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Position available

jdsallstarjdsallstar Member Posts: 1,675
edited March 2015 in Brags, Beats and Variance
Wanted 1 witch on permanent contract:

Requirements for the position:

1. Must be able to undo complete inability to win any hand
2. Must be able to undo complete inability to win any head prizes
3. Must be able to stop amazing ability of finding opponent with AA or KK
4. Must be able to create a spell that means that the magic 2 outer river will not pop up for my opponent
5. Must ensure that I hit the occasional best hand
6. Must ensure that when i do have said good hand that it is just not folded instantly by all other opponents
7. Must somehow stop me from tilting
8. Make races winable again even if only occassionally
9. Can return the ability to hit my draws again
10. Further to point 9 they must stop my opponents from hitting every single draw against me
11. Ensure that every time I have KK an ace does not need to hit the flop

Experience requirements:

1. Qualified in witchcraft with at least 3 years post qualification experience in a similar role
2. Previous experience working with tilted people
3. Applicants who have worked with Matt Bates or TommyD will be particularly welcome
4. Ability to create voodoo dolls that can be used on any opponent who outdraw me 
4. Big green nose with giant pus filled spots preferable but not essential
5. Big black hat essential

Starting salary
1. My soul
2. Company broom
3. Complimentary nachos

We value our people and our committed to the principle of equal treatment for all applicants for employment irrespective of age, gender, race, sexual orientation, disability, religion or political opinion.

Starts immediately


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Comments

  • waller02waller02 Member Posts: 9,071
    edited March 2015
    Hahaha love it!

    At least you've kept your sense of humour. If you find a witch, pm me her number mate.
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  • xtortion8xtortion8 Member Posts: 77
    edited March 2015
    so your not looking for a cleaner as such, just someone who extracts the ........




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  • paige55paige55 Member Posts: 2,953
    edited March 2015

    jdsallstar paige55 here Think I am the Witch you are looking for,A charmed one me :):):):):) XXX I CAN CAST AS MANY SPELLS AS YOU WISH,BUT I MUST ASK PIPER AND PHOEBE IF I CAN GO IT ALONE REGARDS paige xxx

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  • Nuggy962Nuggy962 Member Posts: 1,104
    edited March 2015
    Haha I recommend Christ moormans book mate.  I took a break as was playing far too much so dropped down to twice a week and spent rest learning. Amazing how many gaps it plugged. Ok so no luck on the bad run but at least every time I got sucked out on I had the value town chips I earned previous to keep me fighting. Even sneaked a cheeky cash from being down to 4BB when 200 left with 73 paid.

    Great post :)
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  • hhyftrftdrhhyftrftdr Member Posts: 8,036
    edited March 2015
    In Response to Re: Position available:
    Haha I recommend Christ moormans book mate.  I took a break as was playing far too much so dropped down to twice a week and spent rest learning. Amazing how many gaps it plugged. Ok so no luck on the bad run but at least every time I got sucked out on I had the value town chips I earned previous to keep me fighting. Even sneaked a cheeky cash from being down to 4BB when 200 left with 73 paid. Great post :)
    Posted by Nuggy962
    I knew he was good.

    But Jesus?!
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  • Nuggy962Nuggy962 Member Posts: 1,104
    edited March 2015
    In Response to Re: Position available:
    In Response to Re: Position available : I knew he was good. But Jesus?!
    Posted by hhyftrftdr
    Haha...... I will never learn, always read through before posting! Maybe he really is that gifted ;)
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  • jdsallstarjdsallstar Member Posts: 1,675
    edited March 2015
    In Response to Re: Position available:
    In Response to Re: Position available : I knew he was good. But Jesus?!
    Posted by hhyftrftdr
    I think i need him now anyway lol
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  • jdsallstarjdsallstar Member Posts: 1,675
    edited March 2015
    Nope he cant help either this is brutal!!!
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