Last night I sat down at an NL50 table with £50, and left three hours later with £180... not bad considering it's above my usual (online) comfort zone and I was watching Sons of Anarchy and browsing the internet at the same time. About two hours into my session I bluffed a player off a pot with ace high, and he typed CHEEKY SCOTCH into the chatbox... and yes, it was in block capitals.
I'm a sucker for this kind of opening, so I decided to tell him he was wrong on two counts: firstly, that the word he was looking for was 'Scot'; and secondly, I was Australian anyway.
The conversation went back and forth - me trying to educate him, and him declining. At one point he asked what I did for a living so I told him I was a professional poker player. He correctly pointed out that I couldn't make very much playing only one table, so I told him I had multiple accounts and was actually playing on half a dozen tables under different names. He seemed surprised that I had admitted multi-accounting in the chat box, and despite the (I thought) obvious sarcasm that had permeated the conversation up to that point, I'm still not sure if he knows I was joking.
So... if you don't see me around here again, it's because someone has slapped a ban on me!
Last night I sat down at an NL50 table with £50, and left three hours later with £180... not bad considering it's above my usual (online) comfort zone and I was watching Sons of Anarchy and browsing the internet at the same time. About two hours into my session I bluffed a player off a pot with ace high, and he typed CHEEKY SCOTCH into the chatbox... and yes, it was in block capitals. I'm a sucker for this kind of opening, so I decided to tell him he was wrong on two counts: firstly, that the word he was looking for was 'Scot'; and secondly, I was Australian anyway. The conversation went back and forth - me trying to educate him, and him declining. At one point he asked what I did for a living so I told him I was a professional poker player. He correctly pointed out that I couldn't make very much playing only one table, so I told him I had multiple accounts and was actually playing on half a dozen tables under different names. He seemed surprised that I had admitted multi-accounting in the chat box, and despite the (I thought) obvious sarcasm that had permeated the conversation up to that point, I'm still not sure if he knows I was joking. So... if you don't see me around here again, it's because someone has slapped a ban on me! Posted by Slipwater
So, I'm on another NL50 table last night - killing some time while I wait for Liv to get back to me - and not long after I sit down I have J9 of hearts in the small blind. It's a £15 capped table (which I think does change the dynamic a little).
I raise pre to £1.50 and get two callers - the big blind and the button. The rainbow flop comes down 2 5 9. One heart. I lead out for £3 and the big blind raises to £7 and change. The button calls... so I just ship the remainder of what I'm allowed - £11.50, thinking I'm likely good here. The big blind folds which I'm not sure he should ever be doing after putting so much into the pot, and the button calls. Cards over. He has 6 7 of spades, so is looking for an 8. It doesn't come and I take the pot for about £35.
Pretty standard I'd say, except this guy decides to give me stick for my play. He said I played it horrendously and deserve to lose a lot of money. I reminded him that he had called a raise on the flop with nothing, to which he said: but I had heaps of ways to improve but you were basically drawing dead.
Er... ok mate.
As far as I could tell the only way he was going to improve was by hitting his gutshot, and I don't think you do that most times, but of course, everyone's an expert, so what do I know? I don't think any of the three of us played the hand optimally, but I'm fairly certain the two biggest mistakes were made by the other guys!
I was at a wedding on the weekend. It was the first one I had been to since I came out the other side of my own marriage, and I guess they can be pretty brutal places to be, surrounded by all that love and promise… when all you really want to do is run up to the pair of them, grab them by the shoulders, and tell them to run away screaming in opposite directions, before it descends into this – fromthegreatest rom-com ever made, When Harry Met Sally:
Right now everything is great, everyone is happy, everyone is in love and that is wonderful! But you gotta know that sooner or later you’re gonna be screaming at each other about who’s gonna get this dish. This eight dollar dish will cost you a thousand dollars in phone calls to the legal firm of That’s Mine, This Is Yours…
…Do me a favour, for your own good, put your name in your books right now before they get mixed up and you won’t know whose is whose. ‘Cause someday, believe it or not, you’ll go 15 rounds over who’s gonna get this coffee table.
And – regional language aside – that’s, unfortunately, a fairly accurate depiction of how these things sometimes end up. But you set all that bitterness and sorrow aside for a few hours – well, you try to – and you eat your chicken and dance to Stealers Wheel… again.
I wrote in the wedding card:
The average length of marriages in the UK is 11.3 years. Mine didn’t last that long. Good luck with yours. Lots of love, Brian.
It masqueraded as tongue in cheek, but I’m not even sure the smiley face at the end of the sentence helped me dig my way out of that one. I know them both so hopefully they saw and appreciated the black humour.
I looked around the room and wondered how many were in the same boat – oh, great, more wedding games…
I would love to attend yours and Sams wedding. ''Samantha, do you take Slimewater to be your awful wedded husband?'' ''Noooooooooooooorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr'' Posted by hhyftrftdr
yeesh, lotsa lolz but no emojis, skypoker forum probs obv.
wuz you still sexting the missus, or are you a tweep or prefer facetime instead? blech! what you use: oxazole in a Paczki? and why? didn't you like the shooties she was wearing while twerking for you in a onesie? or was her cakehole too loud, eew? or maybe you just didn't see eye to eye on the old devo issue. must be a bit of a schitz eh!
at least i guess you've no-one to complain if your tuneage is shizzle turned up loud.
anyways forget cash with the newbs, you podiumed recently? pretty dench if you have.
ridic thread bezzy, thanx yeesh, lotsa lolz but no emojis, skypoker forum probs obv. wuz you still sexting the missus, or are you a tweep or prefer facetime instead? blech! what you use: oxazole in a Paczki? and why? didn't you like the shooties she was wearing while twerking for you in a onesie? or was her cakehole too loud, eew? or maybe you just didn't see eye to eye on the old devo issue. must be a bit of a schitz eh! at least i guess you've no-one to complain if your tuneage is shizzle turned up loud. anyways forget cash with the newbs, you podiumed recently? pretty dench if you have. #hashtag #checkbox Posted by GELDY
Some of you will remember the charity 24 hour pokerthon that Larson7 and I did back in December 2013. This morning - 18 months after we did it - I got an email saying someone had donated £40, bringing the total to £1,345 for Cancer Research UK.
-- if you want to go check it out. The donation is listed to visitors as 'Anonymous' but as the owner of the page I can see the person's name.
If this is you, thank you very much - better late than never and all that jazz - although a quick Google search (I'm quite good at those...) has me thinking this person probably doesn't play on Sky, you know, being a big name live player an' all...
Anyway, if you missed it first time round and want to throw some money at it, thanks in advance.
I did suggest to Larson7 that we do it again, this time for 36 hours, but he told me what I could go and do with that idea.
That is an immense effort between the two of you, very well played.
I'm sure there are other degenerates knocking around on here that would be willing to have a run at topping the 24 hour mark and raising more. With it's current popularity I'm sure a micro PLO8 cash table could be kept running for the cause
Comments
I was at a wedding on the weekend. It was the first one I had been to since I came out the other side of my own marriage, and I guess they can be pretty brutal places to be, surrounded by all that love and promise… when all you really want to do is run up to the pair of them, grab them by the shoulders, and tell them to run away screaming in opposite directions, before it descends into this – from the greatest rom-com ever made, When Harry Met Sally:
Right now everything is great, everyone is happy, everyone is in love and that is wonderful! But you gotta know that sooner or later you’re gonna be screaming at each other about who’s gonna get this dish. This eight dollar dish will cost you a thousand dollars in phone calls to the legal firm of That’s Mine, This Is Yours…
…Do me a favour, for your own good, put your name in your books right now before they get mixed up and you won’t know whose is whose. ‘Cause someday, believe it or not, you’ll go 15 rounds over who’s gonna get this coffee table.
And – regional language aside – that’s, unfortunately, a fairly accurate depiction of how these things sometimes end up. But you set all that bitterness and sorrow aside for a few hours – well, you try to – and you eat your chicken and dance to Stealers Wheel… again.
I wrote in the wedding card:
The average length of marriages in the UK is 11.3 years. Mine didn’t last that long. Good luck with yours. Lots of love, Brian.
It masqueraded as tongue in cheek, but I’m not even sure the smiley face at the end of the sentence helped me dig my way out of that one. I know them both so hopefully they saw and appreciated the black humour.
I looked around the room and wondered how many were in the same boat – oh, great, more wedding games…
Sigh.
Too soon?
''Samantha, do you take Slimewater to be your lawful wedded husband?''
''Noooooooooooooorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr''
Some of you will remember the charity 24 hour pokerthon that Larson7 and I did back in December 2013. This morning - 18 months after we did it - I got an email saying someone had donated £40, bringing the total to £1,345 for Cancer Research UK.
The page is still available here --
https://www.justgiving.com/pokerthon/
-- if you want to go check it out. The donation is listed to visitors as 'Anonymous' but as the owner of the page I can see the person's name.
If this is you, thank you very much - better late than never and all that jazz - although a quick Google search (I'm quite good at those...) has me thinking this person probably doesn't play on Sky, you know, being a big name live player an' all...
Anyway, if you missed it first time round and want to throw some money at it, thanks in advance.
I did suggest to Larson7 that we do it again, this time for 36 hours, but he told me what I could go and do with that idea.
Sigh.
I'm sure there are other degenerates knocking around on here that would be willing to have a run at topping the 24 hour mark and raising more. With it's current popularity I'm sure a micro PLO8 cash table could be kept running for the cause