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Poker Limericks

VespaPXVespaPX Member Posts: 12,487
edited October 2013 in Poker Chat
Just a bit of fun for the weekend.


There is a young (ish) man called Dohhh
Who likes to play HU Sit n Go
He likes to give advice
Which for the community is all very nice
I wonder, if like Lambert , he'll go Pro

Add your own :-)
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Comments

  • BorinLonerBorinLoner Member Posts: 3,863
    edited October 2013
    Doesn't scan properly. ;)


    I'm currently looking for rhyming words for hhyftrftdr... It's tough going so far.
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  • TeddyBloatTeddyBloat Member Posts: 1,419
    edited October 2013
    someone's got to lower the tone, may as well be me

    i'll set the bar pretty low, lets see who can crawl under it...

    SARAH, ANNA AND TIKAY,
    ONCE PLAYED STRIP-POKER THREE-WAY,
    WITH NO IFS OR BUTS,
    HE SHOWED HIS FLOPPED NUTS,
    NOT A SCENE YOU'D EVER WANT TO REPLAY

    Cheers,
    TEDDY


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  • churchy18churchy18 Member Posts: 1,850
    edited October 2013
    In Response to Re: Poker Limericks:
    someone's got to lower the tone, may as well be me i'll set the bar pretty low, lets see who can crawl under it... SARAH, ANNA AND TIKAY, ONCE PLAYED STRIP-POKER THREE-WAY, WITH NO IFS OR BUTS, HE SHOWED HIS FLOPPED NUTS, NOT A SCENE YOU'D EVER WANT TO REPLAY Cheers, TEDDY
    Posted by TeddyBloat
    like that 1 :@)
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  • SlipwaterSlipwater Member Posts: 3,665
    edited October 2013
    I raised him three times the big blind
    With not much of my chips left behind
    I was repping real strong
    And his call was just wrong
    But with aces, I don't really mind

    :)
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  • VespaPXVespaPX Member Posts: 12,487
    edited October 2013
    Bad beat after Bad beat
    Someones gotta take the heat
    It might be you
    Or could be me too
    Just reload and take your seat
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  • david666david666 Member Posts: 123
    edited October 2013
    Poker is not for me,
    I think you will all agree,
    Im too fond of the drink,
    But let me think, 
    I can do both at the SPT.
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  • vaigretvaigret Member Posts: 16,390
    edited October 2013
    In Response to Re: Poker Limericks:
    someone's got to lower the tone, may as well be me i'll set the bar pretty low, lets see who can crawl under it... SARAH, ANNA AND TIKAY, ONCE PLAYED STRIP-POKER THREE-WAY, WITH NO IFS OR BUTS, HE SHOWED HIS FLOPPED NUTS, NOT A SCENE YOU'D EVER WANT TO REPLAY Cheers, TEDDY
    Posted by TeddyBloat
    +2 very good
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  • paige55paige55 Member Posts: 2,953
    edited October 2013
    there was a girl named paige, who did not follow the page,she read and she read,but it hurt her head,now she no longer followers the paige :():):)
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  • paige55paige55 Member Posts: 2,953
    edited October 2013
    In Response to Re: Poker Limericks:
    Doesn't scan properly. ;) I'm currently looking for rhyming words for hhyftrftdr... It's tough going so far.
    Posted by BorinLoner
    hhyftrfdr went a hhftr he gave up, when he went to the shop to buy some hhft,the shop keeper gave up, it was to much just stop with the hhyftrftdr :):):) just ask and chips i will give no hhyftrfdr do i ask
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  • TeddyBloatTeddyBloat Member Posts: 1,419
    edited October 2013
    Paige, you are boss.

    Cheers, 
    TEDDY
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  • SlipwaterSlipwater Member Posts: 3,665
    edited October 2013
    I once met a player called hhyftrftdr
    Who told me to fold my fhyhrrdtf
    I opened rftdhyhfr
    He shoved his yhrffdth
    I folded and he showed his dftyhrfr
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  • a00rocka00rock Member Posts: 832
    edited October 2013
    There was a young fellow called Ray
    Who thought he'd play poker one day
    He loaded the chips
    He lost many flips
    He now needs a sub just to play.  ☺
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  • vaigretvaigret Member Posts: 16,390
    edited October 2013
    For the conspiratory theorists out there,
    Who play Sky Poker whilst tearing their hair,
    Variance in cards, 
    For all, even retards,
    Can leave your bankroll looking threadbare.

    Three aces were turned on the flop,
    With one in my hand i'm on top,
    My chips go all in,
    Oppo's in it to win,
    Sky rivers Royal flush, not fair cop.
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  • Ice_TigerIce_Tiger Member Posts: 1,533
    edited October 2013
    The Presenters comp was all set
    Tats & James were both a good bet
    Anna & Jules
    Were nobody's fools
    Sarah & Orford just met

    The blinds started quite small
    James was standing quite tall
    He talked movies too much
    He just lost his touch
    And soon he went for a fall

    Jules was small & so sweet
    She had only just found her feet
    She shoved on a draw
    The outcome was poor
    And she had to vacate her seat

    Anna's stack got quite short
    Then an Ace King she caught
    Orford called with his twos
    He had little to lose
    For Anna, her fight had been fought

    So that left us with three
    Agression now would be key
    Tatty & Sarah
    And Black shirt wearer
    To who the winner should be

    Then we are caught on the hop
    When sweet Tats is next for the chop
    A raise by Tats
    And Orford flats
    But hits a set on the flop

    They have a short break for dinner
    Sarah the saint & Richard the sinner
    Who'd be supreme
    The music queen
    Or the Leeds side event winner

    Rich was getting quite whacked
    And losing chips was a fact
    She 3bet all in
    He folded again
    And Sarah was very well stacked

    He raised with 66, which is fair
    She called her big blind with a stare
    He shoved 754
    And met with a call
    Cos Sarah had a big pair

    Orford called for an 8
    A queen for Sarah was great
    An Ace, Sarah swears
    Orford declares
    You only need four for a straight

    Jules & Anna started to stamp 
    The Lady wasn't a tramp
    James had great heart
    Rich fell apart
    And Sarah is SKY Poker Champ(ion)
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  • TeddyBloatTeddyBloat Member Posts: 1,419
    edited October 2013
    In Response to Re: Poker Limericks:
    The Presenters comp was all set Tats & James were both a good bet Anna & Jules Were nobody's fools Sarah & Orford just met The blinds started quite small James was standing quite tall He talked movies too much He just lost his touch And soon he went for a fall Jules was small & so sweet She had only just found her feet She shoved on a draw The outcome was poor And she had to vacate her seat Anna's stack got quite short Then an Ace King she caught Orford called with his twos He had little to lose For Anna, her fight had been fought So that left us with three Agression now would be key Tatty & Sarah And Black shirt wearer To who the winner should be Then we are caught on the hop When sweet Tats is next for the chop A raise by Tats And Orford flats But hits a set on the flop They have a short break for dinner Sarah the saint & Richard the sinner Who'd be supreme The music queen Or the Leeds side event winner Rich was getting quite whacked And losing chips was a fact She 3bet all in He folded again And Sarah was very well stacked He raised with 66, which is fair She called her big blind with a stare He shoved 754 And met with a call Cos Sarah had a big pair Orford called for an 8 A queen for Sarah was great An Ace, Sarah swears Orford declares You only need four for a straight Jules & Anna started to stamp  The Lady wasn't a tramp James had great heart Rich fell apart And Sarah is SKY Poker Champ(ion)
    Posted by Ice_Tiger


    Haha, amazing!

    The orford-straight got a genuine lol.

    Wp

    Cheers, 
    TEDDY

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  • a00rocka00rock Member Posts: 832
    edited October 2013
    In Response to Re: Poker Limericks:
    In Response to Re: Poker Limericks : Haha, amazing! The orford-straight got a genuine lol. Wp Cheers,  TEDDY
    Posted by TeddyBloat
    +1 Sarah being well stacked and having a big pair had me lol-in.
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  • Ice_TigerIce_Tiger Member Posts: 1,533
    edited October 2013
    In Response to Re: Poker Limericks:
    In Response to Re: Poker Limericks : +1 Sarah being well stacked and having a big pair had me lol-in.
    Posted by a00rock
    Oh yeah, hadn't realised

    ;)
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  • oynutteroynutter Member Posts: 4,773
    edited October 2013
    There once was a Richard called Orford

    Played poker decidedly awkward

    His suit was quite nice

    But his face like creamed rice

    And his brain came from near Bishop stortford
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  • tomo_efctomo_efc Member Posts: 716
    edited October 2013
    There was a young man from Oldham
    who liked to play texas holdem

    he multi table all night
    till his eye's weren't quite right

    and he ended up going specksavers .....
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  • oynutteroynutter Member Posts: 4,773
    edited October 2013
    In Response to Re: Poker Limericks:
    There was a young man from Oldham who liked to play texas holdem he multi table all night till his eye's weren't quite right and he ended up going specksavers .....
    Posted by tomo_efc

     There was a young fellow called Tomo

    Who knew not today from tomorrow

    He stayed up all night

    But losing his sight

    Had Everton only to follow

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