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IS ONLINE POKER RIGGED ? A "Daily Flop" exclusive by Tab Lloyd
TheEdge949
Member Posts: 5,741
in Poker Chat
After years of rumours circulating amongst losing online poker players that the game is rigged in favour of certain players this fearless investigative reporter has journeyed into the heart of darkness to reveal the truth. It appears that the site in question has been accused of manipulating the RNG to predetermine the outcome of turn and river cards to deliberately cause bad beats.
Deciding to go straight to the top for answers I requested an interview with Pokers very head man Mr Ben Toner only to be informed that any such line of questioning be referred to the companies legal team as at that time Mr Toner was unavailable and out of the country on business. Although this reporter has it on good authority that he was in fact negotiating to purchase every garden rake in the country in an apparent attempt to copy a successful Canadian business model.
So i then approached the respected law firm of Robb, Swindels and Crooks to ask for assurances that the company was regulated and that all the software was tested and approved . I was allowed to see all the relevant documentation and have to admit that to my untrained eye it all seemed above board although Im not fluent in Central American Spanish and therefore It could have meant anything.
But then i got the amazing break that this story needed. As I was taking coffee accross the street from Robb, Swindels and Crook the waitress sidled up and informed me that her brothers wifes sisters uncles dogwalker had access to the RNG and would I be interested in seeing it first hand?. Ten minutes later I was stood in front of Ernie. Yes Ernie Pickersone was seated in front of a phallanx of screens and randomly selecting cards which then appeared in front of players in the online game. Shocked at this I immediately protested that it was wrong, immoral, unsustainable and certainly illegal.
However my fears were groundless as Ernie has assistants who share the 24/7 load including Arnie his twin brother meaning that none of the EU timeworking directives or Health and safety protocols were being breached. Therefore not wrong or immoral and certainly sustainable and legal. "So", I asked "is the game rigged?"
"Oh absolutely" they confessed " We do all sorts down here".
They then went on to give me examples such as If a player has cashed out for a large amount then theres a doom button which automatically prevents him from winning until hes lost at least twice the amount he cashed out for.
Theres the forum hunt where they troll the forum for players who berate the site for a really bad run and then ensure that that player continues to suffer beat after beat until they find another victim to torture.
And then theres the list of favourites. Yes a database of players who absolutely cannot lose no matter how poor their starting hands are. Although there is a way onto this by way of D.E.A.N.B.O. (deposit enough and nothing bad occurs). And there own personal favourite which is to give a bad player a crazy run of cards to build up a stack and then one outer them and induce a serious tilt session.
Well there you have it folks, it seems that the naysayers and the conspiracy theorists are right. So ill leave you with one last question. Do you feel lucky? Well do ya ?
Until next time this has been Tab Lloyd for the Daily Flop.
P.S. Still dont understand why a poker site owner would want with rake after rake after rake.
Yours in boredom
Mark
Deciding to go straight to the top for answers I requested an interview with Pokers very head man Mr Ben Toner only to be informed that any such line of questioning be referred to the companies legal team as at that time Mr Toner was unavailable and out of the country on business. Although this reporter has it on good authority that he was in fact negotiating to purchase every garden rake in the country in an apparent attempt to copy a successful Canadian business model.
So i then approached the respected law firm of Robb, Swindels and Crooks to ask for assurances that the company was regulated and that all the software was tested and approved . I was allowed to see all the relevant documentation and have to admit that to my untrained eye it all seemed above board although Im not fluent in Central American Spanish and therefore It could have meant anything.
But then i got the amazing break that this story needed. As I was taking coffee accross the street from Robb, Swindels and Crook the waitress sidled up and informed me that her brothers wifes sisters uncles dogwalker had access to the RNG and would I be interested in seeing it first hand?. Ten minutes later I was stood in front of Ernie. Yes Ernie Pickersone was seated in front of a phallanx of screens and randomly selecting cards which then appeared in front of players in the online game. Shocked at this I immediately protested that it was wrong, immoral, unsustainable and certainly illegal.
However my fears were groundless as Ernie has assistants who share the 24/7 load including Arnie his twin brother meaning that none of the EU timeworking directives or Health and safety protocols were being breached. Therefore not wrong or immoral and certainly sustainable and legal. "So", I asked "is the game rigged?"
"Oh absolutely" they confessed " We do all sorts down here".
They then went on to give me examples such as If a player has cashed out for a large amount then theres a doom button which automatically prevents him from winning until hes lost at least twice the amount he cashed out for.
Theres the forum hunt where they troll the forum for players who berate the site for a really bad run and then ensure that that player continues to suffer beat after beat until they find another victim to torture.
And then theres the list of favourites. Yes a database of players who absolutely cannot lose no matter how poor their starting hands are. Although there is a way onto this by way of D.E.A.N.B.O. (deposit enough and nothing bad occurs). And there own personal favourite which is to give a bad player a crazy run of cards to build up a stack and then one outer them and induce a serious tilt session.
Well there you have it folks, it seems that the naysayers and the conspiracy theorists are right. So ill leave you with one last question. Do you feel lucky? Well do ya ?
Until next time this has been Tab Lloyd for the Daily Flop.
P.S. Still dont understand why a poker site owner would want with rake after rake after rake.
Yours in boredom
Mark
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