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Football chants

EssexphilEssexphil Member Posts: 7,999
edited February 2023 in The Rail
I have always loved the best football chants. No, not records featuring footballers, they are usually excruciatingly bad. Proper, fan chants that make me smile. Some examples:-

Ralphy Ralphy Coates. Ralphy Ralphy Coates. He's got no hair, we don't care, Ralphy Ralphy Coates

He's French, he's quick, his name's a p0rno flick, Emanuel (Petit)

(At Colchester's terrible old Layer Road ground) WBA fans chant of "My shed's bigger than this"

PS. Trivia question of the day:-

Which famous footballer appeared twice singing separate songs on the same episode of Top if the Pops?
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    rabdenirorabdeniro Member Posts: 4,223
    Might be Gazza.
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    goldongoldon Member Posts: 8,489
    Stay till the end ....last one the best !

    https://youtu.be/mm62RmV3p_w
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    goldongoldon Member Posts: 8,489
    Sorry Phil may have derailed your Thread for the " You'll never walk alone " Songs.!

    But you did say Chants. ?
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    EssexphilEssexphil Member Posts: 7,999
    rabdeniro said:

    Might be Gazza.

    No.

    Clue:-he is Scottish
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    rabdenirorabdeniro Member Posts: 4,223
    Must be Johnny Wark.
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    stokefcstokefc Member Posts: 7,634
    I remember down at Stoke back in the early 90s and would be totally unacceptable today
    when we had the rivalry with Vale and John Rudge was Vales manager
    "He's bald he's b ent his ar$e is up for rent Johnny Rudge Johnny Rudge" echoing around the ground
    Ironically Johnny Rudge went on to work with Stoke for a good years and was well respected
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    pompeynicpompeynic Member Posts: 2,821
    Heard at Grimsby’s Blundell Park
    Cod, Mackerel, Haddock, Plaice, your ground’s an effin disgrace .

    Once at Sheffield United I was unfortunate enough to be stationed near John Portsmouth Football Club Westwood , after being warned, on numerous occasions, by a local member of the constabulary , regarding his swearing, John was about to explode, when the man in black gave yet another decision against his beloved team. He reared to his full height and yelled...
    The referee is a self pleasurer, the referee is a self pleasurer.
    Cue raucous laughter not only from the fans but also from the men in uniform.
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    pompeynicpompeynic Member Posts: 2,821
    When the ball hits your head
    And you’re sat in row z
    That’s Zamora la la la la la la la la la
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    waller02waller02 Member Posts: 9,014
    edited February 2023
    pompeynic said:

    Heard at Grimsby’s Blundell Park
    Cod, Mackerel, Haddock, Plaice, your ground’s an effin disgrace
    .

    Once at Sheffield United I was unfortunate enough to be stationed near John Portsmouth Football Club Westwood , after being warned, on numerous occasions, by a local member of the constabulary , regarding his swearing, John was about to explode, when the man in black gave yet another decision against his beloved team. He reared to his full height and yelled...
    The referee is a self pleasurer, the referee is a self pleasurer.
    Cue raucous laughter not only from the fans but also from the men in uniform.

    Oi

    Good lads/lasses the Pompey fans to be fair, had a good drink with them last time they came to our place a few seasons back
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    EssexphilEssexphil Member Posts: 7,999
    rabdeniro said:

    Must be Johnny Wark.

    Still no.

    Had a drink with him once-jeez that man could put a few away.
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    TheEdge949TheEdge949 Member Posts: 5,157
    edited February 2023
    I always liked our Kenwynne Jones song. To the tune of My old Man's a Dustman.

    "Kenwynne is a Stokie.
    He hails from Tinidad
    He looks like Whoopi Goldberg
    His hair is fkn mad
    He came to Stoke from Sunderland
    This is what he said
    Steve Bruce is a w@nker
    With a big fat fkn head"
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    stokefcstokefc Member Posts: 7,634
    It's all a bit mundane now up Stoke now Mark isn't it after what's gone on over the last 6 years or so , the odd oh when the reds and a sped up Delilah when we score an odd goal that's it really
    I remember at the Vic another John Rudge song being sung loud
    Johnny Rudge is illegitimate
    He aint got no birth certificate
    Johnny Rudge is illegitimate
    He's a Vale ba$tard
    With the ba$tard bit going on and on
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    TheEdge949TheEdge949 Member Posts: 5,157
    Yes mate, I don't like the, If Stoke go down, we all go down chant. Delilah's got boring, bread, bread got killed when Stewards started confiscating the bread during searches and as for everything else its just mundane and pathetic. Although "How s**t must you be. We're winning away" at Swansea on Tuesday did make me chuckle.
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    TheEdge949TheEdge949 Member Posts: 5,157
    Essexphil said:

    rabdeniro said:

    Might be Gazza.

    No.

    Clue:-he is Scottish
    Alan Brazil ?
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    EssexphilEssexphil Member Posts: 7,999

    Essexphil said:

    rabdeniro said:

    Might be Gazza.

    No.

    Clue:-he is Scottish
    Alan Brazil ?
    No. But close.
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    rabdenirorabdeniro Member Posts: 4,223
    George Burley ?.
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    mumsiemumsie Member Posts: 7,350
    edited February 2023
    Was one of the songs, We're on the march with Alis army ?
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    lucy4lucy4 Member Posts: 7,028
    Who actually makes up/decides on the chants is there a special chant division in each fan group that accept or denies chants ?
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    EssexphilEssexphil Member Posts: 7,999
    mumsie said:

    Was one of the songs, We're on the march with Alis army ?

    No, but close.

    "We have a dream" by B A Robertson was 1 of the 2 songs...
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    TheEdge949TheEdge949 Member Posts: 5,157
    lucy4 said:

    Who actually makes up/decides on the chants is there a special chant division in each fan group that accept or denies chants ?

    Just shout it out and if others like it then it catches on, if not you usually hear a chant of.

    "On your own, on your own, on your own"
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