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Diary of a Conspiracy theorist aged 37 going on 9
TheEdge949
Member Posts: 5,713
in The Rail
Woke up this morning and went to look at the crop circles in case the aliens had left a message but had to go the long way round as there's a cell mast in farmer Barleymows top field and I don't want those 5G signals infecting me with a virus, not that there is a virus at all.
Saw a plane overhead spraying mind control substances from under the wings, I wonder where the exhaust vapours go from those very powerful engines in fact I'll ask Frank the barman at the Virus and Vaccine next time I call in for a half. Oh darn just remembered I'm barred for refusing to wear a mask or social distance. Really thought the police over reacted still it's all part of the conspiracy aint it.
Got to the field to find Barleymow had harvested the crop. Obviously part of the plan to cover up the existence of alien life forms, well it doesn't fool me I know they exist cause I saw their craft high in the sky. A big bright yellowish orb of immense power, well it was certainly warming everything up in the local area.
Decided to go to the local library, what a waste of time that was, row after row of history, science, economics, and politics and none of it in fiction where it should be. Yet the Famous Five, Secret Seven and Adventurous Four are all in fiction instead of the true life section, s0d this I'm off to the Skull and Truncheon for a pint.
Glad I went because whilst there I found an abandoned copy of The Light Paper. Did you know that Biden stole the election by locking up 60 million Republican voters for 3 weeks with the aid of a mixed Chinese Russian involvement and that the only real victims of Covid19 are the members of the public who haven't contracted it but are being forced to exist in a certain way to protect others.
Also the vaccines are used to implant tiny micro chips into your body so the government can track you 24/7 and the whole pandemic was artificially created to provide a profit opportunity for the large pharmaceutical companies. Not that there is a pandemic, no, lets be clear, I meant the impression of a pandemic. Can't be a pandemic cos there's no virus.
What else did I discover today and this is fact. Well the Police will arrest you if they think you've been bad, check it out dudes like people have actually been taken into custody TODAY. Apparently you can't shout right wing theory stuff at random passers by even though we all know it's a Zionist plot to take control.
The Moon landings were faked honestly guys it never happened I got that from a mates, mothers, friends, postman and he knows his stuff yeah. People who argue the fact that the Russians would have continued their efforts to land on the moon had the USA faked it just don't understand. They believed America, after all why wouldn't they, they were in cahoots.
Also the Twin Towers was all done by the CIA to give America the excuse to go back to war with Iraq, the space shuttle was blown up twice to stop the crew from revealing contacts with alien species and black people are deliberately provoking police officers into killing them in order to further the black agenda.
Seriously why are you all finding this a little difficult to believe. Trust me it's all true every word. Right I'm off to travel to the edge of the world, it must be flat I saw it in Pirates of the Caribbean.
The Conspiracy Theorist 58 that's my IQ not my age
Actually guys I could write on in this vein for hours but this was just a way of venting and let's be honest it's no more stupid than some of the utter effluent posted.
Saw a plane overhead spraying mind control substances from under the wings, I wonder where the exhaust vapours go from those very powerful engines in fact I'll ask Frank the barman at the Virus and Vaccine next time I call in for a half. Oh darn just remembered I'm barred for refusing to wear a mask or social distance. Really thought the police over reacted still it's all part of the conspiracy aint it.
Got to the field to find Barleymow had harvested the crop. Obviously part of the plan to cover up the existence of alien life forms, well it doesn't fool me I know they exist cause I saw their craft high in the sky. A big bright yellowish orb of immense power, well it was certainly warming everything up in the local area.
Decided to go to the local library, what a waste of time that was, row after row of history, science, economics, and politics and none of it in fiction where it should be. Yet the Famous Five, Secret Seven and Adventurous Four are all in fiction instead of the true life section, s0d this I'm off to the Skull and Truncheon for a pint.
Glad I went because whilst there I found an abandoned copy of The Light Paper. Did you know that Biden stole the election by locking up 60 million Republican voters for 3 weeks with the aid of a mixed Chinese Russian involvement and that the only real victims of Covid19 are the members of the public who haven't contracted it but are being forced to exist in a certain way to protect others.
Also the vaccines are used to implant tiny micro chips into your body so the government can track you 24/7 and the whole pandemic was artificially created to provide a profit opportunity for the large pharmaceutical companies. Not that there is a pandemic, no, lets be clear, I meant the impression of a pandemic. Can't be a pandemic cos there's no virus.
What else did I discover today and this is fact. Well the Police will arrest you if they think you've been bad, check it out dudes like people have actually been taken into custody TODAY. Apparently you can't shout right wing theory stuff at random passers by even though we all know it's a Zionist plot to take control.
The Moon landings were faked honestly guys it never happened I got that from a mates, mothers, friends, postman and he knows his stuff yeah. People who argue the fact that the Russians would have continued their efforts to land on the moon had the USA faked it just don't understand. They believed America, after all why wouldn't they, they were in cahoots.
Also the Twin Towers was all done by the CIA to give America the excuse to go back to war with Iraq, the space shuttle was blown up twice to stop the crew from revealing contacts with alien species and black people are deliberately provoking police officers into killing them in order to further the black agenda.
Seriously why are you all finding this a little difficult to believe. Trust me it's all true every word. Right I'm off to travel to the edge of the world, it must be flat I saw it in Pirates of the Caribbean.
The Conspiracy Theorist 58 that's my IQ not my age
Actually guys I could write on in this vein for hours but this was just a way of venting and let's be honest it's no more stupid than some of the utter effluent posted.
Comments
Oh you forgot Epstein didn't kill himself.
Ever since his death, there have been numerous sightings of him all over the world and some fantastic conspiracy theories. Here are some of the better ones we can find:
1) Elvis went into The Witness Protection Programme, due to his links to the mafia and the suspicion that he might have been a mole, Elvis’s death was faked and he was ghosted away to live somewhere else in the US.
2) Elvis faked his own death and lives quietly in Bermuda.
3) Again, faked his own death and moved to a quiet suburb of Chicago. He works as an extra in tv and film, most famously he (might) be seen in Home Alone.
4) Elvis was an alien and just went home, conspiracy theorists say that small bits of information like that are let out in movies. The first Men in Black stated the Elvis alien theory in a throw away line “Elvis isn’t dead, he just went home.”
In Independence Day, one line is “Oh God I hope they bring back Elvis”
5) Maybe he really did pass away and the conspiracies were started to keep his memory alive and by people who could accept he had died.
I don't mean to sound obvious. But if you were 1 of the most famous and popular people in the World?
It's possible you night want to fake your own death.
But who is going to choose dying in a mysterious sh1tting accident!
By the way I'm not an Elvis super fan still in mourning, it's just posts that came up on my Facebook page.
1. He was the 2nd born of identical twins. His elder twin, Jesse Garin Presley was either stillborn or died that same day
2. Sure most people have heard the phrase "Elvis has left the building" without realising why that was said. He never played an encore in his life, and it was to get the crowd to leave