Best Judge Judy ever?

Tikay10

https://twitter.com/PicturesFoIder/status/1749689145998381209

kapowblamz

There goes an honest man!

goldon

He... didn't need enough rope

Enut

He would probably be found not guilty on a technicality in the UK.

goldon

Essexphil ;

Would get him off with Technicality by saying, " He was Walking & talking in his Sleep "

Doubleme

Enut said:

He would probably be found not guilty on a technicality in the UK.

Ok so assuming thats true who's to blame for that because I am annoyed with right wing still getting away with blaming everything on Labour.

Tories have been in charge for 13 years if we have a soft touch justice system it is the fault of the Tories now not Labour.

Enut

How did you know there was no earpiece in the bag?
The dude who stole the bag told me.
So, you didn't steal the bag?
No, maam.


Not guilty.

Essexphil

Rank stupidity is not confined to members of the Public.

A particularly dim Magistrate in Essex is reported to have said to a prolific burglar:-

"There is clearly doubt in this case. But I'm not going to give you the benefit of it."

Cue world's shortest Appeal Hearing...

Essexphil

Last story, promise. Apologies if I've told this one before.

To set the scene, there was a Magistrate who believed he was God, and got on everyone's nerves. Let's call him "Judge X". A Defendant who was homeless, had a problematic relationship with alcohol, and had been in that Court before. And a world-weary Policeman.

PC: "I gave the Defendant the usual Caution, and he gave the usual reply, signifying he understood"

X: Exactly what Caution did you give, and what was the reply"

PC: "Allow me to promise you, it was all standard. I have been a Policeman for 20 years. I am sure the Defendant does not dispute this"

X: "This is my Court. I am in charge here. I demand you immediately refer to the notebook you have with you, or I will regard your behaviour as a contempt of Court"

PC: (Wearily, referring to notebook) "I cautioned the Defendant that he was being arrested for Drunk & Disorderly, and anything he said could be used in evidence. The Defendant replied-"Oh, no. I will be up before that cnut Judge X again!"

Tikay10

lol, excellent.


Love these legal tales.

Essexphil

OK then. 1 last one.

To set the scene. 1980s. Different times (so apologies for the language). Afro-Caribbean armed gang robbing village post offices. Tip-off, so Armed Police behind the counter in the day in question. Little old lady knocked down at the start is giving evidence.

And Prosecutor breaks the golden rule-never, ever ask a question where you don't already know the answer.

Prosecutor:-"Did you see the policeman give a Caution in relation to Armed Police."
Old lady:-"No, I had been knocked over. But I heard it-and I can repeat it word for word"
Prosecutor:-"What did he say"
Old lady:-"Drop the f...ing shooter, pubehead, or I'll blow your f...ing brains out"

Judge:-Irregular, certainly, but I think we'll count that as a Caution"

Tikay10

stokefc

Brilliant Phil