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A little something for my Mum. Its long, sorry,
Last night I was chatting to my Mum, 86 years old.
One of the pensioners ordered to self isolate when all this began.
Amongst other things she told me she hadnt had a drop of Alcohol since February.
She had a plan on getting some.
When the neighbours next offered to go get her some supplies, she would ask them to get her a bottle of whisky.
Not for a while though , she was stocked up with food stuffs. She would wait until she needed food and would include whisky in the shopping list.
After the call, I google the best world whisky in the world and Lidls have it for £14.99. *(1)
This morining im off to Lidls.
Im versatile.
I can go into situations and adapt as I go, with limited resources.
I came away from home with scissors, packing tape, a red marker pen , an A4 sheet of blank paper a and packing foam *(2) and an old cardboard box that PC came in that I never threw away.
So, i'm sat in the car with my bottle of whisky outside the Post Office.
I re-fashion the old cardboard box it into a newer whisky transporting vessel.
On completion, It actually looked like a Hansel and Gretel badly cobbled shoe.
I take it into the post office to see if they had a bigger box that I could stuff my contraption into.
The Postmaster chap shook his head, he suggested Lidls might have an old cardboard box I could use.
Then I saw a massive Jiffy bag that it would fit in and pointed to it.
He understood and let me take it back to my car without paying.
I stuffed my cardboard box into the jiffy bag and taped it all together tightly again
Upon completion, It still looked like another Brothers Grimm contraption, but i had had enough.
I queued at the previously empty Post Office with what looked like a dead rat in a parcel under my arm and an A4 sheet of paper with my Mums address in red marker pen.
I can see the Lady behind the counter looking at my "improved" packet, so I picked up another jiffy bag and threw everything in it.
'That's two I've had'
"Ah, your the chap from earlier, wheres the parcel going?'
' Manchester, Its for my Mum'
"Yes, but what's the address?"
I hold up the A4 paper with the Address on it.
"That really needs to be on the parcel ,sir"
'Sorry, I thought you would be printing it off, I wrote this out so you could see the address'
"No, we dont print addresses, people normally put them on their parcels"
.
She kindly offers to cellotape it on for me.
She weighs it tells me how much .
"whats the value?"
This caught me out. I'm not quick with my maths.
I start adding £15, plus 2 jiffy bags £3 thats £18, plus postage thats £24 .plus- how do you put a price on a treat for your Mum?
The good lady decided to help me
"Whats in it?"
"Whats in it?"
"Yes, whats in it?"
Its a small post office and the queue is wondering whats in it too.
I start to worry that your not allowed to send whisky through the mail, its alcohol, flammable ?
I once sent a bottle of Gin to my sister when she lived in Exeter and I hid it inside a Wellington boot and when asked, I just said Wellington boots.
'Chocolates, its a birthday present for my Mum'
"Chocolates , are you sure?"
Yes.
Well, its its something that shouldn't be in there, the Post office might confiscate it, it doesnt feel like chocolates, it feels liquid.
"Okay, its Whiskey"
I look at the queue and start telling them its whiskey for my Mum.
And how shes a pensioner and needs a drink , so I thought I would surprise her .
Totally exhausted me that did.
*(1) Best whisky in the world
*(2) Packing foam
One of the pensioners ordered to self isolate when all this began.
Amongst other things she told me she hadnt had a drop of Alcohol since February.
She had a plan on getting some.
When the neighbours next offered to go get her some supplies, she would ask them to get her a bottle of whisky.
Not for a while though , she was stocked up with food stuffs. She would wait until she needed food and would include whisky in the shopping list.
After the call, I google the best world whisky in the world and Lidls have it for £14.99. *(1)
This morining im off to Lidls.
Im versatile.
I can go into situations and adapt as I go, with limited resources.
I came away from home with scissors, packing tape, a red marker pen , an A4 sheet of blank paper a and packing foam *(2) and an old cardboard box that PC came in that I never threw away.
So, i'm sat in the car with my bottle of whisky outside the Post Office.
I re-fashion the old cardboard box it into a newer whisky transporting vessel.
On completion, It actually looked like a Hansel and Gretel badly cobbled shoe.
I take it into the post office to see if they had a bigger box that I could stuff my contraption into.
The Postmaster chap shook his head, he suggested Lidls might have an old cardboard box I could use.
Then I saw a massive Jiffy bag that it would fit in and pointed to it.
He understood and let me take it back to my car without paying.
I stuffed my cardboard box into the jiffy bag and taped it all together tightly again
Upon completion, It still looked like another Brothers Grimm contraption, but i had had enough.
I queued at the previously empty Post Office with what looked like a dead rat in a parcel under my arm and an A4 sheet of paper with my Mums address in red marker pen.
I can see the Lady behind the counter looking at my "improved" packet, so I picked up another jiffy bag and threw everything in it.
'That's two I've had'
"Ah, your the chap from earlier, wheres the parcel going?'
' Manchester, Its for my Mum'
"Yes, but what's the address?"
I hold up the A4 paper with the Address on it.
"That really needs to be on the parcel ,sir"
'Sorry, I thought you would be printing it off, I wrote this out so you could see the address'
"No, we dont print addresses, people normally put them on their parcels"
.
She kindly offers to cellotape it on for me.
She weighs it tells me how much .
"whats the value?"
This caught me out. I'm not quick with my maths.
I start adding £15, plus 2 jiffy bags £3 thats £18, plus postage thats £24 .plus- how do you put a price on a treat for your Mum?
The good lady decided to help me
"Whats in it?"
"Whats in it?"
"Yes, whats in it?"
Its a small post office and the queue is wondering whats in it too.
I start to worry that your not allowed to send whisky through the mail, its alcohol, flammable ?
I once sent a bottle of Gin to my sister when she lived in Exeter and I hid it inside a Wellington boot and when asked, I just said Wellington boots.
'Chocolates, its a birthday present for my Mum'
"Chocolates , are you sure?"
Yes.
Well, its its something that shouldn't be in there, the Post office might confiscate it, it doesnt feel like chocolates, it feels liquid.
"Okay, its Whiskey"
I look at the queue and start telling them its whiskey for my Mum.
And how shes a pensioner and needs a drink , so I thought I would surprise her .
Totally exhausted me that did.
*(1) Best whisky in the world
*(2) Packing foam
Comments
Ha, great story, beautifully told.
Looks like they do on their site.
I’ve never used them btw.
I bought a bottle of poteen from Ireland a year or so ago no problem
Also well done to your mum for bearing a child whilst in her 60’s.
Have you tried the Whisky then? Is it good stuff?
Ill let you know @waller02
Her words were.
A good read! Very thoughtful!
Regards to your mum x
The bloke in front of me asking at the counter.
" What's the best antihistamine I can buy over the counter for my wife?"
' what's it for sir?'
"Her eyes are streaming, we think it's hay fever"
' is she in any pain sir?'
" No, none at all, it's just very sore'"
I wish I was making it up.
They thought it was hay fever, but maybe it wasn’t.
The strongest ones come by prescription,but like most things, can have side effects.
Then there’s the customers medication that they might be taking, that needs to be taken into account.
Far simpler to do some online research before you go into the store, if they thought it was hay fever.
I get them from home bargains 79p a box a lot cheaper than piriton which is like 4 quid for a weeks worth where as you get 14 in the cheaper ones
Here's the thing though I never get prickly heat or any kind dermatology rashes and for a bloke that's over 50 I have the body of a 20 year old 😎
One a day it's a wonder drug I've had no side effects