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POKER / DIVORCE / WASH & POLISH KITCHEN FLOOR?

IRISHROVERIRISHROVER Member Posts: 7,606
edited May 2010 in Poker Chat
 

 HERES THE SCENARIO,

 MY SON IS MAKING HIS HOLY COMMUNION TOMMOROW WHATTTTSSSS THATTTTTTT 

YOU ASK  ?

 

 ITS A MONTY PYTHON THING US PRETENTIOUS CATHOLICS DO 

 THE KID GETS TO EAT A THING CALLED THE BREAD OF CHRIST ,

 WELL CHRIST DIDN'T MAKE IT ,MOST PROBALY 10 CHINA MEN IN A SWEAT FACTORY

 MADE IT .

 MOVING ON THE GOD  DA MN HOUSE HAS TO BE IN TOP ORDER SOOOOOOOO

 THE SHELF HAS BEEN PUT UP,

 GRASS CUT ,

 PAINTING DONE .

 I AM BEAT FROM WORK .

 NOW IRISHRAVER IS A MODERN DAY WOMAN SHE GOES OFF TO GET

 THE HAIR DONE AND TAN WHATTTTTTTT YEP TANNNNNNNNN !

 THIS TAN THINGY SPRAY THINGY ON HER MUST NOT BE SPLASHED BY WATER

 IF SO ITS RUINED SHE IS  RUINED I AM RUINED .

 SO YOURS TRULY ME MUST WASH THE KITCHEN FLOOR TONIGHT @ 8PM
 [ MY POKER TIME ]
 
 AND THEN I HAVE TO POLISH THE  D AMN  THING .

 MY QUESTIONS TO YOU GUYS ARE 

 1. SHOULD I DIVORCE IRISHRAVER ?

 2. SHOULD I JOIN MAXALLY IN HIS CULT RELIGION ?

 3. SHOULD I TELL RAVER F YOUR TAN ?

 4. DOES RICHARD ORFORD USE THIS SPRAY TANY THINGY ?
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Comments

  • donkeyplopdonkeyplop Member Posts: 3,795
    edited May 2010
    try buying her some ronseal it does exactly what is says on the tin.

    that way she can have a lovely stained tan. :)

    dont most irish people use fake tan seing as the sun never comes out over there??
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  • oynutteroynutter Member Posts: 4,773
    edited May 2010
    apparently you can get an annulment if you can show that she married you under false pretences-- washing the floor should cover it
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  • DeuceAK_47DeuceAK_47 Member Posts: 381
    edited May 2010

    1. No unless you want to get killed by a frying pan lol
    2. LMAO.. no
    3. Depends..if she looks nice or looks orange :-)
    4. Cant you tell...why else do you think hes as orange as the nickelodeon logo.
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  • loonytoonsloonytoons Member Posts: 4,270
    edited May 2010
    Yes to all four questions, and dont you know, if the shelf can wait, so can the floor!
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  • acebarry10acebarry10 Member Posts: 7,556
    edited May 2010
    I sense frying pan ;)
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  • MAXALLYMAXALLY Member Posts: 17,622
    edited May 2010
    1. SHOULD I DIVORCE IRISHRAVER ? NO.....you need feeding while playing poker.

     2. SHOULD I JOIN MAXALLY IN HIS CULT RELIGION ? Depends if you can afford the 56p/week membership and if you truly believe.....

     3. SHOULD I TELL RAVER F YOUR TAN ? NO....it will save you money on not splashing out on a holiday.

     4. DOES RICHARD ORFORD USE THIS SPRAY TANY THINGY ? YES.....and spray boot polish on his hair.

    Hope this helps matey......
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  • tallboytallboy Member Posts: 375
    edited May 2010
     THE KID GETS TO EAT A THING CALLED THE BREAD OF CHRIST ,

     WELL CHRIST DIDN'T MAKE IT ,MOST PROBALY 10 CHINA MEN IN A SWEAT FACTORY

    LMAO
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  • WilhelmWilhelm Member Posts: 1,730
    edited May 2010
    Iis it not called "The Body of Christ"?  I'm sure it is.  Because the wine of Christ sounds tat.
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  • IRISHROVERIRISHROVER Member Posts: 7,606
    edited May 2010
    In Response to Re: POKER / DIVORCE / WASH & POLISH KITCHEN FLOOR?:
    Iis it not called "The Body of Christ"?  I'm sure it is.  Because the wine of Christ sounds tat.
    Posted by Wilhelm
    NO  THAT JUDAS  DOHHHHHHHHH GOT THERE 1ST AND DRANK IT ,

    SO THEY ONLY HAD BREAD LEFT !
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  • WilhelmWilhelm Member Posts: 1,730
    edited May 2010
    In Response to Re: POKER / DIVORCE / WASH & POLISH KITCHEN FLOOR?:
    In Response to Re: POKER / DIVORCE / WASH & POLISH KITCHEN FLOOR? : NO  THAT JUDAS  DOHHHHHHHHH GOT THERE 1ST AND DRANK IT , SO THEY ONLY HAD BREAD LEFT !
    Posted by IRISHROVER
    Um, I think we are talking at crossed purposes.
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  • IRISHROVERIRISHROVER Member Posts: 7,606
    edited May 2010


     I HAVE TO GO NOW BAZ WAS RIGHT AGAIN ,

     THE FRYING PAN IS OUT !
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  • FlutNushFlutNush Member Posts: 371
    edited May 2010
    Luckily for you, The Doctor is in.

    1. Convert to Buddhism.

    2. If you don't have enough orange bed linen or Air Miles to do that, then join The Church Of The Poisoned Mind (I'd opt to play bass... there are less strings).

    3. If the above isn't viable, become a Trekkie.

    4. Tell Her That Must Be Obeyed, that the floors will be done tomorrow... by a Vulcan. One night won't make a difference.

    5. Past performance is not necessarily a guide to future performance, and the value of your chips may go down as well as up. If in doubt, seek the opinion of an Independent Financial Adviser; who will tell you exactly what to do, but will take any profits you make as a fee.

    6. Never play leapfrog with a Unicorn.

    7. Always drink responsibly.

    8. No petting, horse play, ducking, running or bombing. Unless you are a professional pet, horse, duck, runner or bomber.

    9. Wear a vest. 

    10. Look both ways. At everything.


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  • Mr_MiyagiMr_Miyagi Member Posts: 2,031
    edited May 2010
    hide under your bed with enough food and water for 5 days and then see what happens.

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  • irishraveririshraver Member Posts: 35
    edited May 2010

     have any of you seen that good for nothing rover ?
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  • MAXALLYMAXALLY Member Posts: 17,622
    edited May 2010
    In Response to Re: POKER / DIVORCE / WASH & POLISH KITCHEN FLOOR?:
      have any of you seen that good for nothing rover ?
    Posted by irishraver
    Sorry, not seen or heard from him for weeks now. last time I saw him was just after Easter in B n Q purchasing a drill.
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  • JockBMWJockBMW Member Posts: 2,653
    edited May 2010
    In Response to Re: POKER / DIVORCE / WASH & POLISH KITCHEN FLOOR?:
      have any of you seen that good for nothing rover ?
    Posted by irishraver

    Cutting the grass last time I saw him 
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  • IRISHROVERIRISHROVER Member Posts: 7,606
    edited May 2010


      ALL POLISHED THE FLOOR THAT IS ,

      NOW WHILST ON MY KNEES AND THE LOVELY RAVER LOOKING

      AT THIS STAGE LIKE ,

     THAT YOU BEEN TANGO'D CHARACTER ENCOURAGING ME TO
     
     DO A GOOD JOB ON THE FLOOR ,

      [ HANGING OVER ME WITH A FRYING PAN ]

      WHILST IN FEAR OF BEEN TANGO' D BY THE TANNED RAVER .

      MY MIND DRIFTED BACK TO WHAT IT WOULD HAVE BEEN LIKE IN

      MY DADS GENERATION ,

      WHEN MEN WERE REAL MEN AND WOMEN WERE REAL WOMEN .

      THE MEN THEY WORKED AND DRANK AND DRANK AND THEN A BIT MORE .

      THE WOMEN THEY CLEANED , COOKED , WASH CLOTHES , KNITTED,

       DARNED,  AND EVEN POLISHED FLOORS .

      OH I WISH TO HAVE BEEN A MAN IN DOES DAYS  !

     

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