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Names For Poker Hands

MereNoviceMereNovice Member Posts: 4,364
edited October 2009 in Poker Chat
We all know that AK is called "big slick" or Anna Kournikova (cruelly named because it looks good but supposedly rarely wins). AQ is known as the "big chick".

I believe that Jason Barrasford christened AJ as the Anjelina Jolie because it looks good but is far from impregnable.

My personal favourite came from a commentary by Victoria Coren.

She said that JK offsuit was known as the bachelor hand:- Jack-ing off - geddit?

Anyway, anyone else got any favourite names for poker hands?
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    NoseyBonkNoseyBonk Member Posts: 6,168
    edited September 2009
    Yeah .. 4K I call "The dreadful hand" ... cuz it's four king dreadful lol
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    FlashFlushFlashFlush Member Posts: 4,494
    edited September 2009
    J4... Flat tyre.. because thats what a jacks for
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    RICHORFORDRICHORFORD Member Posts: 5,571
    edited September 2009
    If KKQQ comes down on the board, I always think of Brokeback Mountain. Two cowboys who happen to be queens...
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    DraigDraig Member Posts: 231
    edited September 2009
    6-9

    Big Lick
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    BIG_G89BIG_G89 Member Posts: 1
    edited September 2009
    Q 3 the gay waiter, queen with a tray.
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    themackemthemackem Member Posts: 195
    edited September 2009
    10 4 ... over and out ( radio jargon)
    j 5 ... motown ( jackson 5)
    55 speed limit (u.s.a)
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    DraigDraig Member Posts: 231
    edited September 2009
    Shouldn't it be J-4 for a jackson 4 now?
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    NorbitNorbit Member Posts: 490
    edited September 2009
    In Response to Re: Names For Poker Hands:
    Shouldn't it be J-4 for a jackson 4 now?
    Posted by Draig
    Oh thats a bit harsh!

    my new fav hand hand 88- Snowmen
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    Sky_DaveSky_Dave Member Posts: 3,288
    edited September 2009
    7-3 offsuit - the Kronenbourg (the slightly stronger beer hand). I made that one up myself and everything.
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    MereNoviceMereNovice Member Posts: 4,364
    edited September 2009
    In Response to Re: Names For Poker Hands:
    7-3 offsuit - the Kronenbourg (the slightly stronger beer hand). I made that one up myself and everything .
    Posted by Sky_Dave
    Copyright it now - quick.
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    AnonemouseAnonemouse Member Posts: 22
    edited September 2009
    I've heard A4 being called the Transvestite hand, as the 4 kind of looks like an ace.

    Surely Ten King has to be the "Old Man's Hand", being as it is TK...
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    MereNoviceMereNovice Member Posts: 4,364
    edited September 2009
    In Response to Re: Names For Poker Hands:
    Surely Ten King has to be the "Old Man's Hand", being as it is TK...
    Posted by Anonemouse
    I can feel a ban coming. :-)
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    KnackersYaKnackersYa Member Posts: 468
    edited September 2009
    A,A,2,2,2 = The Marksman (three ducks, two bullets)
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    FlutNushFlutNush Member Posts: 371
    edited September 2009

    2,2 = 'The Desmond' (as in 'Archbishop Desmond Tutu')

     

    4,4 = Desmond & The Missus

     

    9,9 = Achtung!

     

    A,A = 'Pocket-Heartache-If-Slow-Played-Against-Multi-Opponents' (If you're really pushed for time, you might simply want to refer to these as: 'PHISPAMO'... Or if you can't be messed with that, then 'Rockets' is still good. Failing that, you may not want to call them anything for fear of nobody betting into you)

     

    3,7 = Irish Full House

     

    5,6 = Cannibal 7 (because if you play this, then on the flop, you're really hoping to see that seven ate nine)

     

    5,7 = 'You Have The Cake & I'll Have The Biscuits' (no particular reason, just thought I'd be the first to call 5,7 by that name)

     

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    FlutNushFlutNush Member Posts: 371
    edited September 2009

    Thinking about this some more... Wouldn't it be simpler if we stopped naming poker hands using convoluted slang, and instead, just used real Christian names?

     

    For example:

     

    AA = Steve

     

    22 = Doris

     

    33 = Keith

     

    44 = Lionel

     

    Etc. Etc.

     

    I know it's not as creative, and I know it will never catch on, but wouldn't it make the World Series a little more entertaining if you could hear the commentators say: “Hansen's under the gun with Keith, Ivey's in the small blind holding Lionel, and I suspect they're both about to be re-raised by Annie, who's woken up with Steve!”

     

    Don't say 'No' immediately. Give it some thought first. I'll bet you start warming to the idea...

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    GREGA1GREGA1 Member Posts: 4
    edited September 2009
    99 GERMAN LESBIENS
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    NoseyBonkNoseyBonk Member Posts: 6,168
    edited September 2009
    In Response to Re: Names For Poker Hands:
    6-9 Big Lick
    Posted by Draig
    LOL That's a good 'un!

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    DTWBANDITDTWBANDIT Member Posts: 6,451
    edited September 2009


            
                 3-2 won- dustybin
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    Dudeskin8Dudeskin8 Member Posts: 6,228
    edited September 2009
    In Response to Re: Names For Poker Hands:
    Thinking about this some more... Wouldn't it be simpler if we stopped naming poker hands using convoluted slang, and instead, just used real Christian names?   For example:   AA = Steve   22 = Doris   33 = Keith   44 = Lionel   Etc. Etc.   I know it's not as creative, and I know it will never catch on, but wouldn't it make the World Series a little more entertaining if you could hear the commentators say: “Hansen's under the gun with Keith, Ivey's in the small blind holding Lionel, and I suspect they're both about to be re-raised by Annie, who's woken up with Steve!”   Don't say 'No' immediately. Give it some thought first. I'll bet you start warming to the idea...
    Posted by FlutNush
    Love it !!! LOL
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    OMahonyOOMahonyO Member Posts: 1,883
    edited September 2009
    In Response to Re: Names For Poker Hands:
    Thinking about this some more... Wouldn't it be simpler if we stopped naming poker hands using convoluted slang, and instead, just used real Christian names?   For example:   AA = Steve   22 = Doris   33 = Keith   44 = Lionel   Etc. Etc.   I know it's not as creative, and I know it will never catch on, but wouldn't it make the World Series a little more entertaining if you could hear the commentators say: “Hansen's under the gun with Keith, Ivey's in the small blind holding Lionel, and I suspect they're both about to be re-raised by Annie, who's woken up with Steve!”   Don't say 'No' immediately. Give it some thought first. I'll bet you start warming to the idea...
    Posted by FlutNush
    this made me chuckle, n1
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