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Patwalshh - My Ongoing Journey [new update]
patwalshh
Member Posts: 772
Introduction - For months I've been wanting to post a thread to track my progress. Having been inspired by various threads, I've finally decided this would be a great place to post it. In this thread I will post my Poker 'career' to date, the highs & lows I've encountered along the way, and regular updates of my day to day progress.
Backstory -
That brings us to December, when I made the transition to Skypoker. I put £15 on the site, and after winning a small tournament, I just had enough of a roll to begin playing the £5 Double or Nothings. To my surprise I was actually winning at them! In the two weeks of December I turned a £15 deposit into over £400. I felt incredible. However, it wasn't the money itself that made me happy. More importantly, it was the belief in myself that the money gave me. After such a painful and low period of my life. A period that I wouldn't wish on anyone - I was back.
Backstory -
I started playing poker about 3 years ago when I stumbed across Facebook poker. I started with the 9 player sit and gos and soon found a playing style that worked well. Playing tight in the early stages when the rewards were small and using that image to my advantage to steal wide in the latter stages when the rewards were high. From the moment I played my first hand I was hooked and as strange as it sounds, it seemed as though I was destined to play.
The two year wait until turning 18 and legally being able to play began. I can honestly say that the 6 months leading up to my 18th birthday were the longest of my life. I'd played on a few sites before turning 18 with little success and I knew that I had a long way to go until I'd be a consistant winning player online. So I put my game to work. I read stratergy and watched videos, desperately trying to improve my game before I could make a substantial deposit when I was finally legal to play. Eventually came my 18th birthday, March 24th of last year. I can't put into words how elated I felt waking up on my birthday, knowing the wait was over and the constrictions of being 17 had finally gone.
For my birthday, myself and 4 friends went to London. Over the course of the weekend I won over £600 in 4 hours of live poker play. I knew good things were ahead. But unbeknown to me, my path to becoming a winning poker player had only just begun.
Initial Playing days -
After the exuberance of my birthday had worn off, I was unsure what to do. I held a firm belief at the time that I was a winning live player, but knew that online poker was a different game entirely. I had just under £1000 in my bank from my birthday, but knew that could soon vanish. I decided upon a $400 deposit on Full Tilt Poker. Within a week of playing $25nl cash, I'd doubled my initial deposit. I felt unbeatable and started taking shots at $50NL and even $100NL. I had little idea of bankroll management at the time. Looking back, the sample size from which I won that money was laughable.
The heater finally wore off, and my previous account balance of $900 had diminished to just $200. I had no idea what to do. I finally found 6 max turbo sit and gos and these became my main game. I was going to college at the time and making a fair amount of money playing them on the side. I'd applied to University and had conditional offers from various institutions to study Business. Over the summer, my plan was to grind the 6 max turbos as a job and enjoy my time off before starting University in September.
After finishing my exams, I began just that. I was the happiest I'd ever been. I had as much financial secruity as a low stakes sng player who'd just finished college could have. I had great friends who I met up and went out with on a regular basis. After 6 months of hard work I had a girlfriend.
Just when my life felt as complete as it could for an 18 year-old, it got turned upside down. A couple of weeks into my summer, the site I played on, Full Tilt Poker got shut down by the US department of justice. All players on the site, could no longer access their accounts. You couldn't play poker, you couldn't withdraw your funds. Suddenly my entire liferoll was in limbo. I still had some money in my bank account, but much of which had been spent on my new computer.
A couple failed deposits on different sites later, and my dreams of having a carefree summer was lost. I had lost all the money to my name. I was in limbo, praying for Full Tilt Poker to reopen.
That summer was the hardest of my life. I lost faith in my ability to play the game that I loved, which in turn caused me to lose faith in myself. I no longer wanted to see my friends, my girlfriend, or even spend time with my family - All because I left like a failure. Slowly everything I'd worked for over the past year had been taken away from me. I felt as though I had nothing. My relationship with my friends deteriorated and I no longer wanted to do anything or see anyone. I pushed everyone away. My girlfriend wanted to work through everything, but I wanted nothing to do with her. We eventually broke up.
University -
Eventually August came and I collected my exam results. They were good enough for me to study Business Management at Bath Spa University. So with my mind now on University and not poker, I felt a rejuvination. I saw my friends for one last night out before I before I left. The atmosphere was unbelievable, it was as though everyone was beginning a new chapter of their lives, whether it be work, university or travel.
The next day, feeling worse for ware, I moved to Bath. I felt a mixture of emotions but ultimately I was glad summer was over. I was really lucky to be put with great flatmates who I've got on with since day one. Freshers week was incredible. For anyone not familiar, freshers is the first week of University and it essentially comprises of a week of drinking/socialising. During the next few months I got on with my University, but I couldn't help but feel as though something was missing.
Fast forward a few months and a few more failed deposits later, with my poker bankroll on Full Tilt still in limbo, I felt disguisted in myself. How can I go from making a healthy amount over thousands of SNG's, to being a complete loser? Looking back, it was my own fault. I was playing cash way outside the restraints of my bankroll. But at the time - losing felt like the worst thing in the world.
Skypoker -
That brings us to December, when I made the transition to Skypoker. I put £15 on the site, and after winning a small tournament, I just had enough of a roll to begin playing the £5 Double or Nothings. To my surprise I was actually winning at them! In the two weeks of December I turned a £15 deposit into over £400. I felt incredible. However, it wasn't the money itself that made me happy. More importantly, it was the belief in myself that the money gave me. After such a painful and low period of my life. A period that I wouldn't wish on anyone - I was back.
Christmas came, and I went home during the middle of December. I decided not to take my big computer/dual monitors home with me because I'd be going to Mexico for most of the time period. Due to not having my computer, I wouldn't be able to mass multi-table the double or nothing's like I was used to. Boredom soon sunk in and I couldn't resist HU/6 Max cash. Running bad and playing worse, I lost most of my bankroll in a couple of days. After the holiday, I went back to University as soon as I could - back to the poker grind. All went well and within a week I was well on track to rebuilding my roll.
I had rebuilt my roll back to over £300, but then came Friday the 13th. I lost over half my roll within the space of 2 hours. I lost so many coolers in a row, I was in pure disbelief. I lost with AA to KK, QQ to JJ, AK to AJ, AK to AQ in what felt like 20 times in the space of two hours.
It felt like a bad dream, like I'd wake up any moment. At this point I could have quit. My account still had the same amount as a week prior. Yet I just wanted to escape the pain. It was though I just wanted it to be all over. I lost the rest within 20 minutes playing PLO. So there I was, in pure dismay. I once again had nothing. The next couple months were a blurr.
March -
Fast forward to March and I was considering selling my entire computer setup. From the 'gaming' desktop to the dual montiors. Everytime I woke up, my computer was there. My datebase of hands, my former graphs, the dual monitors. All for one purpose, poker.
With my money still locked up in Full Tilt Poker, I felt as though it was time for me to give it one last shot. If this wouldn't work, I would quit. I just couldn't put myself through the anguish of gaining so much mentally, and then having it taken away at the blink of an eye. I finally decided to put £100 into my poker account with the intention of playing as many Double or Nothings as I could, praying to succeed.
March proved to be a success. My bankroll grew by the day, and I was soon 12 tabling a mixture of £5.50 and £11 Double or Nothings. About a week into March, I realised I was actually on pace to reach Priority club (£1000 in rake for the month) - something I didn't think was possible at such a low buy in level. During March I played an incredible amount.
March was a long but fulfilling month. By the end I was so sick of SNGs and Poker! I actually made Priority club with a day to spare, even after taking 3 days off during the course of the month. Including cash for points, I'd grown my roll from just £100 to £1000. I was truly overwhelmed. But once again, it wasn't the financial gain that benefitted me the most. It was the sense of acomplishment. I had finally proved to myself that I was a winning poker player. All the self-doubt left me that day. I felt blessed.
'You won't truly be successful until you say, I dont need that money, because I've got it in here."
April and Beyond -
Because I played so many STT's between Jan-March I was eligable to participate in the Team Skypoker tournament. The top 30 players based on volume played from each donomination: cash, mtts and stts - were invited into a tournament with the chance to win a sponsorship package and represent the site. I believe a total of 87 people entered the tournament, and the top 6 would win a sponsorship package.
I'd looked forward to the tournament for weeks, telling close friends and family of my oppertunity to represent the site. During the middle of April, the time finally came to play it. I slowly bled chips for the first hour and my hope of a sponsorship deal faided. Just when I thought my chance was over, I got involved in one big pot. A calling station was on my right and he was defending his blind a huge amount. I was forced to wait for value hands. Eventually I was dealt AK and I raised from the sb. The station called and I hit top pair. I bet 3/4 pot on both the flop and turn. The river was scary as it paired the board. Against a better opponent I'd check fold the river, but I knew this player would call worse. I decided to shove, repping a missed draw. My opponent tank called top pair...... worse kicker, giving me a much needed double up.
From there, I slowly built up chips. My Jacks held up against KJ and before I knew it, we were down to the final 20. Eventually came the bubble, when the tournament was down to 7 players. With only 6 sponsorship packages, one player would be left empty handed. I had a tough table, with the respectable LOL_Raise to my left. I was in a dominant position, and with the blinds high, I was shoving wide to steal. But then, disaster. My shove was called off and my hand was dominanted, I lost and my chip stack cripped. I was down to a lowly 30,000, with the average around 55,000. I was at serious risk of being the bubble boy. Thoughts of failure were entering my head, believed I had once again let my chance slip.
However, over the course of the next few hands my aggression paid off and after 3 bet shoving wide, I was once again in a dominant position. LOL_Raise shoved UTG and was called by an opponent with a very similar chip stack. LOL_Raise actually got lucky when his outkicked ace paired the board. It was over. I had done it. I had won a Skypoker sponsorship package. After that tournament I felt comfortable in my ability to play poker. However, more importantly, I finally felt comfortable with myself.
Final Thoughts -
The Team Skypoker tournament has given me something intangible, something that can never be taken away from me. Even if I never win a hand of poker again, I wouldn't feel a sense of failure like that of before. I'd be happy because if it wasn't for the mistakes I'd previously made, I wouldn't be where I am today, not only in poker but in life.
'Sometimes, it's the most difficult times that make us grow, gain compassion and empathy and find strength we never realised we had.'
Present Day -
I currently still play the £5.50 and £11 double or nothings, with the intention of moving up through the stakes as my bankroll grows. My goal is to buy a Rolex Datejust by the end of this year as a symbol and reminder to myself - that dedication and hard work can ultimately pay off. I'm currently ranked top 20 for sharkscope 2012 leaderboard 'any game by network - Sky'.
In July I'll be playing the £550 GUKPT, and in September I'll be playing the SPT main event at Dusk Til Dawn. Both paid for under my Sponsorship deal.
I thank you for reading my journey so far. I'll try to keep motivated and update this thread as much as possible and please feel free to post any questions. I look forward to playing on the same table/s as you on the felt.
-
Patrick Walsh
(patwalshh)
Comments
We're in desperate need of some more diaries
Only joking, good luck, I'll pop in regular.
Good start Pat, I'm looking forward to seeing what happens next.
Edit; I've now read the parts you posted after my original reply. Great story. Hopefully you'll be getting that FTP money back soon if the rumours are true.
and good luck with building your roll
:-)
devon
I remember just arriving at your table, and the first hand I watched you agonise tank fold AKs in the BB. I was like what? surely you have to call.
Then i saw the result, you were up against AA and KK i think! it was a great fold, reads ftw...
Anyway, i look forward to reading about your progress and gl.
wp for team sky poker. gl.
Best of luck mate.
Love the intro to your diary. Gives us a full insight into your poker world.
Will look forward to reading this somemore.
GL
Daz
Congratulations on the sky sponsorship, great achivement
played many DYMs with you and i have no doubt your fly up through the levels
Good luck with your journey, see you at the tables
Mondo
Only jesting, nice read.
Any player that can mainly stick to the double or nothing stt format deserves credit for the grind they have to put in .
Some pretty nice acheivements you've accomplished already... do you have any targets in mind for your next goal, other than buying a rolex and taking down a GUKPT obv?