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Life's A Flop...
Slipwater
Member Posts: 3,660
Hi. My name is Brian, I play on Sky Poker, and I haven’t won a flip for thirty-eight days…
That’s how my first meeting at Pokerholics Anonymous would begin for me; bleary-eyed, hair stuck to my brow, jonesing for a one-outer.
But I digress.
This is my 3000th post on the forum, and I figured there was no better way to celebrate that milestone than by kickstarting my own Poker Chat diary. It’s a bit of a no-brainer really: writing is my schtick, so I figured I’d put two things I love into a blender (one I do well; one not so) and see what happens. A bit like Amaretto and root beer… actually, no, maybe not like that.
Anyway… you won’t get in-depth chat from me about putting opponents on ranges, or three-bet shoving spots, or why I foolishly min-raised on the cash-bubble instead of pushing with AK when I had twelve bigs and the action had folded around to me in the small blind. No. There are others on here who can provide that kind of analysis much better than I can.
Ultimately, this will probably be more anecdotal than anything else – a sitting-by-the-campfire kind of thing. Trust me: it will be better for all concerned that way, so if that's your bag, stay and have a look around: enjoy the view and the nibbles. It's good to have you here. Having said that, I do have a goal in mind.
Starting up the Main/Mini Leaderboard last year reminded me that, well… I’ve never won a Main or Mini on Sky. I know, right? Hard to believe. I’ve hit a bunch of final tables but to date, 4th is my best score in each event, so – sticking with the threes – I’m giving myself 300 attempts and £3,000 to rectify that. The numbers are (mostly) arbitrary, but I like the synchronicity, so I’m sticking with them.
Now, I have a fairly Duck-like attitude to bankroll management – the finer details of which are about as foreign to me as the lambada – but I am confident this is a healthy starting stack that will hopefully see me through (at least some of) the lean periods. Of course, feel free to tell me I’m wrong: I’m sure some of you will…
I’ll play a few other MTTs throughout the evenings – depending on my social calendar and how many episodes of RuPaul’s Drag Race I have left to watch on Netflix – and although I don’t intend to play much cash, every once in a while the lure of stacking liamboi11 on the Mastercash tables will likely be too good a draw to fold. I’ll try to give an overview of all of my sessions here.
…and to make things a little more interesting for me (and potentially, expensive), if I go 30 consecutive days without a cash in either event, I will donate £30 to charity… and I’ll document this here too, you know, in one of those fancy Excel tables that I love so much and am so good at producing.
Suggestions for charities will be graciously accepted in this thread.
Should I manage to win both of these events in 300 attempts, the next challenge will be Liv Boeree’s phone number. I hear she is really into tall, dark, and handsome men with dreamy eyes you could drown in, a GSOH, a soft touch, long eyelashes, and a collection of colourful shirts.
My aim is to begin my 2015 campaign with the Main and Mini tomorrow (January 12th) and I'll take it from there.
So, for those with the three-second attention spans:
CLIFF NOTES
*£3,000 starting stack.
*Goals - 1 Main victory from 300 attempts; 1 Mini victory from 300 attempts.
*£30 charity donation for every 30 consecutive days without a cash.
Comments
Fully justified too.
Nice.
Excited to read
Sigh.
What is it with folk who constantly try to dissect your use of language?
The idea that it is incorrect to begin a sentence with but (or any other conjunction for that matter) is both anachronistic and… inappropriate to the function of this thread! It’s little more than an old wives’ tale perpetuated by primary school teachers and misguided parents.
But apart from the grammatical implications, the idiom but I digress is more effective as a standalone phrase. It also should not be bastardised with the word however, which – I think you will agree – somewhat dilutes this. Granted, starting a sentence with but is still primarily the domain of fiction, but lest we forget, that is my raison d'être, and this diary will be très boring if I have to throw the occasional English lesson into the mix as well…
But I digress.
Following a few profitable nights at the cash tables over the Christmas and New Year period I went to the bank this morning to deposit £1,400. As I handed over my white envelope filled with wrinkled fifties I perhaps naively assumed this would all be fine… until the woman asked me how I had acquired the money.
At first I thought, that is not really any of your business, lady. Short of having mugged an old woman on my way to Santander, she didn’t need to know the details. Of course, the long black coat and dark glasses combo I had on didn’t exactly scream altar boy.
Instinctively – stigma of the game very much at the forefront of my thoughts, and because it was a question I had not expected – I shrugged and said: “Oh, you know. Sold a few things”, at which point I knew it couldn’t really have been much worse had I walked in there with a handful of clear plastic bags and white powder dusting the point of my nose.
She looked at me closely and I figured I had about three seconds to come up with the correct answer or else she would have the manager there asking tougher questions.
So I backtracked and under my breath, admitted I’d won it on the poker table. I wanted to tell her that some of it had arrived by way of a guy betting into me down all three streets when I had the nuts, and some of it was thanks to a busted flush draw that I managed to bluff on the river… but I figured she didn’t require that much detail.
Upon explaining the source of my income I laughed a little. It was a nervous laugh: purely reactionary, like when the doctor taps your knee with that little hammer and your leg shoots forward. I instantly felt like I had admitted to having a foot fetish, or some equally quirky affectation, but it nonetheless felt good to say it out loud.
The teller seemed indifferent to my confession, gave me a receipt, and wished me a pleasant day.
I would be interested to see the reaction of said bank teller if your answer was one of he following; "I am a drug dealer,whats it to you?..I have just robbed the bank along the street please don't tell, I sold my p enis and this is the first installment, I got a grand an inch, expect another 9 grand soon"..
Good luck with your quest.
Well, that was a rather inauspicious start to my 2015 challenge. I eased into my campaign like sliding into an old pair of slippers, and - given my dedication to the forum - I had high hopes that Sky would do me a solid and manipulate the RNG in my favour tonight, but apparently things don't happen like that around here. Who knew?
I played three bounty hunters this evening and I took a grand total of zero heads. None. Of course, also playing The Last of Us online with my sister while I multi-tabled probably wasn't the greatest way to kickstart the challenge and it probably cost me a few chips along the way... it cost me a few kills as well
So, Day One is gone without even touching distance of a cash! I will have to put Liv on ice for the moment while I iron out a few kinks in my game.
Tomorrow - focus will return.