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Sorry guys I've been too busy...

somniatissomniatis Member Posts: 219
Sorry guys. I should have been honest and let you know that I haven't been reading videos or watching posts posted on the forums, on and off for about a month now. I am unable to write without my speech-to-text software and it's been crashing every time I try to run it.

Not only that but both of my NHS hearing aids started playing up not long after a 5G mast was installed near my home. I'm sure it's the 5G microwave beam-forming radiation emanating from the mast because wifi also interferes with my NHS hearing aids so I never use wifi (same sort of frequency). My NHS hearing aids have been screeching and squelching ever since the mast went live and speech is barely recognisable above the noise, so even though my speech-to-text was working a bit, my recent posts would have been a tad garbled. Apologies if some of my recent posts seemed like utter nonsense, I'll edit them later. However not to worry there is a workaround to this problem.

If I go into my bathroom and lie down inside my bath tub( made of cast iron) and duck my head down below the rim of the bath the NHS aids will work quite satisfactorily. This workaround would be fine but as I said I can't use wifi either because that interferes with the NHS hearing aids. I did plug in a long LAN cable but my partner told me it was too dangerous cos you shouldn't mix water and electricity, right? Obviously there's no water in the bath at the time of posting but both of the taps drip a steady stream of water and I need to keep my head at the tap end of the bath to avoid getting any interference, so that's too dangerous and inconvenient just for the sake of posting or answering a few repetitive questions on the forum.

You'll be glad to hear that I do have a spare pair of hearing aids, those are my expensive ones but I only use them for weddings, funerals and audiologist appointments. Going to funerals hasn't been a thing for a while now and my audiologist is still busy vaccinating people, so after I married my current partner I stashed my expensive aids away and forgot where they were. For the best part of a month I've been looking everywhere! They cost me a grand! It's been very frustrating, and especially so because I've not been able to partake, comment or answer numerous questions asked by habitual Sky forum posters either, which must have been equally frustrating for forum-based amateur inquisitors too. Sorry about that.

A week or so ago though, Tristram, my partner, found them inside a piece of wedding cake box. We'd saved a piece of cake as a memento of our wedding day and also to represent the unbridled passion we will always have for one another. When I bought my 1K hearing aids I made sure they were guaranteed 5G/wifi proof and they work fine but they do get a bit hot in close proximity to a 5G microwave emitter mast and I do get a few blisters inside my ears but for the sake of convenience and vanity I can live with the prospect of contracting a minor bit of ear cancer, can't we all, eh?

Everything was fine and I was all set to answer some of the many questions I'd been asked on the forum but alas, a couple of days ago Tristram and I had major argument about the effectiveness of the C19 vaccines. He said they didn't work at all and was adamant Dr William Gates was trying to cull the population while enriching himself, I strongly disagreed with him and said the vaccines did work because people were dying of adverse affects and they were ruining peoples' immune systems and it was just plain wrong to say Dr Gates was only enriching himself because he was also helping to enrich many global corporations. Tristram went into a rage( he's the moody type), hid my expensive hearing aids, stormed out of the house and went back to his mother's house. So, just as I was about to comment on all the superb Sky forum posts I'd thoroughly missed out on reading and replying to, I was unfortunately scuppered once again. What bad luck, eh?

So today I was feeling very lonely and around teatime I went for a walk to the local park. I stopped next to the park's public toilets and switched on my NHS aids to see if I was far enough away from 5G and wifi for them to work. Lo and behold they did work and better than ever! They were working so well for a moment I thought they were picking up a radio station! I could clearly hear a voice or two but couldn't see anyone near me. The voice was saying "Hey see? It fits!" and it was coming from inside the toilets then I definitely heard someone say "Take a Key". I think that was just the Parkie talking to his mate as they left the public toilets and locked the up for the night. So glad my NHSers were working so well!

Soon after I returned home the police called and asked me if I'd seen anything suspicious the night before last. Apparently some local hooligans had been seen near the 5G mast with paint-ball guns and had allegedly plastered the nearby 5G focused-beam-microwave-radiation-transmitter mast with 5G Shielding Paint! Kids today, eh? What will they think of next.

I couldn't help the police with their enquiries but I decided to test my NHSers in case the microwave-radiation-focused-beam transmissions had been reduced by the paint-ball attack. My NHSers were working perfectly and all thanks to those pesky kids and their paint-ball antics! There's a wee bit of noise if I sit too close to the window but they work fine otherwise, and my ears don't cook while wearing them either. Maybe the NHS hearing aids are just too cheap to adequately cook my inner ear canal? I dunno.

So, here I am guys back posting in the forums. Hopefully I'll be able to answer all of your genuine, important and life-changing questions. Oh, Tristram came back this evening and wow! He was really chomping on the bit just like I'm sure you guys are, need I say more...

Comments

  • hhyftrftdrhhyftrftdr Member Posts: 8,036
  • MISTY4MEMISTY4ME Member Posts: 6,320
    Make sure no ones videoing you when you Punch and kick Tristram :o
  • TheEdge949TheEdge949 Member Posts: 5,686
    You may find a tin foil hat will help block those pesky 5G waves.
  • stokefcstokefc Member Posts: 7,830
    Nhs hearing aids are rubbish, I had one fitted about 2 months ago when they tested it in Scrivens i told them it wasn't working they said well there's nothing we can do unless i spend thousands of pounds on decent ones so i left
    I walked into the house said to the missus what do you think? she was over the moon thinking that i wouldn't be able to ignore her, i don't do this purposely with all the back ground noise :)
    I told her it's not making any difference and that they were wankk sat and fiddled with it for an hour before chucking them in the bin
  • CammykazeCammykaze Member Posts: 1,397
    edited February 2022
    Not sold on the 5G masts being a part of causing coronavirus just yet. I did see some Graffiti in Glasgow on the Clyde about it though.

    It's interesting in a way, from memory Huawei were going to bring in the 5G technology to the UK, was all systems go and then they were replaced :)
  • CammykazeCammykaze Member Posts: 1,397
    edited February 2022
    https://www.politics.co.uk/reference/5g-masts/

    2. Health Worries

    What are the Stated Concerns?
    Ever since the first introduction of 3G masts in the early 2000s, concerns have been raised around their possible threats to human health. Concerns typically lie with the radiofrequency (RF) radiation emitted from telephone masts which, some argue, hold the potential to damage human DNA, cause oxidative damage, and disrupt cell metabolism.

    In 2011, the WHO furthered concerns in this area by defining radiofrequency radiation as “possibly carcinogenic to humans”

    Campaigners express concern that with radio frequency radiation, the higher the frequency, the higher the associated risk. Given that 5G uses frequencies of up to 18 times that of 4G, it is suggested that the potential health hazard would logically be higher.
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