Sorry it's a long one, but I found it funny (but then I'm a geek).
The Borg versus Bill Gates
A "Star Trek Lost Episodes" transcript, about an encoutering with the BORG:
Picard: Mr. LaForge, have you had any success with your attempts at finding a weakness in the Borg? And Mr. Data, have you been able to access their command pathways?
Geordi: Yes, Captain. In fact, we found the answer by searching through our archives on late Twentieth-century computing technology.
Geordi presses a key, and a logo appears on the computer screen.
Riker [looks puzzled]: What the he ll is 'Microsoft'?
Data [turns around to answer]: Allow me to explain. We will send this program, for some reason called 'Windows', through the Borg command pathways. Once inside their root command unit, it will begin consumingsystem resources at an unstoppable rate.
Picard: But the Borg have the ability to adapt. Won't they alter their processing systems to increase their storage capacity?
Data: Yes, Captain. But when 'Windows' detects this, it creates a new version of itself known as an 'upgrade'. The use of resources increases exponentially with each iteration. The Borg will not be able to adapt quickly enough. Eventually all of their processing ability will be taken over and none will be available for their normal operational functions.
Picard: Excellent work. This is even better than that 'unsolvable geometric shape' idea.
.. . . 15 Minutes Later . . .
Data: Captain, We have successfully installed the 'Windows' in the command unit and as expected it immediately consumed 85% of all resources. We however have not received any confirmation of the expected 'upgrade'.
Geordi: Our scanners have picked up an increase in Borg storage and CPU capacity to compensate, but we still have no indication of an 'upgrade' to compensate for their increase.
Picard: Data, scan the history banks again and determine if their is something we have missed.
Data: Sir, I believe there is a reason for the failure in the 'upgrade'. Appearently the Borg have circumvented that part of the plan by not sending in their registration cards.
Riker: Captain we have no choice. Requesting permission to begin emergency escape sequence 3F . . .
Geordi [excited]: Wait, Captain I just detected their CPU capacity has suddenly dropped to 0%!
Picard: Data, what do your scanners show?
Data: Appearently the Borg have found the internal 'Windows' module named 'Solitaire' and it has used up all the CPU capacity.
Picard: Let's wait and see how long this 'solitaire' can reduce their functionality.
.. . . Two Hours Pass . . .
Riker: Geordi what's the status on the Borg?
Geordi: As expected the Borg are attempting to re-engineer to compensate for increased CPU and storage demands, but each time they successfully increase resources I have set up our closest deep space monitor beacon to transmit more 'windows' modules from something called the 'Microsoft fun-pack'.
Picard: How much time will that buy us?
Data: Current Borg solution rates allow me to predicate an interest time span of 6 more hours.
Geordi: Captain, another vessel has entered our sector.
Picard: Identify!
Data: It appears to have markings very similar to the 'Microsoft' logo ...
Over the speakers: THIS IS ADMIRAL BILL GATES OF THE MICROSOFT FLAGSHIP MONOPOLY. WE HAVE POSITIVE CONFIRMATION OF UNREGISTERED SOFTWARE IN THIS SECTOR. SURRENDER ALL ASSETS AND WE CAN AVOID ANY TROUBLE. YOU HAVE 10 SECONDS!
Data: The alien ship has just opened its forward hatches and released thousands of humanoid shaped objects.
Picard: Magnify forward viewer on the alien craft.
Riker: Good God captain! Those are humans floating straight toward the Borg ship with no life support suits ! How can they survive the tortures of deep space?!
Data: I don't believe that those are humans, Sir. If you will look closer I believe you will see that they are carrying something recognized by twenty-first century man as doe skin leather briefcases, and wearing Armani suits.
Riker and Picard together [horrified]: Lawyers!!!
Geordi: It can't be. All the Lawyers were rounded up and sent hurtling into the sun in 2017 during the Great Awakening.
Data: True, but appearently some must have survived.
Riker: They have surrounded the Borg ship and are covering it with all types of papers.
Data: I believe that is known in ancient venacular as 'red tape' it often proves fatal.
Riker: They're tearing the Borg to pieces!
Picard: Turn off the monitors. I can't stand to watch, not even the Borg deserve that.
Did you ever wonder why you never see dead penguins on the ice in Antarctica ? Ever wonder where they go? Wonder no more. It is a known fact that the penguin is a very ritualistic bird which lives an extremely ordered and complex life.
The penguins have a very strong community bond. They are very committed to their family and will mate for life. They also maintain a form of compassionate contact with their offspring throughout its life.
If a penguin is found dead on the ice surface, other members of the family and social circle have been known to dig holes in the ice, using their vestigial wings and beaks, until the hole is deep enough for the dead bird to be rolled into and buried.
The male penguins then gather in a circle around the freshly dug grave and sing.......
Two dwarfs Two dwarfs go into a bar, where they pick up two 'working girls' and take them to their separate hotel rooms.
The first dwarf, however, is unable to get an erec tion. His depression is made worse by the fact that, from the next room, he hears his friend shouting out cries of 'Here I come again! ONE, TWO, THREE .... UGH!' Here I come again! ONE, TWO, THREE.... UGH!' Here I come again! ONE, TWO, THREE ... UGH!' ... ALL NIGHT LONG.
In the morning, the second dwarf asks the first, 'How did it go?' The first mutters, 'It was Embarrassing.. I just couldn't get an erec tion.'
The second dwarf shook his head. 'You think that's embarrassing?
In my Life...... I was going to write a blog or start a new thread but felt maybe this should not be on the front page. Over the last few months we have seen a lot of changes here on Skypoker in regard to players coming and going ..the change in the structure of the 9 00 live shows and for sure there will be many others in the coming months. The thing about a forum is that it gives people the freedom to air their own personal views which is good from the point of chat and helping each other, and in some cases .... romance )
What I feel is unfair is that many players who leave the site don't realise what it was that has started them on a down swing and so find an excuse to blame others or in the main the poker site itself. What People must understand and don't, is that it has nothing to do with 'swings' 'variance' or 'tilt' that has them blaming others for their losses ...the truth is it's the player them self..the psychology of whats going on in their own personal life away from the computer or live poker tables... We all have problems as we go through life, moving and marriage / divorce or business starting or failing , jobs looking a bit dodgy any amount of problems in our lives can be happening and all the time we think our game will remain the same....it doesn't !! This is the thing of it , Ultimately our life affects our decisions in the way we play, we might not think so but this is where 'patience 'can be affected, and so lead to bad decisions .. So, for all the players who post on the forum blaming the poker site for their loses ...think ....was it really someone else's fault ..
Strange , a few minutes ago was just thinking the following .After a month of running cold and another of going nowhere , i actually think my game has improved . Im rather proud of myself . And really gratefull to my friends who helped me do so . And yes , how i feel and think affects my game. I dont blame sky or others , i just blame rich.
Strange , a few minutes ago was just thinking the following .After a month of running cold and another of going nowhere , i actually think my game has improved . Im rather proud of myself . And really gratefull to my friends who helped me do so . And yes , how i feel and think affects my game. I dont blame sky or others , i just blame rich. Posted by PILLOWMAN
I didn't like to say that.
My cat has got his official RAF wings badge he's flown across the room so many times.
In Response to Re: Bennydip2 (X Files) "The Truth Is Out There"? : I didn't like to say that. My cat has got his official RAF wings badge he's flown across the room so many times. Posted by elsadog
My favourite joke of the moment....................
A drunk stumbles across a Baptismal service on a Sunday afternoon down by the river. He proceeds to stumble down into the water and stands next to the Minister.
The Minister turns, notices the old drunk and says, "Mister, are you ready to find Jesus?"
The drunk looks back and says, "Yes sir, I am."
The Minister then dunks the fellow under the water and pulls him right back up.
"Have you found Jesus?" the Minister asked.
"No, I didn't!" said the drunk.
The Minister then dunks him under for a quite a bit longer, brings him up and says, "Now brother, have you found Jesus?"
"No, I did not!" said the drunk again.
Disgusted, the Minister holds the man under for at least 30 seconds this time, brings him up and demands, "For the grace of God, have you found Jesus yet?!!!??"
The old drunk wipes his eyes and pleads, "Are you sure this is where he fell in?"
Wouldn't it be nice to travel back in time to the year ....1500 in England
They used to use urine to tan animal skins, so families used to all pee in a pot & then once a day it was taken & sold to the tannery.......if you had to do this to survive you were "P iss Poor" But worse than that were the really poor folk who couldn't even afford to buy a pot........... they "didnt have a pot to p iss in" and were the lowest of the low.
Baths consisted of a big tub filled with hot water. The man of the house had the privilege of the nice clean water, then all the other sons and men, then the women and finally the children. Last of all the babies. By then the water was so dirty you could actually lose someone in it. Hence the saying, "Don't throw the baby out with the Bath water!"
England is old and small and the local folks started running out of places to bury people. So they would dig up coffins and would take the bones to a bone-house, and reuse the grave. When reopening these coffins, 1 out of 25 coffins were found to have scratch marks on the inside and they realized they had been burying people alive. So they would tie a string on the wrist of the corpse, lead it through the coffin and up through the ground and tie it to a bell. Someone would have to sit out in the graveyard all night (the graveyard shift.) to listen for the bell; thus, someone could be, 'saved by the bell' or was considered, 'a dead ringer'........ )
And that's the truth...Now, whoever said History was boring !
Well good start .. came 2nd in the freeroll at 5 00, Well played to 'Sara 36DD" (what a name that is !!) she won it and played very very well.....To be honest it was a class line up for a freeroll, some very good play by very good players !! So with 1 game down and 2 to play, it's onwards and upwards to the 9 00 Open .. i need to better today's 2nd so ...come on ... large whisky please ?? 'im gonna watch x factor the im ready !!
Well good start .. came 2nd in the freeroll at 5 00, Well played to 'Sara 36DD" (what a name that is !!) she won it and played very very well.....To be honest it was a class line up for a freeroll, some very good play by very good players !! So with 1 game down and 2 to play, it's onwards and upwards to the 9 00 Open .. i need to better today's 2nd so ...come on ... large whisky please ?? 'im gonna watch x factor the im ready !! here we go , here we go ..... here we gooooo ! Posted by bennydip2
Comments
It's so unfair.
There will be plenty of goals in this game .....me thinks !!
The Borg versus Bill Gates
A "Star Trek Lost Episodes" transcript, about an encoutering with the BORG:
Picard: Mr. LaForge, have you had any success with your attempts at finding a weakness in the Borg?
And Mr. Data, have you been able to access their command pathways?
Geordi: Yes, Captain. In fact, we found the answer by searching through our archives on late Twentieth-century computing technology.
Geordi presses a key, and a logo appears on the computer screen.
Riker [looks puzzled]: What the he ll is 'Microsoft'?
Data [turns around to answer]: Allow me to explain. We will send this program, for some reason called 'Windows', through the Borg command pathways.
Once inside their root command unit, it will begin consumingsystem resources at an unstoppable rate.
Picard: But the Borg have the ability to adapt. Won't they alter their processing systems to increase their storage capacity?
Data: Yes, Captain. But when 'Windows' detects this, it creates a new version of itself known as an 'upgrade'. The use of resources increases exponentially with each iteration. The Borg will not be able to adapt quickly enough. Eventually all of their processing ability will be taken over and none will be available for their normal operational functions.
Picard: Excellent work. This is even better than that 'unsolvable geometric shape' idea.
.. . . 15 Minutes Later . . .
Data: Captain, We have successfully installed the 'Windows' in the command unit and as expected it immediately consumed 85% of all resources.
We however have not received any confirmation of the expected 'upgrade'.
Geordi: Our scanners have picked up an increase in Borg storage and CPU capacity to compensate, but we still have no indication of an 'upgrade' to compensate for their increase.
Picard: Data, scan the history banks again and determine if their is something we have missed.
Data: Sir, I believe there is a reason for the failure in the 'upgrade'.
Appearently the Borg have circumvented that part of the plan by not sending in their registration cards.
Riker: Captain we have no choice. Requesting permission to begin emergency escape sequence 3F . . .
Geordi [excited]: Wait, Captain I just detected their CPU capacity has suddenly dropped to 0%!
Picard: Data, what do your scanners show?
Data: Appearently the Borg have found the internal 'Windows' module named 'Solitaire' and it has used up all the CPU capacity.
Picard: Let's wait and see how long this 'solitaire' can reduce their functionality.
.. . . Two Hours Pass . . .
Riker: Geordi what's the status on the Borg?
Geordi: As expected the Borg are attempting to re-engineer to compensate for increased CPU and storage demands, but each time they successfully increase resources I have set up our closest deep space monitor beacon to transmit more 'windows' modules from something called the 'Microsoft fun-pack'.
Picard: How much time will that buy us?
Data: Current Borg solution rates allow me to predicate an interest time span of 6 more hours.
Geordi: Captain, another vessel has entered our sector.
Picard: Identify!
Data: It appears to have markings very similar to the 'Microsoft' logo ...
Over the speakers: THIS IS ADMIRAL BILL GATES OF THE MICROSOFT FLAGSHIP MONOPOLY. WE HAVE POSITIVE CONFIRMATION OF UNREGISTERED SOFTWARE IN THIS SECTOR. SURRENDER ALL ASSETS AND WE CAN AVOID ANY TROUBLE. YOU HAVE 10 SECONDS!
Data: The alien ship has just opened its forward hatches and released thousands of humanoid shaped objects.
Picard: Magnify forward viewer on the alien craft.
Riker: Good God captain! Those are humans floating straight toward the Borg ship with no life support suits ! How can they survive the tortures of deep space?!
Data: I don't believe that those are humans, Sir. If you will look closer I believe you will see that they are carrying something recognized by twenty-first century man as doe skin leather briefcases, and wearing Armani suits.
Riker and Picard together [horrified]: Lawyers!!!
Geordi: It can't be. All the Lawyers were rounded up and sent hurtling into the sun in 2017 during the Great Awakening.
Data: True, but appearently some must have survived.
Riker: They have surrounded the Borg ship and are covering it with all types of papers.
Data: I believe that is known in ancient venacular as 'red tape' it often proves fatal.
Riker: They're tearing the Borg to pieces!
Picard: Turn off the monitors. I can't stand to watch, not even the Borg deserve that.It's Life Jim but not as we know it !
Did you ever wonder why you never see dead penguins
on the ice in Antarctica ? Ever wonder where they go?
Wonder no more.
It is a known fact that the penguin is a very ritualistic bird which lives an extremely ordered and complex life.
The penguins have a very strong community bond.
They are very committed to their family and will mate for life. They also maintain a form of compassionate contact with their offspring throughout its life.
If a penguin is found dead on the ice surface, other members of the family and social circle have been known to dig holes in the ice, using their vestigial wings and beaks, until the hole is deep enough for the dead bird to
be rolled into and buried.
The male penguins then gather in a circle
around the freshly dug grave and sing.......
"freeze a jolly good fellow"
Oh you were S O e a s y !!!
One for TK that one!
Two dwarfs
Two dwarfs go into a bar, where they pick up two 'working girls' and take them to their separate hotel rooms.
The first dwarf, however, is unable to get an erec tion. His depression is made worse by the fact that, from the next room, he hears his friend shouting out cries of 'Here I come again! ONE, TWO, THREE .... UGH!' Here I come again! ONE, TWO, THREE.... UGH!' Here I come again! ONE, TWO, THREE ... UGH!' ... ALL NIGHT LONG.
In the morning, the second dwarf asks the first, 'How did it go?' The first mutters, 'It was
Embarrassing.. I just couldn't get an erec tion.'
The second dwarf shook his head. 'You think that's embarrassing?
I couldn't get on the bed.' !!!
In my Life......
)
I was going to write a blog or start a new thread but felt maybe this should not be on the front page.
Over the last few months we have seen a lot of changes here on Skypoker in regard to players coming and going ..the change in the structure of the 9 00 live shows and for sure there will be many others in the coming months.
The thing about a forum is that it gives people the freedom to air their own personal views which is good from the point of chat and helping each other, and in some cases .... romance
What I feel is unfair is that many players who leave the site don't realise what it was that has started them on a down swing and so find an excuse to blame others or in the main the poker site itself.
What People must understand and don't, is that it has nothing to do with 'swings' 'variance' or 'tilt' that has them blaming others for their losses ...the truth is it's the player them self..the psychology of whats going on in their own personal life away from the computer or live poker tables...
We all have problems as we go through life, moving and marriage / divorce or business starting or failing , jobs looking a bit dodgy any amount of problems in our lives can be happening and all the time we think our game will remain the same....it doesn't !!
This is the thing of it ,
Ultimately our life affects our decisions in the way we play, we might not think so but this is where 'patience 'can be affected, and so lead to bad decisions ..
So, for all the players who post on the forum blaming the poker site for their loses ...think ....was it really someone else's fault ..
glk /> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o2d2llB4oIQ
benny
Strange , a few minutes ago was just thinking the following .After a month of running cold and another of going nowhere , i actually think my game has improved . Im rather proud of myself . And really gratefull to my friends who helped me do so . And yes , how i feel and think affects my game. I dont blame sky or others , i just blame rich.
My cat has got his official RAF wings badge he's flown across the room so many times.
My favourite joke of the moment....................
A drunk stumbles across a Baptismal service on a Sunday afternoon
down by the river. He proceeds to stumble down into the water and
stands next to the Minister.
The Minister turns, notices the old drunk and says, "Mister, are
you ready to find Jesus?"
The drunk looks back and says, "Yes sir, I am."
The Minister then dunks the fellow under the water and pulls him
right back up.
"Have you found Jesus?" the Minister asked.
"No, I didn't!" said the drunk.
The Minister then dunks him under for a quite a bit longer, brings
him up and says, "Now brother, have you found Jesus?"
"No, I did not!" said the drunk again.
Disgusted, the Minister holds the man under for at least 30
seconds this time, brings him up and demands, "For the grace of
God, have you found Jesus yet?!!!??"
The old drunk wipes his eyes and pleads, "Are you sure this is
where he fell in?"
Luv It ..... hahahhahha nice one !!
Wouldn't it be nice to travel back in time to the year ....1500 in England
They used to use urine to tan animal skins, so families used to all pee in a pot & then once a day it was taken & sold to the tannery.......if you had to do this to survive you were "P iss Poor"
But worse than that were the really poor folk who couldn't even afford to buy a pot...........
they "didnt have a pot to p iss in" and were the lowest of the low.
Baths consisted of a big tub filled with hot water. The man of the house had the privilege of the nice clean water, then all the other sons and men, then the women and finally the children. Last of all the babies. By then the water was so dirty you could actually lose someone in it. Hence the saying,
"Don't throw the baby out with the Bath water!"
England is old and small and the local folks started running out of places to bury people. So they would dig up coffins and would take the bones to a bone-house, and reuse the grave. When reopening these coffins, 1 out of 25 coffins were found to have scratch marks on the inside and they realized they had been burying people alive. So they would tie a string on the wrist of the corpse, lead it through the coffin and up through the ground and tie it to a bell. Someone would have to sit out in the graveyard all night (the graveyard shift.) to listen for the bell; thus, someone could be,
'saved by the bell' or was considered, 'a dead ringer'........
And that's the truth...Now, whoever said History was boring !
glk benny
Gonna win the free-roll at 5 00 ..moving on to the 9 00 Open .. win that as well
Then Sunday, i'm going in under the radar ...in disguise to play the 100 freeze-out at LUTON.G casino
I'll be wearing the T-shirt as mentioned in the ' Finian's Rainbow' Blog !!
I think we might participate in a small beverage so a good chance I'll win that as well !!
The new disguise as 'Rich' is slow with the Skypoker one ( lol ) will be ?
Steady !!
here we go , here we go ..... here we gooooo !
p.s. well done on 2nd!