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would this be bad parenting?

DoublemeDoubleme Member Posts: 2,149
in The Rail
So recently I was in the local coop and I cant remember whether it was an Ice-cream or a chocolate bar but a little girl I am guessing between the ages of 4 and 8 wanted this item that her mother was buying her. She demanded it now and the mum said I have got to pay for it first. So this little girl threw a tantrum stomped her feet and started crying and yelled but I wanted it now. The mother just tried to appease her and be like please I have to pay for it first.

I have said if this was my daughter I would have put the item back and be like right your not getting it now maybe next time you will learn to behave. I have mentioned this to people and the overwhelming consensus is that, what I would do would be terrible parenting some people even saying abusive and that the right thing to do would be what the mother did.

Just seems like the right way to raise a spoiled brat. What am I missing here?
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Comments

  • MAXALLYMAXALLY Member Posts: 17,619
    What am I missing here?

    A Child.
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  • stokefcstokefc Member Posts: 7,830
    edited September 2022

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  • stokefcstokefc Member Posts: 7,830
    Seriously , being a parent it starts right at the begining at least when a child understands
    A child has to learn the meaning of no and a stern no from a very early age if a parent starts losing control at an early age it becomes problematic in the future
    I never smacked my kids not like my dad did to me but my kids knew when i said no they knew i meant it , they have grown up to be wonderful adults and i am so proud of both of them
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  • goldongoldon Member Posts: 9,061
    Do you want one now ( here it is ) or ( two later ) Mm!!!
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  • EnutEnut Member Posts: 3,521
    @Doubleme I would say your read of the situation was pretty spot on.
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  • TheEdge949TheEdge949 Member Posts: 5,686
    I have seen first hand both extremes of punishment. There were and probably still are parents who use smacking as a first resort. To my mind this is wrong and things such as time outs, naughty step, and withdrawal of tv, computer, games systems etc often get the message home.

    When all else has failed I believe that a short slap to the back of the hand or the leg is justified. NOTE that I said a slap, multiple smacks or a good hiding are abuse and assault.

    I have also seen the result of parents who show no discipline towards their kids because it'd just easier to give in. The result is a child who grows up believing that they have the right to get their own way, are answerable to nobody and are untouchable. You see them everyday laughing at society and authority, and having no respect for anything.

    In the example given by the OP I would have put the confectionary back and explained to my child that actions have consequences and to think about that on the way home.
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  • EssexphilEssexphil Member Posts: 8,780
    Reminds me of my Wife when the kids were small. I might have spent many years arguing for a living, but arguing with my wife never ended well.

    In our local Morrisons, think the kids were 5 and 4. Normally well-behaved, but not that day. Can see my wife is going to explode.

    Next thing-she is holding both kids up in the air, 1 in each hand, bellowing:-

    "Buy 1, get 1 free" :)
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  • goldongoldon Member Posts: 9,061
    The Traveler's kids take the sweets off the shelves eat them and walk out if the security guard grabs them they scream he's a pedophile touching us up, he soon lets them go..
    So bad parenting or clever survival skills for the kids.!
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  • TheEdge949TheEdge949 Member Posts: 5,686
    goldon said:

    The Traveler's kids take the sweets off the shelves eat them and walk out if the security guard grabs them they scream he's a pedophile touching us up, he soon lets them go..
    So bad parenting or clever survival skills for the kids.!

    I refer the Gentleman to my previous answer.
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  • goldongoldon Member Posts: 9,061
    TheEdge949 said:

    goldon said:

    The Traveler's kids take the sweets off the shelves eat them and walk out if the security guard grabs them they scream he's a pedophile touching us up, he soon lets them go..
    So bad parenting or clever survival skills for the kids.!

    I refer the Gentleman to my previous answer.
    Can't be talking to me..... "Taxi"
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