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SPT Highlights.
Manchester.
Unfortunately having been unable to cause any arguments at all at the weekend, although I do have an ongoing dispute with Jurys Inn, the highlight of my weekend, was when the fella in front of me in the queue for the toaster at breakfast on Sunday, turned to me and grinned, before dropping a couple of pain au chocolat into the toaster.
I knew from experience that this was wrong, and his smirk was short lived, and panic set in, as the offending pastries burst into flame.
He immediately started swearing under his breath, while blowing into the toaster in an attempt to extinguish the flames, he was jumping on the spot, in addition to adjusting the toaster controls in an upward and downward direction.
He then switched the toaster off at the mains, before running off to find a member of staff to assist him.
None of his actions quenched the flames.
Lucky I gave my hair a trim before the trip, otherwise I would have been at risk of a bit of singeing.
He returned to the toaster a couple of minutes later, with a waitress in tow for assistance, no longer grinning, and with perfect timing to witness his cremated pastries thudding to the bottom of the toaster.
To be fair he had learnt his lesson, and declined the opportunity to toast any more suitable items, before sloping off with his tail between his legs.
I just cracked on with toasting my crumpets, and resumed eating my breakfast, although under the painful handicap of splitting sides.
Smoked crumpets was a first for me.
Never trust Scousers near electrical appliances.
Unfortunately having been unable to cause any arguments at all at the weekend, although I do have an ongoing dispute with Jurys Inn, the highlight of my weekend, was when the fella in front of me in the queue for the toaster at breakfast on Sunday, turned to me and grinned, before dropping a couple of pain au chocolat into the toaster.
I knew from experience that this was wrong, and his smirk was short lived, and panic set in, as the offending pastries burst into flame.
He immediately started swearing under his breath, while blowing into the toaster in an attempt to extinguish the flames, he was jumping on the spot, in addition to adjusting the toaster controls in an upward and downward direction.
He then switched the toaster off at the mains, before running off to find a member of staff to assist him.
None of his actions quenched the flames.
Lucky I gave my hair a trim before the trip, otherwise I would have been at risk of a bit of singeing.
He returned to the toaster a couple of minutes later, with a waitress in tow for assistance, no longer grinning, and with perfect timing to witness his cremated pastries thudding to the bottom of the toaster.
To be fair he had learnt his lesson, and declined the opportunity to toast any more suitable items, before sloping off with his tail between his legs.
I just cracked on with toasting my crumpets, and resumed eating my breakfast, although under the painful handicap of splitting sides.
Smoked crumpets was a first for me.
Never trust Scousers near electrical appliances.
Comments
A big well done to those that made the final table in such a tough tourney.
I was pleased to make the money.
I couldnt win a flip on either day, and a bit of luck is required to get a result against vastly superior players.
It was great to meet some new faces that I didnt know, even though some are responsible for battering me on a daily basis.
It was also tremendous to catch up with some old faces, that I hadnt seen for a few years, even though I dont escape a battering from some of these either.
Talking about old faces, although I appreciate the old codgers tireless efforts at these events, an earlier posting of the Alea photo, may have assisted me in turning up at the correct place, avoiding the ignominy of showing up at DTD, and sparing me the cost of an extra cab.
This, a fact that I shared with the old codger in complete confidence, and was therefore extremely surprised to be confronted by what seemed like half the entrants who opened the conversation by saying "Ha ha you went to Dusk Till Dawn"
It also appears the old codger has learnt to photoshop, and didnt tire of posting my photo in empty spaces as some sort of proof of his outrageous allegations regarding the number of friends I have.
As an oldie, although not as old as the old codger, I found the whole thing pretty tiring, and proper poker players have my admiration for being able to go through it, day after day.
An incident occurred as I left the casino.
I asked the front desk to book me a cab to take me back to the hotel, and followed their directions to the door, where the taxi would arrive.
Soon after I got there a taxi arrived.
The driver approached a man who was smoking on the street corner on the opposite side of the road.
The man indicated that he wasnt waiting for a cab.
I therefore approached the driver with a view to establishing whether or not it was my cab.
He stated that he was here to pick up Abdul.
My immediate reply was "Thats me"
He responded by slowly looking me up and down, before silently driving away.
He pulled into the Crowne Plaza entrance opposite, where he picked up the correct Abdul.
I detected an almost imperceptible nod in respect, and appreciation of my audacity as he drove away, complete with the none the wiser, Abdul happily chatting away in the front passenger seat.
I wonder where Abdul was going, I hope it was just around the corner, and a very short trip.
Tikay has previously alluded to my argumentative nature that I have never acknowledged.
I must admit that I did have a row with a uniformed bloke at Newport Station, the receptionist at the hotel, and a South African bloke on the train coming back.
Having given this some thought it appears I was wrong on all three occasions.
This is something I could not have admitted to them.
After arriving at the correct platform for my connection at Newport Station, I consulted the timetable which directed me to platform 1.
My journey to this platform caused me to miss the connection.
On returning to the correct platform, I felt it my duty to severely berate the bloke in the office.
He gleefully pointed out that the number 1 on the timetable, was referring to the fact that first class was available on that particular train, rather than the platform it was due to leave from.
Although this did not curtail my criticism of the timetables.
I have a reputation to protect.
When I went to sleep on Friday night my laptop was working perfectly.
When I woke up on Saturday morning, the screen professed all manner of disaster, like damage to the hard disk, etc, etc, and was completely dead.
This prompted a row with the hotel.
Who else could be to blame?
They were having none of it.
Luckily it is still under warranty and is currently back at Currys.
While sitting quietly, minding my own business, on the train coming back, a South African fella pointed out that I shouldnt have been vaping on the train.
I was guilty, but only in an unobtrusive way, I wasnt extravagantly blowing clouds of vapour everywhere, he was a couple of rows away, and in reality not at all affected.
I therefore resented his comments.
He threatened to grass me up to the conductor.
He was a slippery character, and appeared to be attempting to gain photographic evidence with his phone.
He failed, didnt grass me up, ang got off at Birmingham, without causing any further problems.
He might have completely changed my views on immigration, and Brexit, had he continued with his nonsense.
I think I may need to practice going out a bit more.
For those that missed it, this is the "Billy No Mates" photo the old fella referred to. I took the photo, but I have no idea who gave him that name.
I know exactly how Harry and Megan feel about the press.
The biggest question on this one, is that how could I possibly be still smiling, despite the extremely biased reporting.