I went for an eye exam this week. I’ve not had my eyes checked since I was a teenager, and they were fine then. What could possibly have happened in the last twenty years?
So, I’m sitting in this room, and the cute little optician (I could see her well enough...) had me sit down while she arranged the charts on the wall. One eye, then the other. You know the drill, seven rows of increasingly smaller letters.
Oops, the left eye is definitely not quite as pin-sharp as I had expected it to be. Wait a minute. Is that an 'N' or an 'H'? Squint. Deep breath. It’s about a millimetre across – even Superman couldn’t read that! Fake it. It’s fifty-fifty. It’s a flopped flush draw against an overpair, right? 'H'. Yeah, definitely 'H'.
Then she leans right over me – close enough so that I am practically choking on her perfume – and says she wants to check the back of my eyes with this torch. Up, right, left, up to the right, up to the left. Down. It's not often a woman tells me to look down her blouse – that's the kind of thing I normally do and then get into trouble for.
Now look into the light, she says. Now away. Now back into the light. Seems a bit of an ironic request if you ask me. She's meant to be protecting my eyes, not burning my retinas with this red laser!
Anyway, it turns out I don’t need the Coke bottles after all - I just to lay off the spreadsheets for a while – so it looks like I'm good for another twenty years.
Three off the cash in the main. I probably could have held on for the min cash, but I've never really done that so I ain't starting now. A few hands earlier I had decided to shove AJ suited over a min raise, probably folding out most of the speculative hands. I would have been happy enough to take down the blinds, but a call would've put me in the top 5... had I held, obviously. He flipped QQ and I was crippled after that. Still think it was the right move in a turbo.
In the Mini I can't complain about my exit, despite how early it was. I got it all in pre in a not-as-exciting-as-you-think threeway... with the best hand. KK against AJ against Q10. Ace spiked. I'm out!
...and the less said about the rest of tonight, the better.
In Response to Re: Life's A Flop... : Well age hasn't stopped Clooney drawing the ladies, and what's he got that I don't? ...actually, on second thoughts, leave that one alone. Posted by Slipwater
Lol Ps - loved the bank story, think I would've reacted in exactly the same way, so awkward haha!!
People who talk on their mobile phones at a decibel level that should be reserved for jet aircraft, the approach of a really big dinosaur, and the high-pitched squeals of five-year olds. You’re on the phone: there’s absolutely no need to shout: I promise they can hear you at the other end. If you insist on talking as if you’re trying to project to the dark side of the moon, please wait until I have vacated the area and am suitably out of earshot. Thank you.
In Response to Re: Life's A Flop... : Reads - A B S L U T E H E R O I need an eye test Slip, been shocking since I picked up hayfever a few years ago. Been putting it off as Eyeman is my local ophthalmologist <<< sure that's what he calls himself these days to sound posh(er) Posted by samantha25
Wishing you the best of luck in this quest for glory brian,i'm sure you can do this before you burn your way through 3k.. Really have enjoyed the first few snippets of your diary made me smile after a sh***day at work.... Posted by neil1970
Thanks Neil - always good to have an audience, and I can empathise with the bad days at work!
Comments
I went for an eye exam this week. I’ve not had my eyes checked since I was a teenager, and they were fine then. What could possibly have happened in the last twenty years?
So, I’m sitting in this room, and the cute little optician (I could see her well enough...) had me sit down while she arranged the charts on the wall. One eye, then the other. You know the drill, seven rows of increasingly smaller letters.
Oops, the left eye is definitely not quite as pin-sharp as I had expected it to be. Wait a minute. Is that an 'N' or an 'H'? Squint. Deep breath. It’s about a millimetre across – even Superman couldn’t read that! Fake it. It’s fifty-fifty. It’s a flopped flush draw against an overpair, right? 'H'. Yeah, definitely 'H'.
Then she leans right over me – close enough so that I am practically choking on her perfume – and says she wants to check the back of my eyes with this torch. Up, right, left, up to the right, up to the left. Down. It's not often a woman tells me to look down her blouse – that's the kind of thing I normally do and then get into trouble for.
Now look into the light, she says. Now away. Now back into the light. Seems a bit of an ironic request if you ask me. She's meant to be protecting my eyes, not burning my retinas with this red laser!
Anyway, it turns out I don’t need the Coke bottles after all - I just to lay off the spreadsheets for a while – so it looks like I'm good for another twenty years.
Three off the cash in the main. I probably could have held on for the min cash, but I've never really done that so I ain't starting now. A few hands earlier I had decided to shove AJ suited over a min raise, probably folding out most of the speculative hands. I would have been happy enough to take down the blinds, but a call would've put me in the top 5... had I held, obviously. He flipped QQ and I was crippled after that. Still think it was the right move in a turbo.
In the Mini I can't complain about my exit, despite how early it was. I got it all in pre in a not-as-exciting-as-you-think threeway... with the best hand. KK against AJ against Q10. Ace spiked. I'm out!
...and the less said about the rest of tonight, the better.
Keep it going, I'm enjoying the banter with all of the light hearted tug of war you play with your fellow quill-meisters.
Grumpy Old Man: Item #1
People who talk on their mobile phones at a decibel level that should be reserved for jet aircraft, the approach of a really big dinosaur, and the high-pitched squeals of five-year olds. You’re on the phone: there’s absolutely no need to shout: I promise they can hear you at the other end. If you insist on talking as if you’re trying to project to the dark side of the moon, please wait until I have vacated the area and am suitably out of earshot. Thank you.
H H Y
F T R
F T D R
LL