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In difficult times...humour helps!( well me it does)

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  • Red_KingRed_King Member Posts: 2,850
    Say it with flowers..


  • Red_KingRed_King Member Posts: 2,850
  • lucy4lucy4 Member Posts: 7,937
  • lucy4lucy4 Member Posts: 7,937
    Only Tottenham could be so Spursy and **** up their twitter announcement of their new manager. Here's a hint Conte is Italian not Spanish...


  • lucy4lucy4 Member Posts: 7,937
  • HAYSIEHAYSIE Member Posts: 35,847
  • lucy4lucy4 Member Posts: 7,937
  • TheEdge949TheEdge949 Member Posts: 5,686
    lucy4 said:


    Arsenal can only look on in envy.
  • EssexphilEssexphil Member Posts: 8,774

    lucy4 said:


    Arsenal can only look on in envy.
    Judging by how well he is (not) doing, Sours may also have ickle Mikel under contract to 2023 :)
  • lucy4lucy4 Member Posts: 7,937
  • HAYSIEHAYSIE Member Posts: 35,847
  • HAYSIEHAYSIE Member Posts: 35,847
  • Red_KingRed_King Member Posts: 2,850
    Britney Spears' conservatorship is brought to an end after 13 years
    #FreeBritney



    How many more years for UK to be free from conservatives 😖

    #FreeBritain


  • HAYSIEHAYSIE Member Posts: 35,847
  • HAYSIEHAYSIE Member Posts: 35,847
  • HAYSIEHAYSIE Member Posts: 35,847
  • Red_KingRed_King Member Posts: 2,850
    edited November 2021


    There was once a turkey who was chatting with a bull. They were both enjoying the glorious outdoors, when the turkey looked up to a nearby tree with a sigh.
    “I wish I could get to the top of that tree, but I don’t have the energy.”
    The bull paused before suggesting, “You should snack on my droppings. They are chock full of nutrients.”
    The turkey started to feast on the droppings. Much to his surprise, he had enough energy to reach the lowest branch of the tree.
    Seeing how well it worked the first time, the next day, the turkey ate more dung and managed to reach the second branch. By the time the fourth day rolled around, the turkey had made it to the top of the tree!
    Unfortunately for the proud turkey, a local farmer spotted him atop the tree. The farmer shot the turkey out of the tree. On an unrelated note, the farmer and his family had a lovely turkey casserole later that night.
    So, what is the moral of this story? Bullsh!t may get you to the top, but it sure as he!! won’t keep you there.
  • Red_KingRed_King Member Posts: 2,850
    A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A small rabbit saw the crow, and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?" The crow answered: "Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

    Moral of the story is:
    To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.
  • Red_KingRed_King Member Posts: 2,850
    A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold, the bird froze and fell to the ground in a large field. While it was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on it. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, it began to realize how warm it was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.

    A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him!

    The morals of this story are:
    Not everyone who drops doo-doo on you is your enemy.
    Not everyone who gets you out of deep doo-doo is your friend.
    And when you're in deep doo-doo, keep your mouth shut.
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