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Doctor, I've got a bomb in my bum:

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Comments

  • VespaPXVespaPX Member Posts: 12,403
    What was the lube?

    *asking for a friend* o:)
  • stokefcstokefc Member Posts: 7,830
    Frog spawn :o
  • HAYSIEHAYSIE Member Posts: 35,862
    If there was any lube involved it is likely that he would have been able to remove it himself, without involving the bomb squad, or troubling his local hospital for a painful incision.
  • goldongoldon Member Posts: 9,058
    Arsenal fan
  • HAYSIEHAYSIE Member Posts: 35,862
    edited December 2022
  • HAYSIEHAYSIE Member Posts: 35,862
    edited December 2022
    Though the 88-year-old assured staff the shell was a collector’s item that had been deactivated, staff at the Sainte Musse Hospital in Toulon scrambled to evacuate some of its patients, redirect others, and call in the bomb squad.

    “An apple, a mango, or even shaving foam…we’re used to finding unusual objects inserted where they shouldn’t be,” an unnamed ER staffer told the local paper Nice-Matin, which broke the story.

    “But a shell? Never.”

    The man’s appearance at the hospital required a major reshuffling and partial evacuation of patients, most notably the paediatric unit, to the main hall. For a few hours on that Saturday evening, new patients were also redirected to other hospitals.

    As an added precautionary measure, a make-shift tent was also set up outside the hospital to treat the octogenarian in isolation.

    Once the bomb technicians confirmed that the shell was indeed inactive and ruled out the possibility of an explosion, doctors proceeded with the removal of the war relic. But as told to the Nice-Matin, “it rarely comes out from where it comes in”.

    To extract the shell, which measured around six centimetres in diameter and 20 centimetres in length, doctors had to perform abdominal surgery and remove it from the other end.

    https://uk.yahoo.com/news/hospital-evacuated-80-old-man-173252507.html
  • EnutEnut Member Posts: 3,520
    edited December 2022
    'To extract the shell, which measured around six centimetres in diameter and 20 centimetres in length, doctors had to perform abdominal surgery and remove it from the other end.'

    Jesus wept. Hopefully he's learnt his lesson and will henceforth stick to smaller calibres, or those with a rifling, which I presume would enable the inserted armament to be screwed in and out more easily.
  • HAYSIEHAYSIE Member Posts: 35,862
    edited December 2022
    Enut said:

    'To extract the shell, which measured around six centimetres in diameter and 20 centimetres in length, doctors had to perform abdominal surgery and remove it from the other end.'

    Jesus wept. Hopefully he's learnt his lesson and will henceforth stick to smaller calibres, or those with a rifling, which I presume would enable the inserted armament to be screwed in and out more easily.

    “An apple, a mango, or even shaving foam...............
  • goldongoldon Member Posts: 9,058
    Mm! fascinating the amount of knowledge some have on this subject. cough!
  • VespaPXVespaPX Member Posts: 12,403
    "permanent cure for nervousness"


  • goldongoldon Member Posts: 9,058
    Doctor Young's instruments look well used ....... butt

    I'm trying to get stuff out of there never mind shoving stuff back in.
  • HENDRIK62HENDRIK62 Member Posts: 3,202
    VespaPX said:

    "permanent cure for nervousness"


    Thank Christ my doctor never saw those, as an asthmatic i would have been in trouble.....
  • EnutEnut Member Posts: 3,520
    All this as a result of a poor old perverted bloke trying to enjoy himself, I bet his wife went ballistic when she found out.
  • goldongoldon Member Posts: 9,058
    Some OAPs want " More Bang for his Buck " .
  • HAYSIEHAYSIE Member Posts: 35,862
    goldon said:

    Some OAPs want " More Bang for his Buck " .

    You seem particularly keen on this thread.
  • goldongoldon Member Posts: 9,058
    HAYSIE said:

    goldon said:

    Some OAPs want " More Bang for his Buck " .

    You seem particularly keen on this thread.
    I love a bit of ...... inurendo. think thats how spel it
  • EssexphilEssexphil Member Posts: 8,780
    goldon said:

    HAYSIE said:

    goldon said:

    Some OAPs want " More Bang for his Buck " .

    You seem particularly keen on this thread.
    I love a bit of ...... inurendo. think thats how spel it
    Think of an Italian suppository, and you have it.

    Innuendo :)
  • goldongoldon Member Posts: 9,058
    It's a private affair between him and a ananamic object ... no animals involved.
  • tai-gartai-gar Member Posts: 2,688
    Was his name Ivor as in Ivor Soreass.
  • goldongoldon Member Posts: 9,058
    He needed to call Dyno Rod ... double the excitement .
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