You need to be logged in to your Sky Poker account above to post discussions and comments.

You might need to refresh your page afterwards.

In difficult times...humour helps!( well me it does)

14445464850

Comments

  • tai-gartai-gar Member Posts: 1,802
    VespaPX said:

    I'm with the science on this one


    Always a happy ending.
  • TheEdge949TheEdge949 Member Posts: 3,601
    tai-gar said:

    VespaPX said:

    I'm with the science on this one


    Always a happy ending.
    The missus says that apparently I'm catching Covid.
  • VespaPXVespaPX Member Posts: 9,249
  • VespaPXVespaPX Member Posts: 9,249
  • EssexphilEssexphil Member Posts: 5,375
    edited March 16
    My wife says, under certain circumstances, she is prepared to risk Covid. Not prepared to take her medicine, even though I have assured her I was only thinking of her ;)

    On a lighter, gallows humour type note, all these pictures of wounded people reminds me of an old joke (do I have any other kind?)

    2nd World War. Churchill has gone to some far-flung outpost, and is visiting an Army Hospital. There are 3 patients. And the only medicine is a hand cream-no PPE-not even gloves.

    "Name?" "Private Smith, Sir"
    Injury? "Shrapnel wound causing semi-severed pen is, Sir"
    Treatment? "Nurse applies cream to affected parts, Sir"
    Ambition? "To get back and fight for Queen and country, Sir"

    And then...
    Name? "Private Jones, Sir"
    Injury? "Shrapnel wound causing extensive damage to my ar se, Sir"
    Treatment? "Nurse applies cream to affected parts, Sir"
    Ambition? "To get back and fight for Queen and country, Sir"

    And...
    Name? "Private Green, Sir"
    Injury? "Bullet fragment lodged in my tongue, Sir"
    Treatment? "Nurse applies cream to affected parts, Sir"
    Ambition? "To get given the cream before those 2 bast ards, Sir"
  • TheEdge949TheEdge949 Member Posts: 3,601
    Essexphil said:

    My wife says, under certain circumstances, she is prepared to risk Covid. Not prepared to take her medicine, even though I have assured her I was only thinking of her ;)

    On a lighter, gallows humour type note, all these pictures of wounded people reminds me of an old joke (do I have any other kind?)

    2nd World War. Churchill has gone to some far-flung outpost, and is visiting an Army Hospital. There are 3 patients. And the only medicine is a hand cream-no PPE-not even gloves.

    "Name?" "Private Smith, Sir"
    Injury? "Shrapnel wound causing semi-severed pen is, Sir"
    Treatment? "Nurse applies cream to affected parts, Sir"
    Ambition? "To get back and fight for Queen and country, Sir"

    And then...
    Name? "Private Jones, Sir"
    Injury? "Shrapnel wound causing extensive damage to my ar se, Sir"
    Treatment? "Nurse applies cream to affected parts, Sir"
    Ambition? "To get back and fight for Queen and country, Sir"

    And...
    Name? "Private Green, Sir"
    Injury? "Bullet fragment lodged in my tongue, Sir"
    Treatment? "Nurse applies cream to affected parts, Sir"
    Ambition? "To get given the cream before those 2 bast ards, Sir"

    Erm KING and Country back then Phil. C'mon do pay attention 007.
  • EssexphilEssexphil Member Posts: 5,375

    Essexphil said:

    My wife says, under certain circumstances, she is prepared to risk Covid. Not prepared to take her medicine, even though I have assured her I was only thinking of her ;)

    On a lighter, gallows humour type note, all these pictures of wounded people reminds me of an old joke (do I have any other kind?)

    2nd World War. Churchill has gone to some far-flung outpost, and is visiting an Army Hospital. There are 3 patients. And the only medicine is a hand cream-no PPE-not even gloves.

    "Name?" "Private Smith, Sir"
    Injury? "Shrapnel wound causing semi-severed pen is, Sir"
    Treatment? "Nurse applies cream to affected parts, Sir"
    Ambition? "To get back and fight for Queen and country, Sir"

    And then...
    Name? "Private Jones, Sir"
    Injury? "Shrapnel wound causing extensive damage to my ar se, Sir"
    Treatment? "Nurse applies cream to affected parts, Sir"
    Ambition? "To get back and fight for Queen and country, Sir"

    And...
    Name? "Private Green, Sir"
    Injury? "Bullet fragment lodged in my tongue, Sir"
    Treatment? "Nurse applies cream to affected parts, Sir"
    Ambition? "To get given the cream before those 2 bast ards, Sir"

    Erm KING and Country back then Phil. C'mon do pay attention 007.
    Agreed. I sometimes forget just how old my jokes are. Even the ones in Latin ;)
  • TheEdge949TheEdge949 Member Posts: 3,601
    Ah well you know what they say;

    Nil desperandum carburundun illegtami.

    Which as any Latin speaker will quickly tell you is really just a pseudo Anglo / Latin pun before all you Latin Scholars jump on me.
  • EssexphilEssexphil Member Posts: 5,375

    Ah well you know what they say;

    Nil desperandum carburundun illegtami.

    Which as any Latin speaker will quickly tell you is really just a pseudo Anglo / Latin pun before all you Latin Scholars jump on me.

    It is odd that, even after all these years, a Latin joke can help me conjugate Latin verbs.

    The scene? Lower 4th Latin (yes, that posh). Latin teacher picks on thick kid-who, for once, is fully prepared. Kid is asked to decline the verb adiuvo.

    Starts really slowly, as though doesn't know the answer.

    Adiuvo, er, er, adiuvas, un, er, um, adiuvat...adiuvamus, adiuvatis, adiuworried!

    Without that (and remembering they (plural) is adiuvant) I would never remember-which shows the power of jokes.

    PS-adiuvo is Latin for to help-hence adjutant, etc
    PPS-Latin speakers? Latin is the language of the dead :)
  • stokefcstokefc Member Posts: 6,335
    Talking of old jokes
    What do you call a scouser in a suit

    The accused
  • GlenelgGlenelg Member Posts: 5,904
    Latin...

    Ah well you know what they say;

    Nil desperandum carburundun illegtami.

    Which as any Latin speaker will quickly tell you is really just a pseudo Anglo / Latin pun before all you Latin Scholars jump on me.

    Wow...latin..now that brings back memories. Believe it or not (& its gonna be hard to believe)
    I had to learn latin when my mum decided i was gonna be an altar boy. I was 7/8. Anyhoo..
    Theres a bit in the ceremony where in latin you had to (then) recite....mia culpa, mia culpa, mia maxima culpa. (I know, but stay with me..)
    Anyhoo, Chief altar boy was a bit of a comedian and his take on it was....me a cowboy, me a cowboy, me a mexican cowboy. My tenure didnt last long...but what memories...
  • goldongoldon Member Posts: 6,595
    Bin there got the tea shirt never understood a word when voice broke got the tin tack.
  • goldongoldon Member Posts: 6,595
    Vicar used to tell us " If you sing like an Angel you'll go to Heaven.
  • lucy4lucy4 Member Posts: 4,721
  • VespaPXVespaPX Member Posts: 9,249
    What?


  • lucy4lucy4 Member Posts: 4,721
    VespaPX said:

    What?


    I posted this many years ago on Face Book.


  • VespaPXVespaPX Member Posts: 9,249
    Morning campers


  • lucy4lucy4 Member Posts: 4,721
  • lucy4lucy4 Member Posts: 4,721
  • goldongoldon Member Posts: 6,595
    WOMEN SLAP HADER THAN MEN.

Sign In or Register to comment.