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In difficult times...humour helps!( well me it does)

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  • madprofmadprof Member Posts: 3,458
  • goldongoldon Member Posts: 9,056
    Some People are not sticking to the rules " Stay Home "

    Phillip Schofield moves out of his £2m Oxfordshire family home.
    12 hours ago - Phillip Schofield has left the family home in Oxfordshire he shared with his wife of 27 years only weeks after announcing on daytime television ...

  • Red_KingRed_King Member Posts: 2,850
    goldon said:

    Some People are not sticking to the rules " Stay Home "

    Phillip Schofield moves out of his £2m Oxfordshire family home.
    12 hours ago - Phillip Schofield has left the family home in Oxfordshire he shared with his wife of 27 years only weeks after announcing on daytime television ...


    You're too late, He's already come out :D
  • madprofmadprof Member Posts: 3,458
    5 people on a plane about to crash but only 4 parachutes available...Boris Johnson, Nicola Sturgeon, Donald Trump, The pope and a 10 year old boy

    Bojo rushes forward and says “ I’ve got to save the UK from Covid and get us out of Europe”, picks up a parachute and jumps out

    Nicola Sturgeon comes forward and says “ I’ve got to save the Scotland from Boris and keep us in Europe”, picks up a parachute and jumps out

    The Donald pushes the pope and the boy over screaming “ I’ve got to save the USA from Chinaflu and get myself re-elected as I’m the most intelligent man in America”, picks up a parachute, laughs hysterically and jumps out


    The pope says “ My child, I’m an old man and leader of the Catholic faith but you must take the last parachute and I will trust in god....”

    The 10year old says “ Don’t worry your grace.There are still 2 parachutes... The leader of the free world and the USA’s most Intelligent man took my school rucksack.....”

  • Red_KingRed_King Member Posts: 2,850
  • Red_KingRed_King Member Posts: 2,850
  • Red_KingRed_King Member Posts: 2,850
  • Red_KingRed_King Member Posts: 2,850
  • goldongoldon Member Posts: 9,056
    When people in the Arab Emirates watched " The Flintstones " and saw Fred & Wilma coughing it was said, they had the Coronavirus . The people in Dubai didn't think they had, but the people in Abu Dhabi do.
  • chillingchilling Member Posts: 3,774

    chilling said:


    Funny as fk, caught me mid swig

    Just sprayed Stella all over the laptop
    Any thoughts Mark?




  • chillingchilling Member Posts: 3,774
  • TheEdge949TheEdge949 Member Posts: 5,686
    chilling said:

    chilling said:


    Funny as fk, caught me mid swig

    Just sprayed Stella all over the laptop
    Any thoughts Mark?




    Anything that keeps that lot from knocking would probably be welcome.

    On a personal note though I really don't mind them calling at mine cos it means I get to have a really good laugh as I pick holes in their argument.

    Sometimes it's better than the telly, although they don't come round very often anymore.
  • lucy4lucy4 Member Posts: 7,937
    edited May 2020
    Not sure if this belongs here or the conspiracy thread... :D


  • goldongoldon Member Posts: 9,056
    Young Woman takes her Gran to the Doctors with sore throat thinking she could have "Coronavirus" the Receptionist shows them in to see the Doctor telling him she's come regard sore throat.
    The Doctor tells her to go behind the screen take all her clothes off and lay on the bed.
    She says, but Doctor it's not me with the sore throat it's my Gran.!
    OK, tell her to stick her tongue out.
  • VespaPXVespaPX Member Posts: 12,399
  • chillingchilling Member Posts: 3,774
  • Red_KingRed_King Member Posts: 2,850
    edited May 2020
    Crazy conspiracy theories

    3. Vodka Can Be Used As Hand Sanitiser
    Despite official information advising the public to use hand sanitiser with an alcohol content of at least 60%, this does not mean that your regular bottle of vodka will do the same job. Unfortunately, 32% of adults in the UK surveyed by YouGov believe this to be true. Best to stick to the anti-bacterial gel rather than the booze.

    13. Drinking Cow Urine Also Protects Against Covid-19
    Next up in the series of substances that are claimed to stop the effects of Covid-19 - cow urine. Yup, in India, over 200 people amassed (not a great idea in itself during social distancing) to drink cow urine whilst posing next to a caricature of Coronavirus. In Hinduism cows are considered sacred, with some followers of the religion believing their urine holds medicinal properties.

    Inevitably, there have been no studies proving that the consumption of cow urine protects against or aids the effects of Covid-19. We'd stick with staying at home and washing your hands.🤢🤮

  • chillingchilling Member Posts: 3,774
    edited May 2020
    Red_King said:

    Crazy conspiracy theories

    3. Vodka Can Be Used As Hand Sanitiser
    Despite official information advising the public to use hand sanitiser with an alcohol content of at least 60%, this does not mean that your regular bottle of vodka will do the same job. Unfortunately, 32% of adults in the UK surveyed by YouGov believe this to be true. Best to stick to the anti-bacterial gel rather than the booze.

    13. Drinking Cow Urine Also Protects Against Covid-19
    Next up in the series of substances that are claimed to stop the effects of Covid-19 - cow urine. Yup, in India, over 200 people amassed (not a great idea in itself during social distancing) to drink cow urine whilst posing next to a caricature of Coronavirus. In Hinduism cows are considered sacred, with some followers of the religion believing their urine holds medicinal properties.

    Inevitably, there have been no studies proving that the consumption of cow urine protects against or aids the effects of Covid-19. We'd stick with staying at home and washing your hands.🤢🤮

    Strange what people believe in some countries.
    Like the Chinese believing Rhino horn works wonders for certain things.
    The Indians believing an old cow is sacred.
    And in the U.K, folks eating cakes leads to having that cut look.
    Chips maybe, but cakes, no way.
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