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That Eureka moment

tomgooduntomgoodun Member Posts: 3,754
Note * Please forgive the language used in the day.

Before Columbus “Discovered “ America, the ancient Greeks holidayed there, especially when they were struggling with certain problems.
One family visited a tribe of indigenous Indians, and were delighted to be invited to a local choosing of a bride.
Back in the day, the potential bride would bring gifts to try to garner favour with the male.

The First Lady was very pretty and offered a skin of a buffalo.
The Second Lady was beautiful and also offered a skin of a buffalo.
The third lady was a tad plain and came with a skin of a Hippo.

The male had no hesitation in choosing the 3rd lady .

The Greek was astonished and asked the chief “ How come he chose the plain lady with what seems a terrible gift”

The chief put his arm round him and said “ It’s obvious my child, we all know The squaw on the hide of the hippopotamus is equal to the sum of the squaws on the other twos hides”


Comments

  • Tikay10Tikay10 Member, Administrator, Moderator Posts: 168,789

    Oh dear...
  • HAYSIEHAYSIE Member Posts: 35,543
    Ouch.
  • HAYSIEHAYSIE Member Posts: 35,543
    Reading that took up a minute of my life that I will never be able to get back.
  • HAYSIEHAYSIE Member Posts: 35,543
    An Englishman, Irishman, and a Scotsman, used to holiday in the same place.
    Although sometime later, by which time the Indians had turned into cannibals.
    They captured all three of the above, and tied them up.
    The chief gave them a visit.
    He informed them of their fate, and granted them a last wish.
    He told them that they intended to boil them alive, skin them, and eat them.
    They intended to stretch their skins in order to make boats out of them.
    The Englishmans last wish was to take advantage of a beautiful young member of the tribe.
    The Scotsman obviously opted for a bottle of Scotch, to dull the pain.
    The Irishman chose a fork.
    The chief took him aside to enquire as to why he had chosen a fork.
    The Irishman declined to explain, and insisted on getting a fork.
    The chief obliged.
    The Irishman then proceeded to stick the fork in himself, all over his body, while shouting, "no f...k.rs going to make a boat out of me.
  • Tikay10Tikay10 Member, Administrator, Moderator Posts: 168,789
    edited October 2023



    FFS @tomgoodun now look what you've started, he'll go on for weeks now.
  • HAYSIEHAYSIE Member Posts: 35,543
    Tikay10 said:




    FFS @tomgoodun now look what you've started, he'll go on for weeks now.

    Fortunately, I dont know that many bad jokes.
  • Tikay10Tikay10 Member, Administrator, Moderator Posts: 168,789
    HAYSIE said:

    Tikay10 said:




    FFS @tomgoodun now look what you've started, he'll go on for weeks now.

    Fortunately, I dont know that many bad jokes.
    We shall agree to disagree on that.
  • HAYSIEHAYSIE Member Posts: 35,543
    Tikay10 said:

    HAYSIE said:

    Tikay10 said:




    FFS @tomgoodun now look what you've started, he'll go on for weeks now.

    Fortunately, I dont know that many bad jokes.
    We shall agree to disagree on that.
    Ok.
  • goldongoldon Member Posts: 8,986
    Can I help you out....

    Three men survive when their boat hits rocks off a tropical Island.
    They are capture by native tribes men and taken to their Chief.
    They explain they're botanists on expedition to find new plants.

    The Chief tells them they must die.
    They plead for Mercy
    The Chief is in a good mood, if they can find a fruit on the Island he has never eaten before they can go free.
    They agree and all three set off round the Island in search of undiscovered fruit.

    After few hours the first botanist returns with peanuts he dug up.
    The Chief said, we grow them all the time you will die.
    The second botanist returns with red grapes as the Island was full of green grapes.
    The Chief said, pointing to fruit bowl with red grapes, you have fallen in the trap you will die.

    Day goes bye no sign of third botanist so Chief decides to kill the first two.
    They plead mercy so for the his amusement he decides to have some fun with them.

    As you are Botanists and not found me a Fruit that I have not tasted before you can shove you miserable offerings up your a$$es .
    Complete the Task you both can go free.
    They think it's funny and start laughing.
    It's not funny scorns the chief laugh again and you will die.

    They both proceed with the Task but half way they both burst out laughing.
    The Chief is furious and about to cut off their heads when he asks.
    Why did you both laugh.....



    We saw our mate coming with a bunch of
    coconuts.


  • Tikay10Tikay10 Member, Administrator, Moderator Posts: 168,789

    Sigh. You have a lot to answer for @tomgoodun
  • stokefcstokefc Member Posts: 7,811
    edited October 2023
    An English ,Irish and American sitting atop a tall building , the American says to the other two " i bet i can jump and not hit the ground" Irishman says not a chance , gravity will do it's work , so the American says i'll prove it
    Off he jumps , hurtling to the ground when all of a sudden he floats back to the top
    The Irishman says "wow , how did you do that " the American says "easy really , when you jump you get so far down then you hit a updraft which brings you back up"
    Without hesitation the Irishman jumps sadly htting the ground in a bl00dy demise
    Looking over at the bl00dy mess below the English man says to the America
    That's c**nts trick Superman
  • HAYSIEHAYSIE Member Posts: 35,543
    Englishman, Scotsman, and Irishman, out on the town.
    They go for a slap up meal.
    Five courses in a very expensive restaurant, and numerous bottles of champers.
    When the waiter came with the bill, the Scotsman said I will pay.
    Headlines in the following mornings paper,
    Irish ventriloquist found stabbed to death in alley.
  • Tikay10Tikay10 Member, Administrator, Moderator Posts: 168,789
    HAYSIE said:

    Englishman, Scotsman, and Irishman, out on the town.
    They go for a slap up meal.
    Five courses in a very expensive restaurant, and numerous bottles of champers.
    When the waiter came with the bill, the Scotsman said I will pay.
    Headlines in the following mornings paper,
    Irish ventriloquist found stabbed to death in alley.

    @HAYSIE






    "Fortunately, I dont know that many bad jokes."


    Seems you know a few.
  • HAYSIEHAYSIE Member Posts: 35,543
    Tikay10 said:

    HAYSIE said:

    Englishman, Scotsman, and Irishman, out on the town.
    They go for a slap up meal.
    Five courses in a very expensive restaurant, and numerous bottles of champers.
    When the waiter came with the bill, the Scotsman said I will pay.
    Headlines in the following mornings paper,
    Irish ventriloquist found stabbed to death in alley.

    @HAYSIE






    "Fortunately, I dont know that many bad jokes."


    Seems you know a few.
    Ok you got me.
  • TheEdge949TheEdge949 Member Posts: 5,649
    A thrill seeker jumps off a cliff with several chickens in his arms whilst his mate follows suit blasting away at several parrots. The third one also leapt off with even more avian accompaniment.

    The local paper reported that 3 men had died in what appeared to be a triple hen gliding, free fall parrot shooting and budgie jumping tragedy.
  • Spike4000Spike4000 Member Posts: 280
    3 men die and go to heaven.

    At the Pearly Gates they're greeted by Saint Peter

    Saint Peter says "I will let you into heaven if you can show me a spirit of Christmas"

    The first man pulls out a leaf from his pocket and says "this represents the Christmas tree"

    He is allowed into heaven

    The second man pulls out his keys "these represent bells"

    He is allowed into heaven

    The third man pulls out a pair of women's underwear

    Saint Peter: good lord what do those represent?!

    The third man says "oh well these..these are Carols..."
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