Played no poker last night, had my mum and family visit for a very frank conversation about something that I have never mentioned on here but it's something I will touch on as it's very much part of my life at the moment.
Several weeks ago my Mum was diagonosed with pancreatic cancer at age 62. Now the chance of beating this is very very slim, and we have over the last few weeks come to terms with the fact that she has probably months to live. Even with the treament she is receiving it's not going to add that much on to here life.
Given the fact the treament makes her feel constantly ill it's not what you would call a a great way to see out the rest of your days when your just feeling ill 24/7.
Along with the illness from the treament, she has spiralled into depression. At this point it's the lowest I have ever seen here since being diagonsed.
So we have come to a point where my mum is deciding if she will give up the treatment and hopefully with treatment for the depression she will feel better and at least enjoy the days she had left with us. To give you an idea she doesn't want to do anything at the moment, to a point where she doesn't even get ready or want to go anywhere or see anyone. The treament only makes her feel worse.
Essentaily she is depressed because of the situation and when she has treament for the cancer she is physically ill, which makes her more depressed.
So my mum has decided to give up the treament and she has our full support. Even though it means she will have less time with us, we are hoping it will be a better quality of life. Just hoping she can turn a corner with the depression and she/we can enjoy whatever time she has left with us.
It's very strange because the subject is allways the elephant in the room, and you can't just help feeling down about the whole situation. So when I see my mum it's very difficult to ignore the obvious that she is dieing. It's something I have had to come to terms with, but it's odd that what I feel more angry about is that she is depressed and not that she has cancer. Because at least if she wasn't depressed we/she could be spending more quality time together. is this just a selfish thought, probably yes & no. You hear about people dieing and you think, ok write down a list of the things you want to do before you die and do them. Sounds simple right, but when that person is depressed and doesn't even want to write a list it's so frustrating.
My mum needs a bit of run good to get better and at least smile again and want to do things. So hopefully the uppers and counselling will work over the next few weeks and we can get back to normal or at least as normal as we can be.
So.........anyway - enough of that..........thanks for listening....it just feels good to write this down as I don't relly talk about this much and while it's comforting to ignore it and sometimes forget your mum is dieing - it truly never goes away.
hi rancid, so sorry for you your family and of course your mum. it's just about as bad as it gets. my step-dad died of cancer 8 yrs ago now,and our family had to go through that,the real sad thing being my dad as we all called him,was just about the nicest man you could ever have met,which made it so much harder. you will get through it m8,in fact by writing it down and posting it as you have,you are already making the 1st small steps in dealing with it. all you can do is all be there for your mum,as she has always been there for you all,and give her all the love and support she deserves. try and make the best of the time you have left.hopefully things should now improve somewhat now that your mum is coming off the treatment that she was on. even now after 8 yrs i wish i could have just 1 day again with my dad,just to do some of the things we loved doing together,either fishing, playing golf,badly,or even watching something stupid that he would have taped off the telly,and missed taping the ending,and even listening to him munching his way through 3 or 4 packets of crisps and really annoying me. lol one day at a time m8,one day at a time. dev
im with ya brother,my thoughts go out to mum and all the family, went thru a similar situ couple of years ago,i spoke about it on the forum it made me feel better m8 its hard to play with whats happening it seems irrelevent..stay strong rancid
Just to add to the posts above, It Is true to say the only advice I can offer Is to try to stay strong for everyone and of course yourself. Sending my best wishes to you all.
Just to add to the posts above, It Is true to say the only advice I can offer Is to try to stay strong for everyone and of course yourself. Sending my best wishes to you all. Posted by TiaDalma
As above Rancid. Best wishes to you and your family.
thanks for the kind words and best wishes. Another hard day, Mum back in hospital overnight. They going to feed her intrevenous, hopefully it will help.
That's right people poker is just a game we enjoy playing, win or lose it's no biggie.
Probably going to be playing some pokerz tonight actually Helps take my mind off the situation anyway, plus I can't do braindead TV !
thanks for the kind words and best wishes. Another hard day, Mum back in hospital overnight. They going to feed her intrevenous, hopefully it will help. That's right people poker is just a game we enjoy playing, win or lose it's no biggie. Probably going to be playing some pokerz tonight actually Helps take my mind off the situation anyway, plus I can't do braindead TV ! thanks Marc Posted by rancid
It's awful news about your mum but an honest, open approach is best beleive me. As for depression, i have suffered from it after my brother's suicide 12 years ago and it has recurred for no reason once. Please consider getting counselling for your mum as these people are fantastic. They will allow your mum to talk until she can see 'solutions' for herself in what she wishes for the coming months. It certainly helped me to get out of my depression. Its not a kick up the pants solution as that does not exist. depression is more complex than this. I've felt just like you described...not wanting to do anything.It's a strange feeling. Possibly a frank and honest exchange with your gp with mum present may help you form a plan. This period is going to be very difficult for you Marc. it may help to talk to friends too. Try to stand back and see the situation from what you would like to see realistically and how you can bring that about. I'm sure your mum loves you and wants the time ahead to be as positive a time as possible. Try to enjoy each day as it comes as much as possible.
Yeah depression is very hard to understand - even my Mum gets angry with herself for feeling this way :S
Regarding poker I bubbled FT in min BH, GaryQQQ is still playing on FT so may have a nice update for his thread ) hand that destroyed me - I had AQ & call UTG shove - oppo shows A3 - result +) 3 on the turn grrrrrrrrr ! crippled ! Exit hand shove 4bb after being crippled w/Q7 - called by Q9 - sigh - flop 7JJ ) 9 on turn - sigh guess my luck run out towards the end _(
Cash challenge thingy- went a bit mad played some NL50 & NL20 for a little while but it was mainly MTT I was playing tonight - playing cash now can't see it changing much ) o I flopped trips 2's ) easy money for the kids ) o no someone flopped a set in another hand - wowza
cheers Prof - nice words/advice Yeah depression is very hard to understand - even my Mum gets angry with herself for feeling this way :S Regarding poker I bubbled FT in min BH, GaryQQQ is still playing on FT so may have a nice update for his thread ) hand that destroyed me - I had AQ & call UTG shove - oppo shows A3 - result +) 3 on the turn grrrrrrrrr ! crippled ! Exit hand shove 4bb after being crippled w/Q7 - called by Q9 - sigh - flop 7JJ ) 9 on turn - sigh guess my luck run out towards the end _( Cash challenge thingy- went a bit mad played some NL50 & NL20 for a little while but it was mainly MTT I was playing tonight - playing cash now can't see it changing much ) o I flopped trips 2's ) easy money for the kids ) o no someone flopped a set in another hand - wowza current £145 Posted by rancid
Hi Rancid
Hope it can hep. i can understand the anger thing too. You do feel annoyed with D. I got a good book about it and it helped me to understand why i was angry, constantly tired etc.( I can send the title etc if you like). there are coping mechanisms to learn. Use the poker to give yourself some down time from the situation. You'll need it. A Dr rec to me taking up a new sport/hobby. I chose golf and it was like 4 hours where all i thought about was getting a ball into a hole and improving on that score in the next round. It gave me breathing space for when i got back to the real world, as it were. My brain would have been frazzled otherwise. Maybe see ya at DTD tomoz...cheers...
I have gone off on a bit of a slant here but with the £125 of hard earned cash for xmas.
I'am going to take this and play the £5 DYM level for a while, bored of cash so......change is better than a rest )
See if I can make any progress, give it a week and I'll be quickly bored of DYM's ) I haven't played DYM's for an absolute age, so it will be intresting to see how I get on.
Cheers Prof, I have gone off on a bit of a slant here but with the £125 of hard earned cash for xmas. I'am going to take this and play the £5 DYM level for a while, bored of cash so......change is better than a rest ) See if I can make any progress, give it a week and I'll be quickly bored of DYM's ) I haven't played DYM's for an absolute age, so it will be intresting to see how I get on. Marc Posted by rancid
Yeah, my girlfriend Emma plays pretty much only £3 and £5 DYMs and was not impressed to see you registering in all the games she was gonna play tonight lol.
Hi Rancid only bothered to trail through gpc hadnt done it in awhile.....i wish you well in your dyms good timing maybe with new promo by sky and ill more than likely bump into on the tbles for revenge lol still cursing me calling your all-in pot/head stealing in mini bh.....As for your Mam stay strong and take the odd day off and the 2 of use visit the odd place from years gone by it will give you all a nice boost
Hi Ranny, only just caught up with this m8, really sorry to hear about your Mum's situation.
I had experience of this a number of years ago when my father in law suffered from deep depression and was so bad that he was admitted to a psychiatric unit for 12 months, sadly to no avail. Really is a terrible illness but to have it coupled with cancer must be horrendous for you all.
Hope the uppers kick in and you can all spend some quality time with her.
Cheers pom & all for kind words. Played some £5 DYM made a little, played some cash after - won a little Lambert tell her, I will be coming back ! £162 On a positive note my Mum seems a little better, hospital pumped her with steroids and water + food. Going to see her after work as she is in Hospital still, hopefully she is smiling a little ) Be back to give u all grief in the DTD so don't worry about that, I mean CMON Tikay put some money on for us ) I ain't missing the chance of winning his money, happy birthday old man ! Special mention to a THS member - Slklist - w/e his name is - WELL DONE ON FT OF GRAND FINAL ! Have a nice day Marc Posted by rancid
Cheers Marc, I assume you meant me
I'm completely disinterested in your futile challenge, but glad to hear your mum is better.
Keep up the good work and see you in tonights DTD.
yeah meant it just couldn't remember how to spell your mispelt alias )
Mum doing so much better, eating food and drinking tea )
poker ok, had fun in DTD - run deepeish in two -_- just coudn't find the hands late on , exit = 55vQQ - can't remember the other )
DYM broke even (bit bored of DYM's already) _ cash lost some due to little spewage and people hitting invisable turn @ river cards ------- hihi TINTIN thanks for the set ! Can you please leave me alone now - thanks )
nn
Marc
o current = £145
3xNL50 soon if I feel like it's getting a bit toooooooo zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Hi rancid - just caught up with your thread - poker doing ok eh - hope some rubs off on me. Sorry to hear about your mum. Gutsy choice to kick the treatment and go for quality of life rather than quantity - but it makes a lot of sense. gl. Posted by GELDY
Yeah cheers, kicking treatment is /> than Mum being ill 24/7 - spiralling into depression Even though it will not give as long with us, at least she will have sometime where she will actually be able to get out and about and do some stuff. At the end of the day it's not curable, she's dieing - simple ! Hopefully she will get to see her last xmas this year, cross fingers and all that.
As for poker I won the DTD last night ) Got in from the Hospital about 8:45 - sat down went to work and lucked my way to deep run in two.
Now this thread has a massive egde to it because if I do manage to win some big money in a MTT, it will be for a few days get away for the whole family - every penny counts right now )
quote of the day
"It's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years." - Abraham Lincoln
Comments
Several weeks ago my Mum was diagonosed with pancreatic cancer at age 62.
Now the chance of beating this is very very slim, and we have over the last few weeks come to terms with the fact that she has probably months to live. Even with the treament she is receiving it's not going to add that much on to here life.
Given the fact the treament makes her feel constantly ill it's not what you would call a a great way to see out the rest of your days when your just feeling ill 24/7.
Along with the illness from the treament, she has spiralled into depression. At this point it's the lowest I have ever seen here since being diagonsed.
So we have come to a point where my mum is deciding if she will give up the treatment and hopefully with treatment for the depression she will feel better and at least enjoy the days she had left with us. To give you an idea she doesn't want to do anything at the moment, to a point where she doesn't even get ready or want to go anywhere or see anyone.
The treament only makes her feel worse.
Essentaily she is depressed because of the situation and when she has treament for the cancer she is physically ill, which makes her more depressed.
So my mum has decided to give up the treament and she has our full support.
Even though it means she will have less time with us, we are hoping it will be a better quality of life.
Just hoping she can turn a corner with the depression and she/we can enjoy whatever time she has left with us.
It's very strange because the subject is allways the elephant in the room, and you can't just help feeling down about the whole situation. So when I see my mum it's very difficult to ignore the obvious that she is dieing.
It's something I have had to come to terms with, but it's odd that what I feel more angry about is that she is depressed and not that she has cancer. Because at least if she wasn't depressed we/she could be spending more quality time together.
is this just a selfish thought, probably yes & no.
You hear about people dieing and you think, ok write down a list of the things you want to do before you die and do them.
Sounds simple right, but when that person is depressed and doesn't even want to write a list it's so frustrating.
My mum needs a bit of run good to get better and at least smile again and want to do things.
So hopefully the uppers and counselling will work over the next few weeks and we can get back to normal or at least as normal as we can be.
So.........anyway - enough of that..........thanks for listening....it just feels good to write this down as I don't relly talk about this much and while it's comforting to ignore it and sometimes forget your mum is dieing - it truly never goes away.
...
so sorry for you your family and of course your mum.
it's just about as bad as it gets.
my step-dad died of cancer 8 yrs ago now,and our family had to go through that,the real sad thing being my dad as we all called him,was just about the nicest man you could ever have met,which made it so much harder.
you will get through it m8,in fact by writing it down and posting it as you have,you are already making the 1st small steps in dealing with it.
all you can do is all be there for your mum,as she has always been there for you all,and give her all the love and support she deserves.
try and make the best of the time you have left.hopefully things should now improve somewhat now that your mum is coming off the treatment that she was on.
even now after 8 yrs i wish i could have just 1 day again with my dad,just to do some of the things we loved doing together,either fishing, playing golf,badly,or even watching something stupid that he would have taped off the telly,and missed taping the ending,and even listening to him munching his way through 3 or 4 packets of crisps and really annoying me. lol
one day at a time m8,one day at a time.
dev
went thru a similar situ couple of years ago,i spoke about it on the forum it made me feel better m8
its hard to play with whats happening it seems irrelevent..stay strong rancid
Another hard day, Mum back in hospital overnight. They going to feed her intrevenous, hopefully it will help.
That's right people poker is just a game we enjoy playing, win or lose it's no biggie.
Probably going to be playing some pokerz tonight actually
Helps take my mind off the situation anyway, plus I can't do braindead TV !
thanks
Marc
It's awful news about your mum but an honest, open approach is best beleive me. As for depression, i have suffered from it after my brother's suicide 12 years ago and it has recurred for no reason once. Please consider getting counselling for your mum as these people are fantastic. They will allow your mum to talk until she can see 'solutions' for herself in what she wishes for the coming months. It certainly helped me to get out of my depression. Its not a kick up the pants solution as that does not exist. depression is more complex than this.
I've felt just like you described...not wanting to do anything.It's a strange feeling. Possibly a frank and honest exchange with your gp with mum present may help you form a plan. This period is going to be very difficult for you Marc. it may help to talk to friends too. Try to stand back and see the situation from what you would like to see realistically and how you can bring that about. I'm sure your mum loves you and wants the time ahead to be as positive a time as possible.
Try to enjoy each day as it comes as much as possible.
Yeah depression is very hard to understand - even my Mum gets angry with herself for feeling this way :S
Regarding poker I bubbled FT in min BH, GaryQQQ is still playing on FT so may have a nice update for his thread ) hand that destroyed me - I had AQ & call UTG shove - oppo shows A3 - result +) 3 on the turn grrrrrrrrr ! crippled !
Exit hand shove 4bb after being crippled w/Q7 - called by Q9 - sigh - flop 7JJ ) 9 on turn - sigh
guess my luck run out towards the end _(
Cash challenge thingy- went a bit mad played some NL50 & NL20 for a little while but it was mainly MTT I was playing tonight - playing cash now can't see it changing much ) o I flopped trips 2's ) easy money for the kids ) o no someone flopped a set in another hand - wowza
current £145
Hope it can hep. i can understand the anger thing too. You do feel annoyed with D. I got a good book about it and it helped me to understand why i was angry, constantly tired etc.( I can send the title etc if you like). there are coping mechanisms to learn.
Use the poker to give yourself some down time from the situation. You'll need it. A Dr rec to me taking up a new sport/hobby. I chose golf and it was like 4 hours where all i thought about was getting a ball into a hole and improving on that score in the next round. It gave me breathing space for when i got back to the real world, as it were. My brain would have been frazzled otherwise.
Maybe see ya at DTD tomoz...cheers...
I have gone off on a bit of a slant here but with the £125 of hard earned cash for xmas.
I'am going to take this and play the £5 DYM level for a while, bored of cash so......change is better than a rest )
See if I can make any progress, give it a week and I'll be quickly bored of DYM's )
I haven't played DYM's for an absolute age, so it will be intresting to see how I get on.
Marc
Hi Ranny, only just caught up with this m8, really sorry to hear about your Mum's situation.
I had experience of this a number of years ago when my father in law suffered from deep depression and was so bad that he was admitted to a psychiatric unit for 12 months, sadly to no avail. Really is a terrible illness but to have it coupled with cancer must be horrendous for you all.
Hope the uppers kick in and you can all spend some quality time with her.
All the best m8
Bill
I'm completely disinterested in your futile challenge, but glad to hear your mum is better.
Keep up the good work and see you in tonights DTD.
Mum doing so much better, eating food and drinking tea )
poker ok, had fun in DTD - run deepeish in two -_- just coudn't find the hands late on , exit = 55vQQ - can't remember the other
DYM broke even (bit bored of DYM's already) _ cash lost some due to little spewage and people hitting invisable turn @ river cards ------- hihi TINTIN thanks for the set ! Can you please leave me alone now - thanks )
nn
Marc
o current = £145
3xNL50 soon if I feel like it's getting a bit toooooooo zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Yeah cheers, kicking treatment is /> than Mum being ill 24/7 - spiralling into depression
Even though it will not give as long with us, at least she will have sometime where she will actually be able to get out and about and do some stuff. At the end of the day it's not curable, she's dieing - simple !
Hopefully she will get to see her last xmas this year, cross fingers and all that.
As for poker I won the DTD last night ) Got in from the Hospital about 8:45 - sat down went to work and lucked my way to deep run in two.
Now this thread has a massive egde to it because if I do manage to win some big money in a MTT, it will be for a few days get away for the whole family - every penny counts right now )
quote of the day
"It's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years." - Abraham Lincoln