As someone in recovery myself this sounds like a great move.
Although i did a choice theory programme in rehab a lot of my peers now go to AA or NA and its done wonders for them including my sister who's done 8 years and still sponsors people.
It doesn,t just help you stop. It helps you lead a more productive and fullfilling lfe.
It will be a lot of hard work doing the steps but you,ve now got a gr8 support network which you will need.
Well done and all the best
Thank you mate. That does mean a lot, I heard from a support worker friend that its the same disease whether it's gambling, drinking or drugs. A few names for it, really is a horrible thing. That's not to feel sorry for myself in anyway, only I lifted the drink and only I will not continue to go down that path. Just never been able to have one or two drinks and go back home.
Football matters on 1 level. But, on another level, it does not matter at all.
No need to drown your sorrows. Not over 22 overpaid guys chasing a bag of wind.
100 percent, I have been quite flat after the game. Luckily have a couple Celtic supporting friends who don't rub it in. Wished them well in the CL and congrats on the League Title.
Its simply a game of football on the base of it. Thanks Phil, that is the right way to look at it.
Absolute respect Cammy, One day at at a time, acknowledging the want to change and taking the first step is something to be proud of. Thoughts are with you on your journey Sir
Absolute respect Cammy, One day at at a time, acknowledging the want to change and taking the first step is something to be proud of. Thoughts are with you on your journey Sir
Really am rooting for you to beat this buddy. It's so difficult for people who have no addiction to understand the dangers that are all around. You have already completed the most important step by recognising that you have a problem and taking the steps to overcome.
Also I think highlighting some of the triggers that lead to your drinking is massively important, I found that by removing myself from the situations I would associate with having a drink also helped tremendously. So I stopped going to a mates house to watch the sport because it was always party time there and I also didn't attend games. Yes it was hard at first but it was worth the sacrifice to get well.
The biggest help though was the realisation that I was doing it for ME, nobody else. ME, and that had to be the driving factor behind it because only then can you truly get better. Sometimes you will have to be selfish about it but it's at those times when you need to put you before everyone else. It isn't easy but it sure is worth it in the end.
I am fortunate in that I can now enjoy a social beer with friends or a glass of scotch with a game of poker without the need to just keep drinking. However I have in the last 10 years or so fallen off the path a couple of times.
The secret here is to recognise that you have slipped back, speak to your support network, reset and go again. You HAVE NOT failed or let anyone down, this is addiction my friend, we just get up, look it right in the eye and take it back on.
I will always be a problem drinker, an alcoholic. 99% of the time I control my addiction, the other 1% it controls me. The thing to do is to retain that 99% control and that will get me through life.
So like I said, rooting for you, praying for you, walking it with you. You can do this.
Day 1 again. Not going to beat myself up too much about it, that is not to dismiss the slip it's just what problem drinkers do.
Day 1
As I have touched on my team did not win yesterday and felt rotten however that is something outwith my control and am now at peace with that.
Day 1 consisted of attending Turning Point meeting to discuss the trip, played a little snooker with a local Link Up group and went a walk with a member of the group for an hour along the beach.
Had a chat with my online sponsor too and said I will stick with my live sponsor as having two can be conflicting. I had also provided the link to this thread and she will probably see this later on or in a day or two. Think best as a friend than sponsor as she is 6 months sober and that is maybe not enough, hope we can remain friends and the ball is in her court about that. Also, in this group they advise man on man and woman on woman. Can see why in a sense. She knows of my slip and knew (I think) I was heading towards alcohol yesterday.
Being a Brick and Mortar attendee I said maybe a guy "live" needs to have a look at me. Zoom is great however its easier to hide things from your sponsor.
Best of luck with this process and respect for being open and honest about your journey hopefully this thread can help with support and accountability. Having not experienced addiction to destructive levels myself but been around people that have i found 'recovery' by russell brand a really fascinating insightful book into the 12 steps and his personal journey, he polarises opinion but his honesty around that subject has made me learn so much more about addiction than standard textbook education in college/uni. Have you read it? if not i'd highly reccomend. On a poker note feel free to drop me a message if you ever want to discuss any hu hands if you still play the odd hyper turbo etc.
Hi, Cam, just read your post re the slip and FWIW that's exactly the right way to look at it and a great attitude.
As addicts, hiding our flaws and our set backs is the worst thing we can do, as what begins with lying to others, leads to lying to oneself and when we do that recovery is impossible.
Your friend will more than likely understand and be supportive, especially if she has had similar struggles, but do not let it get to you. If we decided to turn away every time we made a mistake then as a species we'd still be running around naked having to kill our food before eating it raw.
Every day sober or clean is a victory and you should enjoy them, every slip is simply a missed step on the journey to the goal, not an all consuming failure.
Imagine you are competing in the Cape Wrath Trail and you're 40 hours in, legs are fkd, body aches from lack of sleep and you are at breaking point. Yet as the fitter people blow past with encouragement and words of hope the correct response is to say "I'm still moving forward. I'm still heading in the right direction" and just keep on one foot in front of the other.
Be honest with your sponsor, be honest with your group too. I'll wager there are more than a couple of members who are hiding their own slips, fearful of judgement who may appreciate the chance to speak about their experiences and how they feel.
Always be honest with yourself. That's the most important thing to remember and finally understand that you are not alone in any of this.
So a new day begins, live it, love it and be you, buddy.
Firstly to benc, I have a Russell Brand book in the flat although have never picked it up. Not sure if it's the one you are refering to or another one of his books. Do like RB and he uses words which just blow my mind.
Do dabble in the HU streets as have been working on my overall game to improve and for a change up.
As you may know I am a TDYMer for the most part and play MTTs. HU is not easy and your offer is very much appreciated in regard to being open to discussion. May follow up on that once I clear the decks and give them a shot again. Maybe a few check-in hands to make sure I am not burning money.
Mark,
Thanks and have made many mistakes in the past after a night on the tiles. Generally out the game for 3 days after it mentally and have wasted so much time in bed being in a state of paranoia and fear. What a way to live! A former councillor said "when you drink alcohol you are buying future happiness". He was right in my situation. Do have a tenancy to 'go all-in' with recovery groups, councillors and try to stay as accountable as possible. That's a big thing in another one of my groups so living under their rules instead of making up my own which hasn't serve me well in the past. Well, to a point however the pride needs to go and have been told I am playing director, producer and cameraman and to "relinquish control". Working through that
It's a pity that you had a drink but your attitude about it is fantastic - bounce right back up and get at it again, really pleased to see you take it on the chin like that.
Fair play for being so open and honest about everything, I hope that having this blog helps you get where you want to be.
Have you a goal in mind at present, or is it too early in your recovery?
For me in the early days I found it very hard to take on board the fact I cannot have a drink, as time passed it became easier to accept that fact, these days it’s second nature, I can go in pubs, casinos, the theatre and holidays abroad without the thought crossing my mind., and believe me I feel SO much better.
My wife and I go cruising to the Caribbean and the like, that would never have been possible when I was drinking.
Have you a goal in mind at present, or is it too early in your recovery?
For me in the early days I found it very hard to take on board the fact I cannot have a drink, as time passed it became easier to accept that fact, these days it’s second nature, I can go in pubs, casinos, the theatre and holidays abroad without the thought crossing my mind., and believe me I feel SO much better.
My wife and I go cruising to the Caribbean and the like, that would never have been possible when I was drinking.
Goals? Yes, I do have a few this year. I am doing a Run for Ukraine this weekend which is a 10k, more for mental strengthening as running is not something that is enjoyable so a bit of mind over matter there. Signed up for Tough Mudder in July and in-between looking at doing a bit of traveling if poker and other things go well. That's the 'live' ones which can be done by myself. Eyeing up others which depend on other people
Comments
100 percent, I have been quite flat after the game. Luckily have a couple Celtic supporting friends who don't rub it in. Wished them well in the CL and congrats on the League Title.
Its simply a game of football on the base of it. Thanks Phil, that is the right way to look at it.
Also I think highlighting some of the triggers that lead to your drinking is massively important, I found that by removing myself from the situations I would associate with having a drink also helped tremendously. So I stopped going to a mates house to watch the sport because it was always party time there and I also didn't attend games. Yes it was hard at first but it was worth the sacrifice to get well.
The biggest help though was the realisation that I was doing it for ME, nobody else. ME, and that had to be the driving factor behind it because only then can you truly get better. Sometimes you will have to be selfish about it but it's at those times when you need to put you before everyone else. It isn't easy but it sure is worth it in the end.
I am fortunate in that I can now enjoy a social beer with friends or a glass of scotch with a game of poker without the need to just keep drinking. However I have in the last 10 years or so fallen off the path a couple of times.
The secret here is to recognise that you have slipped back, speak to your support network, reset and go again. You HAVE NOT failed or let anyone down, this is addiction my friend, we just get up, look it right in the eye and take it back on.
I will always be a problem drinker, an alcoholic. 99% of the time I control my addiction, the other 1% it controls me. The thing to do is to retain that 99% control and that will get me through life.
So like I said, rooting for you, praying for you, walking it with you. You can do this.
Mark.
Ha, yes, it had me searching too, but my search came up dry.
One foot in front of the other and one day at a time
Day 1
As I have touched on my team did not win yesterday and felt rotten however that is something outwith my control and am now at peace with that.
Day 1 consisted of attending Turning Point meeting to discuss the trip, played a little snooker with a local Link Up group and went a walk with a member of the group for an hour along the beach.
Had a chat with my online sponsor too and said I will stick with my live sponsor as having two can be conflicting. I had also provided the link to this thread and she will probably see this later on or in a day or two. Think best as a friend than sponsor as she is 6 months sober and that is maybe not enough, hope we can remain friends and the ball is in her court about that. Also, in this group they advise man on man and woman on woman. Can see why in a sense. She knows of my slip and knew (I think) I was heading towards alcohol yesterday.
Being a Brick and Mortar attendee I said maybe a guy "live" needs to have a look at me. Zoom is great however its easier to hide things from your sponsor.
As addicts, hiding our flaws and our set backs is the worst thing we can do, as what begins with lying to others, leads to lying to oneself and when we do that recovery is impossible.
Your friend will more than likely understand and be supportive, especially if she has had similar struggles, but do not let it get to you. If we decided to turn away every time we made a mistake then as a species we'd still be running around naked having to kill our food before eating it raw.
Every day sober or clean is a victory and you should enjoy them, every slip is simply a missed step on the journey to the goal, not an all consuming failure.
Imagine you are competing in the Cape Wrath Trail and you're 40 hours in, legs are fkd, body aches from lack of sleep and you are at breaking point. Yet as the fitter people blow past with encouragement and words of hope the correct response is to say "I'm still moving forward. I'm still heading in the right direction" and just keep on one foot in front of the other.
Be honest with your sponsor, be honest with your group too. I'll wager there are more than a couple of members who are hiding their own slips, fearful of judgement who may appreciate the chance to speak about their experiences and how they feel.
Always be honest with yourself. That's the most important thing to remember and finally understand that you are not alone in any of this.
So a new day begins, live it, love it and be you, buddy.
Mark.
Firstly to benc, I have a Russell Brand book in the flat although have never picked it up. Not sure if it's the one you are refering to or another one of his books. Do like RB and he uses words which just blow my mind.
Do dabble in the HU streets as have been working on my overall game to improve and for a change up.
As you may know I am a TDYMer for the most part and play MTTs. HU is not easy and your offer is very much appreciated in regard to being open to discussion. May follow up on that once I clear the decks and give them a shot again. Maybe a few check-in hands to make sure I am not burning money.
Mark,
Thanks and have made many mistakes in the past after a night on the tiles. Generally out the game for 3 days after it mentally and have wasted so much time in bed being in a state of paranoia and fear. What a way to live! A former councillor said "when you drink alcohol you are buying future happiness". He was right in my situation. Do have a tenancy to 'go all-in' with recovery groups, councillors and try to stay as accountable as possible. That's a big thing in another one of my groups so living under their rules instead of making up my own which hasn't serve me well in the past. Well, to a point however the pride needs to go and have been told I am playing director, producer and cameraman and to "relinquish control". Working through that
Fair play for being so open and honest about everything, I hope that having this blog helps you get where you want to be.
When faced with adversity people either give up, or bounce back.
Dont give up, ever.
I echo the sentiments of HAYSIE, don’t give up.
Have you a goal in mind at present, or is it too early in your recovery?
For me in the early days I found it very hard to take on board the fact I cannot have a drink, as time passed it became easier to accept that fact, these days it’s second nature, I can go in pubs, casinos, the theatre and holidays abroad without the thought crossing my mind., and believe me I feel SO much better.
My wife and I go cruising to the Caribbean and the like, that would never have been possible when I was drinking.