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A mixed few days.
Started well on Monday, sons girl goes into hospital to have a wee girl goin to be a grandpa, play a wee bit of poker qualify for Sunday major, yay.
Tuesday: am a grandpa, lovely wee lassie, all's good, qualify for Sunday major again ( get cash equivalent ), yay.
Wednesday: were watchin one of the boy's dogs ( a Chihuahua ) wife is scared to take it for a walk because of the number of dogs in our area, so reluctantly I decide to go out with her and kill two birds with one stone will get a carry oot to wet the weans heid.
So were walkin through the scheme, the wife's holdin the lead with the wee dug I see this massive dog,( a cross between a bull mastif and a boxer ) sittin in a garden with its owner ( a 4ft 5-inch auld woman ) next minute it jumps the fence bounding towards us, wife **** herself I grab the wee dog a lift it up above ma heid, next minute this big dog has got me pinned against a fence, the wives still holdin the lead which is now round ma neck strangling me and the wee dug and don't know who was squealing the most the wife or the wee dug, the auld woman shoutin " it's all right it won't touch the dug " the dug? it's tryin to rip ma heid aff,
eventually, she gets it under control and we walk away, the wee dugs still panicking so I bend down to clap it the wife let's go of the lead, whoosh it's off like a bat oota ****, I try to run after it, ma hearts goin 10 to the dozen, doon ah go like a sack of tatties ( ah wearin ma steel toe cappers and they're like deep see divin boots ) she runs by me shoutin " I need to catch the dug " am lyin on the road cut knee, stones embedded in ma hands, ribs are achin ( and it's not with laughin ) this **** walks up to me, just stares, if I could have got up he would have got a swift kick to the baws,
anyway, after about ten minutes we manage to catch the dug, decide it would be better if we just went home so we all head home tails between oor legs, ma ribs are achin decide to batter doon the painkillers and try and get comfy.
And just to round of the day I forget I had 5 trades goin, 4 lost, cost me a few quid and the Gers let Celtic win the league, as the song says "two outa three ain't bad ".
By the way, did I say I was a GRANDPA ?.
Tuesday: am a grandpa, lovely wee lassie, all's good, qualify for Sunday major again ( get cash equivalent ), yay.
Wednesday: were watchin one of the boy's dogs ( a Chihuahua ) wife is scared to take it for a walk because of the number of dogs in our area, so reluctantly I decide to go out with her and kill two birds with one stone will get a carry oot to wet the weans heid.
So were walkin through the scheme, the wife's holdin the lead with the wee dug I see this massive dog,( a cross between a bull mastif and a boxer ) sittin in a garden with its owner ( a 4ft 5-inch auld woman ) next minute it jumps the fence bounding towards us, wife **** herself I grab the wee dog a lift it up above ma heid, next minute this big dog has got me pinned against a fence, the wives still holdin the lead which is now round ma neck strangling me and the wee dug and don't know who was squealing the most the wife or the wee dug, the auld woman shoutin " it's all right it won't touch the dug " the dug? it's tryin to rip ma heid aff,
eventually, she gets it under control and we walk away, the wee dugs still panicking so I bend down to clap it the wife let's go of the lead, whoosh it's off like a bat oota ****, I try to run after it, ma hearts goin 10 to the dozen, doon ah go like a sack of tatties ( ah wearin ma steel toe cappers and they're like deep see divin boots ) she runs by me shoutin " I need to catch the dug " am lyin on the road cut knee, stones embedded in ma hands, ribs are achin ( and it's not with laughin ) this **** walks up to me, just stares, if I could have got up he would have got a swift kick to the baws,
anyway, after about ten minutes we manage to catch the dug, decide it would be better if we just went home so we all head home tails between oor legs, ma ribs are achin decide to batter doon the painkillers and try and get comfy.
And just to round of the day I forget I had 5 trades goin, 4 lost, cost me a few quid and the Gers let Celtic win the league, as the song says "two outa three ain't bad ".
By the way, did I say I was a GRANDPA ?.
Comments
Incred stuff.
Oh, & congratulations.
p.s. I read and understood almost all of that, does that make me bilingual?
I also understood most of it. In fact nearly all of it. Which secretly terrifies me
I'm not sure If i was supposed to, but I did laugh.
First timer?
Makes sense now that I know you’re dead old
Lovely news mate!