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Chatbox humour
Tikay10
Member, Administrator, Moderator Posts: 172,626
We do see some get a bit uppity in the Chatbox, but we see some comedic gems, too, so if you have any examples, stick them on here please, to cheer up a dull November weekend.
Comments
I had a genuine new keyboard moment last night. I was at home, on my own, & just burst out into uncontrollable laughter at this one.
A geezer makes one of the oddest & most incomprehensible plays you have ever seen. I mean, it was inexplicable, simply astonishing.
And, inevitably & needlessly, he goes busto, & is out.
Up pops Macac in the chat box with this gem;
I blame the E-numbers.
We had a new player last night, (his first ever game on Sky Poker) & so we chit chatted to help make him feel welcome, & he responded in kind.
He was very agro indeed, & I noted he was from Glasgow, so wrote "don't mess with the Glasgow boys".
Macac wrote.....
The problem with Glasgow lads is you never know if they are saying hello or challenging you to a fight
a player said "tearing off tights with your teeth"
now you get all kinds of randoms on spin and gos so i ignored him except he was now typing "?????" and 'well?'
i asked him what the **** he was on about and he said, 'your avatar is faithless'
i have avatars switched off, so didnt immediately catch on, but my avatar is of the jazz trumpeter miles davis - a black man. the lead man in faithless is also black
kinda sorted the wierdness out for me.
----
a nice exchange at the HUSNG tables - how to troll the trolls - kill them with kindness:
i disconnect and am lagging v this guy and he is doing his nut as i was taking so long [on stars when you disconnect you get an extended timebank] ...
jklang1 u cant play fasteR?
tommyborstal SLOW CONNECTION SORRY
he then says
jklang1 all in
and then calls a 3bt shove with 54s
i lag again:
jklang1 dear god
jklang1 u so slow
tommyborstal SORRY
i win that game, next game opens with:
jklang1 dont be slow this time
i disconnect...
jklang1 oh god
tommyborstal buy me a new laptop then
jklang1 buy one for your pokermoney
the game ends when he minr / calls 78s @ 22bb
next game he starts giving some BOSS strat advice
i flat Q6 off, check call on AQ4r, Q turn, i call his barrel and jam river, he calls with AJ.
he goes MENTAL:
jklang1 omg
jklang1 OMFG
jklang1 HAHAHAHAHA
jklang1 fkn idiot
jklang1 u got a stack of 190 the flop is listen here AQ4
jklang1 i bet 40 of your 190
jklang1 and u only call:S:SS?
tommyborstal ul brah
jklang1 NO YOU ARE THE STUPID
jklang1 how can u be so fkn re tarded dont understand
tommyborstal hehe teach me bro
jklang1 i really hope u die in cancer
jklang1 u deserve it
tommyborstal ty man
i shove J5o for 5bb, he slowrolls me in chat. more strat advice:
jklang1 should i fold A K?
jklang1 j 5 nice hand
i calll QTo for 9bb:
jklang1 nice call idiot
i shove J9s @ 11bb and get looked up by ATo. J9x flop - lovely stuff. a couple of NASH calls under 6bb and gg
jklang1 omfg
jklang1 dear god
tommyborstal wow you are vvv unlucky man
jklang1 u know u suck
jklang1 no im obv lucky
jklang1 9 J is so much better then A 10....
jklang1 good calls
we go into our last game...
jklang1 u didnt deserve to win
tommyborstal hope you win this one
tommyborstal only fair
jklang1 so i hope karma gets you with cancer
tommyborstal ty gl
he is steaming and then the following hand happens:
Seat 1: jklang1 (470 in chips)
Seat 2: tommyborstal (530 in chips)
tommyborstal: posts small blind 10
jklang1: posts big blind 20
HOLE CARDS
Dealt to tommyborstal [Kh 2d]
tommyborstal: calls 10
jklang1: raises 20 to 40
tommyborstal: calls 20
FLOP [3c 7d Ah]
jklang1: bets 40
tommyborstal: calls 40
TURN [3c 7d Ah] [Ad]
jklang1: bets 80
tommyborstal: calls 80
RIVER [3c 7d Ah Ad] [Td]
jklang1: bets 160
tommyborstal: calls 160
SHOW DOWN
jklang1: shows [Qs 8s] (a pair of Aces)
tommyborstal: shows [Kh 2d] (a pair of Aces - King kicker)
tommyborstal collected 640 from pot
jklang1 omg
jklang1 WHAT ARE YOU DOING
tommyborstal misclick, sorry
tommyborstal thought i had pocket tens
jklang1 omfg
declines....
Miss paige has missed you my Teddy xxx
They allow - almost encourage by omission - that sort of talk?
"Hope you get cancer"?
"retarded".
"Retarded", in this supposedly enlightened day an age, is an acceptable insult?
To quote someone I respect greatly who wrote this on November 3rd......
if you cant feel some sense of sadness about that then i'd argue you dont love poker.
'Stars, the so-called "standard bearer" of poker, really should take the lead in discouraging this sort of thing.
Anyway, lets get back to fun chatbox stuff.
Carry on, as you were.
Kid came on about 11pm last night & promptly wrote "god mroning all"
A regular, who evidently knows him, asks him if, just maybe, he has had a drink or two.
He replies "I dnot thnik I hvea hd a drink"
Moments later, he donks the lot off with poox4.
Night mate.
Bet he feels rough this morning.
The difference is, on stars it is more generic abuse. But on Sky it is more targeted personally as less players mean lots of us know each other fairly well (I get called pedo and stuff on a fairly regular basis on sky that I don't even bother reporting it anymore. It is one of the reasons this isn't my main site anymore, even though most of my profit is from here.
It most certainly isn't a problem just for the big sites.
Of course my problem is I cant help myself on sky and always end up standing up for the people being abused and that invariably leads to me being targeted instead but I now use that to my advantage.
The way I see it, we all pay our money and have the right to play any cards we want in anyway we want, without fear of ridicule and abuse. I am fairly sure some of the people who give it out here wouldn't dare do it in real life and are quite sad individuals.
Sorry, back on topic!
Not exactly funny but when people are ranting about a bad player, I usually say something like 'it is ok, you will learn simple pot odds when you get better at poker' to the ranter, and then giggle stupidly to myself whilst their rants go into overdrive. Then they try and teach me the game and what they say invariably tells me more about their skill level than anything
If people rant at other players I normally try and step in but when multi tabling it is hard. Of the games I play the abuse is more often at the lower stake games I play.
I don't need to name names, everyone knows who I am talking about.
My best response to someone threatening to come and kick the proverbial out of me, was to tell abuser to check his Mums sat nav if he would like to find me.
All the best.
Rainman397.
P.S HAS ANYONE MENTIONED THE £2.20 @2.20 DEEPSTACK YET.