Actually, whilst I'm wandering down Amnesia Avenue, to remember creative insults... Many years ago, some Sports TV bigwigs apparently tried to spice up the Cricket coverage. Their idea, was to place microphones around the pitch to pick up exchanges between players, and discussions about strategy. The plan backfired and all they picked up, was abuse. I forget the players' names, but one such exchange involved a new batsman about to take the crease, when a devious wicket-keeper attempted to put him off his stoke: Wicket-Keeper: “Oi, how come you're so fat?” Batsman: “Because your Mum gives me a biscuit every time I frot with her ”. Please note: as this is a friendly (ish) forum, I have slightly amended the language so as to avoid offence. Posted by FlutNush
Yes, this one was attributed to Shane Warne as Mere said. My favourite cricket sledge concerns Ian Botham and Rodney Marsh, the Aussie wicketkeeper. Allegedly it goes something like this:
Botham comes out to bat, and Marsh Says to him " Hi Beefy, how's your wife and MY kids" Botham replies " The wife's fine thanks, and the kids are retarded"
Don't know if it's just another urban myth, expanded down the years, but it made me laugh.
Nice one Labrat That's a perfect advert for the fact that, despite what the tabloids would have you believe, drugs actually don't rot your brain. If anything, they seems to sharpen your wit, and ought to be upgraded from 'Class B' to 'Mandatory'. Mr. Botham would doubtless be proud of this contribution.
But I'd also like to address FlashFlushs' point, i.e.: “Saying sorry when giving out a bad beat”. Seriously, what is the correct etiquette here?
If you say 'Sorry', it appears understandably disingenuous.
If you say 'Unlucky', it sounds like you're stating the obvious.
If you say 'I shouldn't have even been in the hand, I'm quite mad', it creates unnecessary tension and undue concern.
If you say nothing, you look smug.
I've tried diversionary tactics before, but alas, to no avail. For example, suddenly shouting 'Is that a badger behind you? Blimey, how did that get in here?' simply draws even more attention to you.
Can we also divert this post even more, to agree upon the correct way of being the victim a bad beat? How do you answer someone who has perpetrated the bad beat? Is the following acceptable: “You do realise of course, that I shall have to follow you home and kill you?”
I'm in such a quandary, I may have to find another game. Like Cage Fighting.
You do see the weirdest things typed into the ChatBox during Poker Tourneys. If you see any oddball ones, Post them here please. I'm going to try & make notes of ones I see & Post them daily. Here's tonight's offering, from a Tourney I played this evening. This guy was sitting very deep, triple average I think. He said..... "I'm not playing here again, I'm going back to (another Online CardRoom), they have better River Cards there". And he was serious. Posted by Tikay10
There was a commentary on a cricket match some years ago, It was West Indies v England, I dont know who the commentator was, and it went...............the bowlers Holding (Ian) the batsman's Willey (Peter).
In Response to Re: You could not make it up. : For your eyes only Tikay. Metropolitan line. London Underground. When the trains break down i fix them. Let me know when the ceremony is, i brought some new pants so its all good. P.S I think skyrich sounds very manly when he closes a thread or deletes a post. Must get in at platinum level now. Posted by achill
Coolio!
Neasden Depot?
Met only - not Circle, District, or Hammersmith & City?
Aussies are big and empty, just like their country. Ian Botham I wish I could remember the players name, but one guy came out to bat and Shane Warne said to him, "I've been waiting two years to bowl you out again" the batsman's response. "two years.. looks like you've spent that time eating you fat xxxx " Posted by booboo69
Daryl Cullinan - couldn't play a single delivery from warne - otherwise a to class batsman
You may have heard this one before There was a commentary on a cricket match some years ago, It was West Indies v England, I dont know who the commentator was, and it went...............the bowlers Holding (Ian) the batsman's Willey (Peter). Posted by COCASIRF
In Response to Re: You could not make it up. : Very good, u know your lines. No stock is the same having been build at different times so we don't cross over between lines. That may change with the new s-stock. Posted by achill
It will be such a shame to see the existing stock go - it's wonderfully evocative.
Very old line, The Met. Used to go right out to Chesham & Amersham. They have trees out there, you know, big sticky-uppy ones.
I still remember the time when Ian Botham managed to dodge a bouncer but knocked the bails off has he tried to turn around and the commentator said 'He didn't quite get his leg over there'.
Whilst playing poker down the pub Player A asked Player B "What were you thinking on the flop?" and Player B replied with total innocence "What's a flop?".
You do see the weirdest things typed into the ChatBox during Poker Tourneys. If you see any oddball ones, Post them here please. I'm going to try & make notes of ones I see & Post them daily. Here's tonight's offering, from a Tourney I played this evening. This guy was sitting very deep, triple average I think. He said..... "I'm not playing here again, I'm going back to (another Online CardRoom), they have better River Cards there". And he was serious. Posted by Tikay10
I say stupid things sometimes...i was doing really poorly in a tournament...player were calling with rubbish! Oh god i said, i do wish i was playing...
Comments
Ian Botham
I wish I could remember the players name, but one guy came out to bat and Shane Warne said to him, "I've been waiting two years to bowl you out again"
the batsman's response.
"two years.. looks like you've spent that time eating you fat xxxx "
Botham comes out to bat, and Marsh Says to him " Hi Beefy, how's your wife and MY kids"
Botham replies " The wife's fine thanks, and the kids are retarded"
Don't know if it's just another urban myth, expanded down the years, but it made me laugh.
just a quick note... i have had to remove a recent post from this discussion. i know this is a jokey thread but please keep all the language decent!
thank you for your understanding on this.
Rich
There was a commentary on a cricket match some years ago, It was West Indies v England, I dont know who the commentator was, and it went...............the bowlers Holding (Ian) the batsman's Willey (Peter).
Metropolitan line. London Underground. When the trains break down i fix them.
Let me know when the ceremony is, i brought some new pants so its all good.
P.S I think skyrich sounds very manly when he closes a thread or deletes a post.
Must get in at platinum level now.
Neasden Depot?
Met only - not Circle, District, or Hammersmith & City?
The commentator was Brian Johnstone
No stock is the same having been build at different times so we don't cross over between lines.
That may change with the new s-stock.
Very old line, The Met. Used to go right out to Chesham & Amersham. They have trees out there, you know, big sticky-uppy ones.
Oldest stock on the underground, built in the 1960's.
Was going to be built in the 1930's but got postponed because of WW2.
Little bit of train anorak info for you.
Insert baby for refund
Oh god i said, i do wish i was playing...
TEEGAY
RICHAWFULL
GIDZ4.2pints-1 shot
lol