“I voted Remain, not just for political reasons but because my mum’s moved to Spain and I want her to stay there.”
Why do we need any colour passport? We should just be able to shout, “British! Less of your nonsense!” and stroll straight through.
This is like when Geri Halliwell overestimated her viability as a solo artist and left the Spice Girls
“A lot of Leave voters say ‘Stop complaining, it’s democracy!’ Well democracy doesn’t always work. If five people democratically elect to take your iPhone, it’s a mugging.”
Bond films to last 30% longer with scenes of his passport being more heavily scrutinised between exotic European locales
“Roy Hodgson has just been made Prime Minister. He has a fantastic record of leaving Europe swiftly.”
I'm not giving up my seat to the elderly anymore. Eye for an eye.
“Brexit was like the UK got drunk and accidentally unfriended Europe on Facebook.”
“I was surprised when people kept voting to keep Wagner on X Factor, and ever since then it’s never surprised me, our ability to mess up a vote.”
How did the Brexit chicken cross the road? "I never said there was a road. Or a chicken".
After #brexit, when rapper 50 cent performs in GBR he'll appear as 10.000 pounds.
“How many Brexiters does it take to change a lightbulb? Whoa, whoa, whoa. I didn’t say there was a lightbulb.”
“A Brexit deal could take ten years. That’s not fair. Most of the people who voted for it could be dead by then.” – Gary Lineker
“The young people are surprised that the older people have done them over. All those year’s they spent hanging outside Tesco Metro, drinking, smoking, intimidating them… these old people have just been waiting for their chance. And yesterday they thought ‘let’s see how you like listening to your drum ‘n’ bass on your phone when we’re out of the EU, you p****!”
Meanwhile India is just blown away that you can get Britain to leave by voting
I know it's not very "politically correct" to say it out loud but in the wasteland of ruined Britain I am going to hunt and eat old people
“Let’s get one thing clear, personally I in no way believe that all those who voted for Brexit are racist or stupid. People voted based on the information (albeit limited and misleading) put before them by politicians. We could just as easily have arrived at a result by counting belly buttons. Innies Vs Outies. Turns out we are a nation of outies.”
“Michael Gove’s right, we don’t need expert analysis. Especially now, they’re all saying we’re screwed.”
Hello, I am from Britain, you know, the one that got tricked by a bus
Comments
They have to go by the book .
An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman walk into a bar.
The Englishman wanted to go so they all had to leave. #Brexitjokes
Why do we need any colour passport? We should just be able to shout, “British! Less of your nonsense!” and stroll straight through.
This is like when Geri Halliwell overestimated her viability as a solo artist and left the Spice Girls
“A lot of Leave voters say ‘Stop complaining, it’s democracy!’ Well democracy doesn’t always work. If five people democratically elect to take your iPhone, it’s a mugging.”
Bond films to last 30% longer with scenes of his passport being more heavily scrutinised between exotic European locales
“Roy Hodgson has just been made Prime Minister. He has a fantastic record of leaving Europe swiftly.”
I'm not giving up my seat to the elderly anymore. Eye for an eye.
“Brexit was like the UK got drunk and accidentally unfriended Europe on Facebook.”
“I was surprised when people kept voting to keep Wagner on X Factor, and ever since then it’s never surprised me, our ability to mess up a vote.”
How did the Brexit chicken cross the road?
"I never said there was a road. Or a chicken".
After #brexit, when rapper 50 cent performs in GBR he'll appear as 10.000 pounds.
“How many Brexiters does it take to change a lightbulb? Whoa, whoa, whoa. I didn’t say there was a lightbulb.”
“A Brexit deal could take ten years. That’s not fair. Most of the people who voted for it could be dead by then.” – Gary Lineker
“The young people are surprised that the older people have done them over. All those year’s they spent hanging outside Tesco Metro, drinking, smoking, intimidating them… these old people have just been waiting for their chance. And yesterday they thought ‘let’s see how you like listening to your drum ‘n’ bass on your phone when we’re out of the EU, you p****!”
Meanwhile India is just blown away that you can get Britain to leave by voting
I know it's not very "politically correct" to say it out loud but in the wasteland of ruined Britain I am going to hunt and eat old people
“Let’s get one thing clear, personally I in no way believe that all those who voted for Brexit are racist or stupid. People voted based on the information (albeit limited and misleading) put before them by politicians. We could just as easily have arrived at a result by counting belly buttons. Innies Vs Outies. Turns out we are a nation of outies.”
“Michael Gove’s right, we don’t need expert analysis. Especially now, they’re all saying we’re screwed.”
Hello, I am from Britain, you know, the one that got tricked by a bus
Because by the time it reaches it's last straw , there's nothing left .
Because they literally make up everything .
Because they have cold feet.
And the barman said " hey get out , we don't want your type in here"
Robocrop
Diddly squats
Look for the fresh prints.
An irrelephant
Knock Knock .
Whos there ?
Broken pencil
Broken pencil who?
Oh never mind , it's pointless
Ones a large heavy animal and the other's a little lighter .
Because not all relationships work out
Cashew
Shellfies
I'm giving up using Microsoft spreadsheets between Ash Wednesday and Easter Sunday. It's going to be Excellent.