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THE NEW SHEDLOAD OF FUNNY THINGS -DIARY- CHAT- POKER

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  • oynutteroynutter Member Posts: 4,773
    edited April 2014
      Speaking of above,----a funny post today from Ice Tiger on the show thread with Anna fowl language


    Last Longer Please

    I am a poker player because I want to meet Anna Fowler

    The most common mistakes I made as a beginner to poker was trying to get Anna Fowler say something rude on the TV


    Sorry, I have grown up now
  • oynutteroynutter Member Posts: 4,773
    edited April 2014
     Grown up?---- don't do it Tiger!----- you can see her in HD now!!----- much better for photo-shop too!!
  • oynutteroynutter Member Posts: 4,773
    edited April 2014
     Down with this type of thing!


     Today is the day that Texas-holdem was invented (Wednesday) in Robstown, Texas. 

     Many stories have been told about the origin of Texas hold em, but only one is really true.

     A man named Jack was responsible, he was a gold miner, and a good one at that.

     One monday morning, Jack hit a new seam of pure gold,--- by 12'clock, he had 7 pounds of gold!!

     Off he went to the local saloon to play cards with his mates. Now Jack was a simple kind of man, and 

    so he had no problem finding some eager friends to start a game, but he was celebrating with a 25 year old 

    Tennesee whiskey ---- To cut a long story short, by Wednesday, he was too drunk to handle all his cards, but 

    his good friends did'nt really want him to go home, ---- So they decided to make it easier for the (soon to be) 

    poor fella---- they came up with the game, gave him two cards, told him to hold them, and the rest is history!


                true--- so I'm told
  • oynutteroynutter Member Posts: 4,773
    edited April 2014
     The funny of the day, contrary to popular opinion, is not Ryan Giggs!
  • oynutteroynutter Member Posts: 4,773
    edited April 2014
    •                      NEWS HEADLINES

     Several thousand Manchester United fans have taken a vote on facebook today ------- The poll reveals that 92% of them have recently had a good think about life on the planet in general, and decided that football is silly.
  • oynutteroynutter Member Posts: 4,773
    edited April 2014
     In other news---- An Essex mechanic got confused when a man told him " sump fing fell off me car"
  • diablo_pezdiablo_pez Member Posts: 1,392
    edited April 2014
    Dyslexic man walks into a bra
  • oynutteroynutter Member Posts: 4,773
    edited April 2014
    and bonks his wallocks off
  • oynutteroynutter Member Posts: 4,773
    edited April 2014
    ha ha--- some poker!---



        
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  • oynutteroynutter Member Posts: 4,773
    edited April 2014
     I'm not in the habit of brag posting, then I remembered it's a diary--lol---but really, if you can't brag about winning a few quids for your bankroll,  then you can't brag about losing a few quid by playing stupid--- so it works both ways really----- innit?
  • oynutteroynutter Member Posts: 4,773
    edited April 2014
     I'll brag about losing a few quid tomorrow
  • mrsduckmrsduck Member Posts: 1,901
    edited April 2014
  • oynutteroynutter Member Posts: 4,773
    edited April 2014
     Thanks Mrsduck, I just looked up your symbol, and :-W, I'm :-x,---- %-)
  • oynutteroynutter Member Posts: 4,773
    edited April 2014
    A fella called Outlaw might have something funny to say, but so far he's only said this-----


    why are the regulaary tables never getting playrf. but these stupid heads up bd double yr monry ae. itd not poker its sll LUCK

    ALSO POKER CHIPS WHAT GOOD ARE THE FOR YOU CAN ONLY USE TH IN TOURNMENTS 300PLUS PLSYERS FOR 20£ JOKE
  • oynutteroynutter Member Posts: 4,773
    edited April 2014
     I lost a few quid, by playing stupid--- then I won a few quid, and another few, by playing marvellous---- I've put it down to my new song----

     A five minute break for me eeeeee----- coz I'm the floppin champlon you see   eeeee

    that's because I'm here making tea  eeee

    and you've got something sticky on your knee
  • mrsduckmrsduck Member Posts: 1,901
    edited April 2014
    In Response to Re: THE NEW SHEDLOAD OF FUNNY THINGS -DIARY- CHAT- POKER:
     Thanks Mrsduck, I just looked up your symbol, and :-W, I'm :-x,---- %-)
    Posted by oynutter
    I have no idea what yours mean! But thanks! ;)
  • a00rocka00rock Member Posts: 832
    edited April 2014
    In Response to Re: THE NEW SHEDLOAD OF FUNNY THINGS -DIARY- CHAT- POKER:
    In Response to Re: THE NEW SHEDLOAD OF FUNNY THINGS -DIARY- CHAT- POKER : I have no idea what yours mean! But thanks! ;)
    Posted by mrsduck
    Haa no one ever does u see he is a cryptic genius lol.
  • churchy18churchy18 Member Posts: 1,850
    edited April 2014
    great thread nutter seen this in the joke section and thought it was funny enough


    This man has to go in for a colonoscopy and is rather worried about it.

    Anyway, the nurse soon realises his concern and as the procedure starts reassuringly says to him, "now don't worry, it is perfectly normal to get an ere-ction at this stage" But the man says he hasn't got one.

    To which the Nurse replies, "but I have"
  • churchy18churchy18 Member Posts: 1,850
    edited April 2014

    A Celtic fan dies on match day and goes to heaven in his Green and white top. He knocks on the old pearly gates and out walks St. Peter.
    "Hello mate" says St. Peter, "I'm sorry, no Celtic fans in heaven."
    "What ?" exclaims the man, astonished.
    "You heard, no Celtic fans."
    "But, but, but, I've been a good man", replies the Celtic supporter.
    "Oh really", says St. Peter. "What have you done, then ?"
    "Well" said the guy, "Three weeks before I died, I gave 10 pounds to the starving children in Africa".
    "Oh" says St.Peter. "anything else?"
    "Well, 2 weeks before I died I also gave 10 pounds to the homeless."
    "Hmmm. Anything else?"
    "Yeah. A week before I died I gave 10 pounds to the Albanian orphans."
    "Okay", said St. Peter, "You wait here a minute while I have a word with the governor."
    Ten minutes pass before St. Peter returns. He looks the bloke in the eye and says, "I've had a word with God and he agrees with me.
    Here's your thirty quid back, now f*ck off".
  • oynutteroynutter Member Posts: 4,773
    edited April 2014
    In Response to Re: THE NEW SHEDLOAD OF FUNNY THINGS -DIARY- CHAT- POKER:
    In Response to Re: THE NEW SHEDLOAD OF FUNNY THINGS -DIARY- CHAT- POKER : Haa no one ever does u see he is a cryptic genius lol.
    Posted by a00rock
     Come on now a00rock, does this song look like the words of a cryptic genius?

     A five minute break for me eeeeee----- coz I'm the floppin champlon you see   eeeee

    that's because I'm here making tea  eeee

    and you've got something sticky on your knee
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