- find and execute lucrative writing work - I've been offered lucrative writing work. I've executed some of it. It's probably one of the least enjoyable writing projects I've ever done. This is strangely (?) galvanising.
- have at least one tennis lesson - not so far.
- cut down smoking - nope, I've cut up, if anything. But I have a plan.
- stop having unprotected sex with strangers - yep, so far.
A bit of a mixed bag, then. And by "A bit of a mixed bag, then" I actually mean, "The above is a bit of a disaster that I can barely look at, then." Still, plenty of room for improvement. Peace out.
Lucrative work has been found and executed, press ups have been done, books have been read and I have a tennis lesson booked in for tomorrow.
And yet.
And yet I'm struggling with the poker bit. I say struggling but it's not even really that - over the last few weeks (and it's probably been building over the last few months, if not years) I'm becoming increasingly ambivalent where poker is concerned.
I used to think about poker a ton - I hardly think about it all any more. I used to play as much as I could - now I look for reasons not to play or cut sessions short or just drift off and don't even realise I'm playing. I used to study a fair bit - now I have little to no interest in studying. And so on and so forth.
Anyone else had or get this? If so how have you coped? Or have you decided not to cope and just kind of given up playing poker? I'm not sure why I'm so jaded - I've had four (quite big) losing live sessions in a row, online was bleak bleak bleak from December-March and perhaps I don't have the psychological fortitude to bounce back because, perhaps, I'm not really that bothered about it.
Apologies - wasn't planning on being so downbeat. Perhaps I'll set myself a new challenge. 4nl to 2/5 live by December sounds ridiculous but then again so does £17.15 to Priority and nit may just give me the motivation to get studying and interested in the game again.
Don't really have any words of advice but its a +1 about being pretty meh (I assume this is what ambivalent means ) towards poker these days.
I used to play loads and whenever possible, but in the last 18/24 months I've really cut down to the point that I can happily go weeks without loading up a few tables.
I would usually suggest a change of scenery like playing live might give you some mojo back but thats had the reverse effect on you it seems, and understandably so. Have a dabble with more MTTs over cash? Or, god forbid, go and join the retirement folks at the 4 card game?!
Whatever you do, don't stop writing please. And be thankful you're not one of the sad ones who's evenings revolve around poker for 365 nights a year!
Many thanks for the replies, gents, I've been mulling them over for the last day or two. It's good to know I'm not alone - the thing is I can't tell if I'm demoralised, bored, somewhere between the two, or if it's something else altogether.
A break/switching more to MTTs both seem good shouts. As does giving that odd four card game a whirl. I've had somewhere around 150-200 poker columns published and having those weekly 650 words or so to fill up meant that I was always on the hunt for trying out or learning about new stuff.
Since that's gone my focus has wandered. Writing a diary for (mainly) November really helped to stop it wandering.
So, a new diary and new bankroll challenge for June. Not sure what it's going to be but hopefully it'll be sufficiently harebrained and ambitious. And if I'm not feeling up for it? Well, in the words of George Costanza (that have been rattling around in my mind for the last few days), "You're not in the mood? Well, you get in the mood!"
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