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Why

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  • TheEdge949TheEdge949 Member Posts: 5,679
    I remember my wife once asking me to cut her hair.

    "How do you want" it I asked.

    "Can you make me look like Barbara Streisand" she replied.

    "Absolutely" I said, and hit her in the face with her hairdryer.

    N.B this is a joke, I abhor violence, especially to women. I mean how are they supposed to cook and clean if they're injured.

    N.B. N.B That's also a joke
  • goldongoldon Member Posts: 9,032
    edited May 2020
    You touch my hair ......... I break your legs.



  • goldongoldon Member Posts: 9,032
    edited May 2020
    Cake Shops could struggle what with everyone buying flour baking their own Cakes & Bread.
    or will People slip back into ( can't be asked ) there only £1. 50p



  • chillingchilling Member Posts: 3,774
    goldon said:

    Cake Shops could struggle what with everyone buying flour baking there own Cakes & Bread.
    or will People slip back into ( can't be asked ) there only £1. 50p



    More sugar than flour there me thinks.
  • goldongoldon Member Posts: 9,032
    Strange weight loss resulted in me needing string to hold my trousers up.
    Never needed anything before so Wife'y said she'll get me leather belt from the shops.
    Comes home with trouser belt ...... no holes too fasten it. What!
    One size fits all she said, but there's no holes. !
    You make your own ...... it's a snake belt. No it's not.!
    Traditional Elastic Snake Belt

    what she comes home with is this......

    clever just push the pin through anywhere makes it's own hole. Happy with me Trouser Snake.

  • goldongoldon Member Posts: 9,032
    "TOY STORY"


  • goldongoldon Member Posts: 9,032
    Out on the Doorstep clapping N.H.S when neighbour across the road shouted over.
    Sorry, apologised for his House Alarm going off in the middle of the Night.
    "Never heard it, I said. " It was really loud, he said. "Nope never heard it, nor the Wife."
    I sleep like a Log and Wife lays with good ear on the pillow & deaf ear to my side. cough!
    He laughed and said, don't all women have a deaf ear. Yip! but they can hear £20 note fall on the floor.
    Only the last two weeks the hole street are out with the kids banging baking tins nice support is growing & rightly so.

  • goldongoldon Member Posts: 9,032
    David Icke. Nut case or Mighty Oak.
    Quote: Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut, that held its ground.
    Is he holding his ground with 20 books to his credit lectured 25 Countries, if he's such a nut why silence him, let him dig the hole.........the world is well aware of fake news with the Media full of it, people are able to decide which is which. Spin the Spin.


  • goldongoldon Member Posts: 9,032
    edited May 2020
    I've booked two week Holiday to Ireland..
    Travel Agent said, you will have to make it six week Holiday...
    "Why! I asked," well, you will spend 14 days quarantine on arrival then same on return.
    Ok! think I'll go to France instead........... .The Man Who Was Stuck in Paris Airport for 18 Years.

    Mm! maybe not.......
  • goldongoldon Member Posts: 9,032
    The Silent Enemy

    “The bigger funeral companies come with larger vehicles and slide eight bodies in at a time, it’s mad,” he recalled. “You don’t really realize the scale of this virus until you see all the bodies.”

    Should the Media start showing the invisible foe....... before we forget it exists.

  • goldongoldon Member Posts: 9,032
    Threads are like Webs & Spiders don't give up. ......
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2WBln5lD42Y
  • chillingchilling Member Posts: 3,774
    goldon said:

    The Silent Enemy

    “The bigger funeral companies come with larger vehicles and slide eight bodies in at a time, it’s mad,” he recalled. “You don’t really realize the scale of this virus until you see all the bodies.”

    Should the Media start showing the invisible foe....... before we forget it exists.

    It’s basically phlegm.
    So, no thanks.
  • goldongoldon Member Posts: 9,032
    U in my Web ......... stop wriggling about. cough!


  • chillingchilling Member Posts: 3,774
    goldon said:

    Threads are like Webs & Spiders don't give up. ......
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2WBln5lD42Y


    Nice to see a construction worker back on the job.
  • goldongoldon Member Posts: 9,032
    Worth staying safe just to get to the end of this video and say You've Been Ta

    https://youtu.be/NhOeG-uTJxw
  • goldongoldon Member Posts: 9,032
    Not any bee's in my Garden yet ...... so guess what's just arrived in Britain.


  • chillingchilling Member Posts: 3,774
    goldon said:

    Not any bee's in my Garden yet ...... so guess what's just arrived in Britain.


    As always, there’s been a leak.

  • goldongoldon Member Posts: 9,032
    BEE'N sting in the tail.......... buzzzzzzzzzz
  • goldongoldon Member Posts: 9,032
    Not the best roll model in the world. cough! But ? People can turn their lives around.
    There is Good & Evil in everyone. TheEdge949 should donate a passage

  • TheEdge949TheEdge949 Member Posts: 5,679
    goldon said:

    Not the best roll model in the world. cough! But ? People can turn their lives around.
    There is Good & Evil in everyone. TheEdge949 should donate a passage

    Do not judge, and you will not be judged.
    Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned.
    Forgive, and you will be forgiven.
    Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap.
    For with it, the measure you use, will be measured to you

    Luke Ch 6 v 37-38
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