5 people on a plane about to crash but only 4 parachutes available...Boris Johnson, Nicola Sturgeon, Donald Trump, The pope and a 10 year old boy
Bojo rushes forward and says “ I’ve got to save the UK from Covid and get us out of Europe”, picks up a parachute and jumps out
Nicola Sturgeon comes forward and says “ I’ve got to save the Scotland from Boris and keep us in Europe”, picks up a parachute and jumps out
The Donald pushes the pope and the boy over screaming “ I’ve got to save the USA from Chinaflu and get myself re-elected as I’m the most intelligent man in America”, picks up a parachute, laughs hysterically and jumps out
The pope says “ My child, I’m an old man and leader of the Catholic faith but you must take the last parachute and I will trust in god....”
The 10year old says “ Don’t worry your grace.There are still 2 parachutes... The leader of the free world and the USA’s most Intelligent man took my school rucksack.....”
In court, the trucking company's fancy, hot-shot lawyer was questioning Clyde. "Didn't you say, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine'?" asked the lawyer. Clyde replied, "Well, I'll tell you what happened. I had just loaded my favorite cow, Bessie, into the—"
"I didn't ask for any details," the lawyer interrupted. "Just answer the question, please. Did you or did you not say, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine'?" Clyde said, "Well, I had just got Bessie into the trailer behind the tractor, and I was driving down the road when—"
The lawyer interrupted again. "Your Honour, I am trying to establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the Highway Patrolman he was fine. Now, several weeks later, he is trying to sue my client. I believe he's a fraud. Please instruct him to simply answer the question."
By this time, the Judge was fairly interested in Clyde’s response.
"I’d like to hear what he has to say about his cow, Bessie," the Judge said.
Clyde thanked the Judge and continued:
"Well, as I was saying, I had just loaded Bessie—my favourite cow—into the trailer and was driving her down the highway, when this huge semi-truck and trailer ran a stop sign and smacked my John Deere tractor right in the side. I was thrown into one ditch, and Bessie was thrown into the other. I was hurt real bad and didn’t want to move. "But I could hear ol’ Bessie moaning and groaning. I knew she was in terrible shape just by her sounds.
"Shortly after the accident, a Highway Patrolman arrived on the scene. He heard Bessie moaning and went over to check on her. After taking one look at her condition, he pulled out his gun and shot her between the eyes.
"Then he walked across the road, gun still in hand, looked down at me, and said: 'How are you feeling?'
"Now tell me, Your Honour... if you were lying in a ditch, in pain and full of grief from losing your favourite cow, having just watched a policeman shoot her for moaning - what would you say?"
Comments
This should be reworked, take out reeves and insert "who the f**k is donald trump" and then send it out over the socials !
Fast forward to 2025 ?
A farmer named Clyde had a tractor accident.
In court, the trucking company's fancy, hot-shot lawyer was questioning Clyde.
"Didn't you say, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine'?" asked the lawyer.
Clyde replied, "Well, I'll tell you what happened. I had just loaded my favorite cow, Bessie, into the—"
"I didn't ask for any details," the lawyer interrupted. "Just answer the question, please. Did you or did you not say, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine'?"
Clyde said, "Well, I had just got Bessie into the trailer behind the tractor, and I was driving down the road when—"
The lawyer interrupted again. "Your Honour, I am trying to establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the Highway Patrolman he was fine. Now, several weeks later, he is trying to sue my client. I believe he's a fraud. Please instruct him to simply answer the question."
By this time, the Judge was fairly interested in Clyde’s response.
"I’d like to hear what he has to say about his cow, Bessie," the Judge said.
Clyde thanked the Judge and continued:
"Well, as I was saying, I had just loaded Bessie—my favourite cow—into the trailer and was driving her down the highway, when this huge semi-truck and trailer ran a stop sign and smacked my John Deere tractor right in the side. I was thrown into one ditch, and Bessie was thrown into the other. I was hurt real bad and didn’t want to move.
"But I could hear ol’ Bessie moaning and groaning. I knew she was in terrible shape just by her sounds.
"Shortly after the accident, a Highway Patrolman arrived on the scene. He heard Bessie moaning and went over to check on her. After taking one look at her condition, he pulled out his gun and shot her between the eyes.
"Then he walked across the road, gun still in hand, looked down at me, and said: 'How are you feeling?'
"Now tell me, Your Honour... if you were lying in a ditch, in pain and full of grief from losing your favourite cow, having just watched a policeman shoot her for moaning - what would you say?"