  When you do it it is because you made the correct play with odds/ implied odds in your favour  When they do it it is because they are an idiot who just keeps getting lucky Rule 7) The tourny knock out  When you knock them out it is inevitable due to your far superior abilities and reads  When they knock you out it is just pure luck and will probably never happen again because they arent good enough  
    Posted by Talon
    Post of the week. Game over.
  • GELDYGELDY Member Posts: 5,203
    edited August 2013
    Now I know why my results have been improving recently. Them rules are the biz.
  • calcalfoldcalcalfold Member Posts: 978
    edited August 2013
    Funny and true.
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