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When A Question Is Not The One You Thought It Was.
I was sat there quietly, minding my own business yesterday morning.
Its an early start on Sunday, as the Major sats start at 10am.
I was watching Sky News.
They seemed to be struggling as Sophie Ridge was not doing the Sophie Ridge Show, in addition to Kay Burley not doing the Kay Burley Show.
It may be fortunate for Sky that Beth Rigby doesnt have a show.
In the middle of all this, Mrs Hayes came bursting in shouting "Where The F..k Is Pennard"
She had just put the phone down, after a call from her best friend.
My wife doesnt have particularly good knowledge of local geography.
I think this is because she spent her early life in Port Talbot, and she has never driven.
Now the way she stressed Pennard, would have led an uneducated observer to conclude that Pennard was somewhere near Kuala Lumpur.
I have quite an in depth knowledge of Pennard, as in my younger days I used to work for a fella called Leonard from Pennard, and often visited his house.
Weird that, if he wasnt from Pennard, everybody would have just called him Len.
I have no idea whether Leonard still lives in Pennard, or is even still alive.
I used to occasionally see his daughter in the pub, but not for ages.
To prove my point everyone just called her Mandy.
Back to the story.
My wifes best friend Betty, who is a fairly fit 83 year old widow that doesnt drive had just been told she had to go to Pennard for a blood test.
Trying to be helpful I looked up the journey from Bettys house to Pennard, on Google Maps.
This showed that it was either 4.7, or 6.1 miles depending on which route you took.
Hardly Kuala Lumpur.
Google Maps even includes a bus timetable these days.
When I tried to show this to Mrs Hayes, she refused to look, and it did nothing to placate her outrage.
However, me offering to run Betty over to Pennard did.
So the real question was not "Where the F..k is Pennard", it was "Can you run Betty over to Pennard".
Peace and harmony now exists in the Hayes household.
Although who knows for how long.
Its an early start on Sunday, as the Major sats start at 10am.
I was watching Sky News.
They seemed to be struggling as Sophie Ridge was not doing the Sophie Ridge Show, in addition to Kay Burley not doing the Kay Burley Show.
It may be fortunate for Sky that Beth Rigby doesnt have a show.
In the middle of all this, Mrs Hayes came bursting in shouting "Where The F..k Is Pennard"
She had just put the phone down, after a call from her best friend.
My wife doesnt have particularly good knowledge of local geography.
I think this is because she spent her early life in Port Talbot, and she has never driven.
Now the way she stressed Pennard, would have led an uneducated observer to conclude that Pennard was somewhere near Kuala Lumpur.
I have quite an in depth knowledge of Pennard, as in my younger days I used to work for a fella called Leonard from Pennard, and often visited his house.
Weird that, if he wasnt from Pennard, everybody would have just called him Len.
I have no idea whether Leonard still lives in Pennard, or is even still alive.
I used to occasionally see his daughter in the pub, but not for ages.
To prove my point everyone just called her Mandy.
Back to the story.
My wifes best friend Betty, who is a fairly fit 83 year old widow that doesnt drive had just been told she had to go to Pennard for a blood test.
Trying to be helpful I looked up the journey from Bettys house to Pennard, on Google Maps.
This showed that it was either 4.7, or 6.1 miles depending on which route you took.
Hardly Kuala Lumpur.
Google Maps even includes a bus timetable these days.
When I tried to show this to Mrs Hayes, she refused to look, and it did nothing to placate her outrage.
However, me offering to run Betty over to Pennard did.
So the real question was not "Where the F..k is Pennard", it was "Can you run Betty over to Pennard".
Peace and harmony now exists in the Hayes household.
Although who knows for how long.
Comments
Whoa, hold up.
There is a Mrs Haysie?
Oh my word. She deserves a Knighthood or Dameness.
"Why don't you go on that nice Forum dear..."
To be fair, my wife sometimes prays for deafness...
She phoned this morning to make an appointment in Pennard for the aforementioned blood test.
There was good news and bad news.
The bad news was that they didnt have any appointments available for this year.
Good news is that had one available at Amazon tomorrow.
Having learnt my lesson, I dispensed with Google Maps, and immediately volunteered to run her over there.
I dont need to be told anything twice.
Just when you thought you were safe from surprises he makes me like him a little bit more. Bah! Humbug.
They were living in Mumbles rather than Pennard.
Phil was a butcher for many years, but by this time he had become a tiler.
However it was far too soon for any change in his nickname.
We are very big on nicknames in Wales.
In fact I read an article many years ago, which claimed that Wales was the world leader in nicknames.
The article gave examples of nicknames, and an explanation of how they were attained.
One stuck in my mind.
It was a guy from up the valleys, who worked for British Gas.
He was in charge of a team.
His nickname referred to the numerous times on a daily basis that he implored his team to "Dont Let Me Down Boys, Dont Let Me Down"
They christened him "Dai Balloon".
Despite the fact that it is my 21st anniversary today.
I still find myself having to remind Mrs Hayes fairly regularly regarding the love honour and obey bit of our wedding.
She made it abundantly clear in bed last night, when shying away from my cold feet, that she wouldnt accept that the warming up of any cold feet was part of the deal.
This is obviously a contractual dispute, and legal advice will be required.
Maybe just the threat of legal action will result in some sort of accommodation.
Only time will tell.
Many congrats to Mrs Haysie on 21 years as your wife. She must be some special woman.
Please don't think I'm being rude, but is she hearing-impaired? If she's not, I bet she wished she was.