I really do hope I can transpire the thoughts in my head onto paper, because if I can do so successfully this may just be the most important thing you read in 2013.
If you read this blog, the following key words will appear time and time again. Hard work, dedication, ability and possibilities. But previously unbeknown to me - it lacked just one more fundamental word that changes everything. It's a word that's been metaphorically slapping me in the face day in, day out, during my entire life. It's a word that indeed comes up, in everyday life - but as individuals, the vast majority of us will ignore the profound meaning. Don't worry, I will eventually get to the core of what I'm blabbering on about, but for now I'll provide some examples to truly illustrate my point.
--
I believe that to a certain extent, our aptitude in different areas is indeed shaped by our generics. At the end of the day, it's easier to become a premier league goalkeeper when you're above average height, and not 5 foot 5. I think it's clear that as humans, we're attracted to the areas we seemingly naturally excel at. In school, how many of us grew up LOVING the subject we weren't good at and just didn't understand? For me the answer is simple - I didn't.
Saying this however, I firmly believe that the most common determining factors of those who achieve great things is not because they were simply generically born to become the world's greatest violin player or a professional hockey player. But more-so because of something deeper. (If you want to read an in-depth account into this, I thoroughly recommend 'Outliners' by Malcolm Gladwell) For simplicity however, and to put this into everyday terms; How many of us excel or previously have achieved great things in a field because of outstanding support by certain individuals, loved ones or that 'one of a kind' coach? In having installed a deeper sense of unequivocal meaning to our ability and indeed ourselves - we gained that something to fight for, and ultimately a passion. We found that reason to push ourselves that little bit further every time we practiced, played, wrote, recited and performed. In doing so, we had gained a true sense of focus. But once that focus was lost, we crumbled, gave up and moved onto other things.
Translating this back to myself and indeed Poker, I can tell you the following. This time last year was the lowest point of my life. I lacked any real confidence in not only my Poker competence, but my personal competence. I may have possessed a fundamental ability, but that meant nothing because I felt as though I had no reinforcement, no self-belief and ultimately no focus. It was only when I pulled myself together, reminded myself of previous accomplishments and regained a basic awareness - that I was able to get myself and my game back on track. From there, I worked to become the best version of myself that I could be. This not only translated to becoming the top earning DYM player on the site for 2012, but provided me with a sense of reinvigoration and fulfilment - which then positively correlated to my wellbeing and happiness.
Ultimately I believe that we're all searching for the same things in life - A sense of purpose, a desire and reassurance. Some may find solace in each of the above through a variety of different things; including Religion, loved ones, various hobbies and pursuits.
It's only once we lose our focus of what we're ultimately searching for, that that negativity takes hold of us and we become a fraction of the person we previously were. So the next time you feel down or lack a feeling of motivation - Remind yourself of who you are, what you love to do and what you're fighting for. Remind yourself that the best things in life, are the things that are the hardest and take the longest to achieve. Once you do this, you should find somewhat of a reinvigoration within yourself.
I thank you for taking the time to read my post and truly hope it is as helpful for you to read, as it was for me to write.
In Response to Re: Patwalshh - My Ongoing Journey [The most important lesson for 2013?] : +1 great post for general life and not just poker very well written Posted by benc
As I said on the DTD page, replies like this inspire my to continue with the blog. So thank you, it means a lot.
I thought it'd be good to add a little update, so here goes.
In all honesty, things really haven't been too great this year Poker wise. Ever since I had a little tournament success on FTP mid January, things just seemed to go into a downward spiral. It was as though no matter how well I played, I was always running into the top of my opponents range, or was getting outdrawn. After a few weeks of it happening, I just went into a really bad mindset of telling myself I didn't give a s***. Busted my roll playing cash etc. Redeposit. Busto. Redeposit. Busto. Rinse and repeat. It was as though I just wanted to lose because I just couldn't deal with Poker anymore. I felt as though I had nothing left to fight for.
It's weird how we put pressure on ourselves as individuals. No matter how great things seem to be going in all other aspects, it can just take one small thing to throw everything else into disarray. I told myself one vital thing, I wasn't going to let a game effect me like it did this time last year. I wasn't going to let others sacrifice and suffer for my stupidity at the online felt. I stuck to this, no matter how I performed at the table - I didn't let it effect me with others. My relationship with friends and especially my girlfriend blossomed despite me throwing away over a grand online.
I had a week off University for a 'reading week', enjoyed valentines day, went home for the weekend and hung out with friends. I even threw away more money playing HU Hypers and turbos. But it didn't bother me. I didn't feel as though it mattered. I'd become basically mentally immune to monetary swings. The direct accumilation of money, at the end of the day never has been a great aspiration of mine. Instead I try to look at the bigger picture, instead viewing it as something you inevitably earn through your journey. Taking pride in your hard work, sacrifice and focus.
I believe that as poker players, and indeed individuals we shouldn't set ourselves monetary targets - there's too much variance and unexpected obstacles to hinder that. A great example would be to set the goal of working hard to make Priority this month in +EV games. At the end of the month you reach your goal, you can be happy about your success. If you were happy about your play and kept tilt to a minimum, fantastic. If you made a grand along the way, better so. In my opinion, when you create monetary goals, you put unnessary pressure and stress on yourself.
At the end of the day, all you can do is play to the best of your ability, you can't ask for any more. One of the worst things you can do is to chase your losses. Illogically chase what in your opinion you think you should have. Don't chase it, don't go for the easy route. Work hard for it. It was only once I fully realised this, I was insightful enough to go back to basics - back to what I've crushed, DYMs. Set myself a target and stick to it.
3 very different graphs for the year:
All games, all disciplines (Sky)
All SNGS all disciplines
All 6 Max SNGs
I've set myself a goal to hit 12,000 points for the month, which at 3+ months in Priority amounts to £420. Lets hit some targets, and hopefully print some money along the way!
"not too great" - until the last 200 games more like **** eh!
possibilities:
1. variance - keep playing & you'll get there
2. tilt - sigh & pause
3. development - i.e. you've developed some new techniques (ie cold 4 betting light for example) but need to gain experience of how to use it (continuing the example your cold 4 bet is called oop and post flop they donk bet into you - wtf to do next)
only you can know which of these has impacted your play. I've had a big downswing on mtts over the last few months, and was starting to fear I was losing it. But then I managed to take down a 5k BH. Focus on your A-game, and you'll be back, as long as you keep those tilt-demons at bay.
PS I sat down at a live cash £1/2 table this afternoon. But I just wasn't feeling it. I'm sure the button 3 bet was a steal but laid down my AJ. After half an hour stood up and went home having only seen one flop. i.e if it ain't working don't chase it - wait until the focus is back and then grind the tables.
You've got the maturity & game to make it work - don't let the demons take it away from you.
Really enjoy reading your diary just dont post very often. Have seen you at the tables a little recently. I have a couple of Q's if/when you get time to answer?
How accurate do you find the site where your graphs from? I've been keeping a spreadsheet and the site appears to be out by some distance?
How many hrs do you have to play a month to make priority?
Stick at it, you know you've got the game to win, just stick to what you KNOW you're good at for a bit, get some confidence back and some roll. Rebuild and take another shot. Never built up as big as you but I've lost count how many times I've built my roll up, took a shot (or just run terrible and tilted), lost a load and had no choice but to go back to basics and rebuild.
My BR is like £600 now, a month ago it was £800, 2 months prior it was £100, swingaments
Hi, Really enjoy reading your diary just dont post very often. Have seen you at the tables a little recently. I have a couple of Q's if/when you get time to answer? How accurate do you find the site where your graphs from? I've been keeping a spreadsheet and the site appears to be out by some distance? How many hrs do you have to play a month to make priority? Run Good Alex Posted by PiAnOpLaYa
1) I find them fairly accurate, not sure exactly how much though (but the graphs look pretty anyway).
2) I normally try to maximise the number of games I'm playing at a time, so optimally during a 'efficient' session, I'll have no less than 8 running at stakes between £5 and £22. It all depends on your average buyin-in and number of tables your playing. But for me, it's probably 2 and a half to 3 hours a day if I play most days in the month. Probably around 3 and a half if you're just playing £5.50-£11 games. Hope this somewhat helps.
Another great post Pat if not a bit melancholy. Stick at it, you know you've got the game to win, just stick to what you KNOW you're good at for a bit, get some confidence back and some roll. Rebuild and take another shot. Never built up as big as you but I've lost count how many times I've built my roll up, took a shot (or just run terrible and tilted), lost a load and had no choice but to go back to basics and rebuild. My BR is like £600 now, a month ago it was £800, 2 months prior it was £100, swingaments Posted by Lambert180
Balance in this thread haha. I can fully sympathise with your swings, some weeks you just feel as if you're going nowhere/backwards/were better off just not playing - All I can say is stick at it, keep trying to improve, find a game and crush it. Always chase a dream though, take shots in the high rollers every month or so as a reward for commitment.
Best of luck
Pat
--
I previously said that I'm attempting to reach 12,000 points, something I've only ever acomplished once, due to the SNG Champ promotion. With Febuary being a short month, and me being WELL BEHIND Priority pace anyway, I need some encouragement - Hopefully I can find it through this thread.
I'll be trying to include daily updates including current BR and current PPs:
Current BR: £502 (Started the week with £210)
Current C4P: 6870 (Started the week with around 3200)
Current C4P: 6870 (Started the week with around 3200)
More than doubling your roll since the start of the week is great form! keep it up and just put in the hours at the games you know you can crush and i'm sure you will easily hit your target. Good luck.
Comments
'Finding your Fight'
I really do hope I can transpire the thoughts in my head onto paper, because if I can do so successfully this may just be the most important thing you read in 2013.
If you read this blog, the following key words will appear time and time again. Hard work, dedication, ability and possibilities. But previously unbeknown to me - it lacked just one more fundamental word that changes everything. It's a word that's been metaphorically slapping me in the face day in, day out, during my entire life. It's a word that indeed comes up, in everyday life - but as individuals, the vast majority of us will ignore the profound meaning. Don't worry, I will eventually get to the core of what I'm blabbering on about, but for now I'll provide some examples to truly illustrate my point.
--
I believe that to a certain extent, our aptitude in different areas is indeed shaped by our generics. At the end of the day, it's easier to become a premier league goalkeeper when you're above average height, and not 5 foot 5. I think it's clear that as humans, we're attracted to the areas we seemingly naturally excel at. In school, how many of us grew up LOVING the subject we weren't good at and just didn't understand? For me the answer is simple - I didn't.
Saying this however, I firmly believe that the most common determining factors of those who achieve great things is not because they were simply generically born to become the world's greatest violin player or a professional hockey player. But more-so because of something deeper. (If you want to read an in-depth account into this, I thoroughly recommend 'Outliners' by Malcolm Gladwell) For simplicity however, and to put this into everyday terms; How many of us excel or previously have achieved great things in a field because of outstanding support by certain individuals, loved ones or that 'one of a kind' coach? In having installed a deeper sense of unequivocal meaning to our ability and indeed ourselves - we gained that something to fight for, and ultimately a passion. We found that reason to push ourselves that little bit further every time we practiced, played, wrote, recited and performed. In doing so, we had gained a true sense of focus. But once that focus was lost, we crumbled, gave up and moved onto other things.
Translating this back to myself and indeed Poker, I can tell you the following. This time last year was the lowest point of my life. I lacked any real confidence in not only my Poker competence, but my personal competence. I may have possessed a fundamental ability, but that meant nothing because I felt as though I had no reinforcement, no self-belief and ultimately no focus. It was only when I pulled myself together, reminded myself of previous accomplishments and regained a basic awareness - that I was able to get myself and my game back on track. From there, I worked to become the best version of myself that I could be. This not only translated to becoming the top earning DYM player on the site for 2012, but provided me with a sense of reinvigoration and fulfilment - which then positively correlated to my wellbeing and happiness.
Ultimately I believe that we're all searching for the same things in life - A sense of purpose, a desire and reassurance. Some may find solace in each of the above through a variety of different things; including Religion, loved ones, various hobbies and pursuits.
It's only once we lose our focus of what we're ultimately searching for, that that negativity takes hold of us and we become a fraction of the person we previously were. So the next time you feel down or lack a feeling of motivation - Remind yourself of who you are, what you love to do and what you're fighting for. Remind yourself that the best things in life, are the things that are the hardest and take the longest to achieve. Once you do this, you should find somewhat of a reinvigoration within yourself.
I thank you for taking the time to read my post and truly hope it is as helpful for you to read, as it was for me to write.
Patwalshh
Love your persepctive and how you step back and look at the bigger picture.
You mention focus, how true for everything.
I have to mention motivation, without this we do nothing.
run golden
Really enjoy reading your diary just dont post very often. Have seen you at the tables a little recently. I have a couple of Q's if/when you get time to answer?
How accurate do you find the site where your graphs from? I've been keeping a spreadsheet and the site appears to be out by some distance?
How many hrs do you have to play a month to make priority?
Run Good
Alex
Stick at it, you know you've got the game to win, just stick to what you KNOW you're good at for a bit, get some confidence back and some roll. Rebuild and take another shot. Never built up as big as you but I've lost count how many times I've built my roll up, took a shot (or just run terrible and tilted), lost a load and had no choice but to go back to basics and rebuild.
My BR is like £600 now, a month ago it was £800, 2 months prior it was £100, swingaments
732 points per day.
Assuming an average game is £11 so on average you get 10 points per game (obv some are more, some are less)
10 tables = 100 points per round of games, and I reckon your average DYM is gonna be about 30 mins give or take, so 200 points per hour roughly
So.... just need to do 3.5 hours of 10 tabling every day for the next 7 days... easy
Gonna be tough mate but definitely do-able!
More than doubling your roll since the start of the week is great form! keep it up and just put in the hours at the games you know you can crush and i'm sure you will easily hit your target. Good luck.