I've just read your diary from start to finish and feel yhe need to warn you. When i see the phraes, "feeling like a failure" after going on tilt or not fulfilling your goals cash-wise then i worried for you. I could see that you'd have been in a depressed state at different stages of your 'journey'. Not just down but medically depressed. There were lots of signs, believe me. You need to reassess what is important to you and introduce balance into your life. Life shouldn't be a poker grind. You need a 'bucket list' of things you want to do and achieve in your life with both short and long term goals. To be honest, your daily life seemed rather sad and disjointed at first with every day being exactly the same. Ask yourself..."What do i remember doing or planning for that gave me a buzz or sense of achievement away from poker. You may well be a good player but the sites are littered with the empty bank accounts of good players making poor decisions. You need a plan and a reward system for yourself. I feel that you need to look at the 'mental side of poker' and how iit affects you. Why not treat yourself to the book of the same name by Jared Tendhlar. As a young man, you don't see how much you have to look forward to in your life. take opportunities and don't judge yourself too harshly. Confide in a trusted friend and look to get enjoyment from your life. A few extra pounds here and there doesn't provide a lifetime of happiness. This may seem a bit hardball and i was going to explain in a private email but i've decided to tell you openly so that anyone can see. My bother Mark thought he was a failure in life. he said so in some of his writings. In his case, he was looking for God and had not thought he'd achieved that. After being diagnosed with depression he committed suicide 12 years ago. He was a wonderful person with a poor impression of himself. So, mate, enjoy life. take the fun from it and learn from your mistakes but move onward and upward. I wish you well in your studies and your poker. just put the balance into your life. All the best Steve aka profman15
Hi Pat, I've just read your diary from start to finish and feel yhe need to warn you. When i see the phraes, "feeling like a failure" after going on tilt or not fulfilling your goals cash-wise then i worried for you. I could see that you'd have been in a depressed state at different stages of your 'journey'. Not just down but medically depressed. There were lots of signs, believe me. You need to reassess what is important to you and introduce balance into your life. Life shouldn't be a poker grind. You need a 'bucket list' of things you want to do and achieve in your life with both short and long term goals. To be honest, your daily life seemed rather sad and disjointed at first with every day being exactly the same. Ask yourself..."What do i remember doing or planning for that gave me a buzz or sense of achievement away from poker. You may well be a good player but the sites are littered with the empty bank accounts of good players making poor decisions. You need a plan and a reward system for yourself. I feel that you need to look at the 'mental side of poker' and how iit affects you. Why not treat yourself to the book of the same name by Jared Tendhlar. As a young man, you don't see how much you have to look forward to in your life. take opportunities and don't judge yourself too harshly. Confide in a trusted friend and look to get enjoyment from your life. A few extra pounds here and there doesn't provide a lifetime of happiness. This may seem a bit hardball and i was going to explain in a private email but i've decided to tell you openly so that anyone can see. My bother Mark thought he was a failure in life. he said so in some of his writings. In his case, he was looking for God and had not thought he'd achieved that. After being diagnosed with depression he committed suicide 12 years ago. He was a wonderful person with a poor impression of himself. So, mate, enjoy life. take the fun from it and learn from your mistakes but move onward and upward. I wish you well in your studies and your poker. just put the balance into your life. All the best Steve aka profman15 Posted by profman15
Very good post from you once again mate and so sorry for you for the loss of your brother.
I appreciate your personal input Steve, and I can't begin to contemplate how hard it must be to lose a loved one. I feel that my comments are being taken out of proportion, mainly because I'm basing this as a blog about my 'poker journey' and not as a life blog. I do not set myself cash targets, whether that be daily, weekly or even monthly. Nor do I get too disheartened about having losing days.
As of now, I'm at university studying Business. As well as my studies, I play American Football. Like any student, I socialise with friends and go on frequent nights out. I previously chose to share my blog with one of my flatmates. I fully feel that I have a well balanced life, although I can understand how it may appear to be centered around poker - as this is a Poker blog. I fully intent for Poker to be a means to an end. Once again, thank you for your comments, and I'm sorry for your loss. I hope you continue to follow my progress. Best of luck at the tables.
I'm going to make this thread a little bit more like a life blog to make this more diverse. Results from £5.50 DYMs can be tedious I know.. Watched the England game at the pub last night (we played dreadful) and went to a friends BBQ last night afterwards. Free food always goes down well.
I've really been motivated with the gym recently. I seem to go through stages where I'll get really good gains, I'm lifting heavier weights, and then I lose motivation and subsequently lose my progress. But with the summer in full swing, it's a nice time to get back into it properly, instead of a half-hearted couple times a week. I'm pescatarian too which makes it a little harder. Going to buy a ton of food tomorrow from sainsburies, fish, fish, fish. I'm always happy to talk about gym/working out stuff.
The sun continues to shine, which makes grinding a lot harder, not to mention the games loading much slower. To add to this my room is like an oven - I need to invest in a fan. Great day today, ran really good in the DYMs. I've only been playing the £5.50s recently, simply because the £11s aren't running as often as I'd like, and I don't fancy playing 8 £5.50s and 2 £11s.
Resorted to playing cash for a little bit (10 minutes is all I could stand.. limp, limp, limp, 6x bb raise, call, call, call), Had a hand that made me want to puke. It was so close on the river, just because the board was so polorised. Made worse by the fact I had no notes/history with villian. See what you think anyway.
Hand isn't posting.. again. Will have to write out.
In Response to Re: Patwalshh - My Ongoing Journey : I don't really follow the NFL that much, but if I had to pick it'd be Arizona. How about you? Posted by patwalshh
In Response to Re: Patwalshh - My Ongoing Journey : Ahh nice, I don't really follow it. If you played AF, what position would you play? -- Month round up coming Friday, hope I run good between now and then! Posted by patwalshh
Never thought about it before - I've put on a few pounds recently so I'd probably have to be an offensive lineman... Sigh.
In Response to Re: Patwalshh - My Ongoing Journey : Never thought about it before - I've put on a few pounds recently so I'd probably have to be an offensive lineman... Sigh. Posted by EvilPingu
May is over - which also signifies the end of my University exams. A slightly teedious, but successful month nonetheless. I didn't get as much volume in as I'd have liked, but that's to be expected with exams and the nice weather.
According to sharkscope I played a total of 631 £5.50 Double or Nothing's - Averaging a very fair 7.2% roi.
This month was the best yet, as I finally ran good in the £11s! Up to May, I'd played over 450 games of £11 DYMs and had an ROI of just 2.5%. I felt I was running horribly at them, I was also shoving too light which the regs were snapping off. I made a couple adjustments. Judging by the results, made a huge difference. It doesn't hurt when you run like God in the vital pots either.
According to Sharkscope I played 122 £11 DYMs at an average ROI of 23.7% - Giving me an average ROI of 7.4% over 525 games. Just goes to show that variance can be just as rewarding, as it is troublesome.
Overal graph is below. I have obviously excluded the £110 tournament that I won my entry into free.
In May I also earnt 5671 poker points - valued at £102.08. Which is always a nice bonus.
--
June Goals - I'm typically not one to set Poker goals, however I will set a couple:
- 8% Average ROI in DYMs (7.5% and above counts)
- At least 6000 Poker points
- More stratergy/hand review on various forums
- Buy the 'mental game of poker' by Jared Tendler
- Crush HU SNGs/Tournaments
Non-Poker goals
- Continue to go to the gym 4-5 times a week
- Find job (lol)
--
1st June
I had my last exam this morning from 9-11. Although it feels like a relief to finish my exams, it hasn't sunk in yet. Played a couple short sessions today. But as for this evening/tonight, I'm going to celebrate the end of exams.
Actually won a £50gtd Velocity £3.30 rebuy, which was nice. Also ran seriously good over a few £5.50 DYMs. Average ROI of 94.2%, even if it is over 19 games haha.
On a sidenote, I've actually won my way into the £52.50 HU Shuffle Tournament on Saturday night from a £1 satellite. (although it took me like 7 attempts haha). I'm looking forward to this tournament, as I believe I'm strong at HU SNGs. I won a couple HU shuffle tournaments this month (I think they were both on the same day) and cashed in a few others. So wish me rungood.
I appreciate your personal input Steve, and I can't begin to contemplate how hard it must be to lose a loved one. I feel that my comments are being taken out of proportion, mainly because I'm basing this as a blog about my 'poker journey' and not as a life blog. I do not set myself cash targets, whether that be daily, weekly or even monthly. Nor do I get too disheartened about having losing days. As of now, I'm at university studying Business. As well as my studies, I play American Football. Like any student, I socialise with friends and go on frequent nights out. I previously chose to share my blog with one of my flatmates. I fully feel that I have a well balanced life, although I can understand how it may appear to be centered around poker - as this is a Poker blog. I fully intent for Poker to be a means to an end. Once again, thank you for your comments, and I'm sorry for your loss. I hope you continue to follow my progress. Best of luck at the tables. -- Patwalshh Posted by patwalshh
Hi Pat,
I'm so pleased that everything is going so well for you and you seem to have a level-headed approach. I'm made up for you. I only wanted to highlight an impression i had of you in your initial posts. I hope you don't think i was sticking my nose in where i shouldn't. It's just that when something like that happens to your family you don't want it to happen to anyone else's. So, i'm really chuffed that things are going so well.
Just got up to date with your latest thread....isn't it good to have graphs with a positive gradient?
In Response to Re: Patwalshh - My Ongoing Journey : Hi Pat, I'm so pleased that everything is going so well for you and you seem to have a level-headed approach. I'm made up for you. I only wanted to highlight an impression i had of you in your initial posts. I hope you don't think i was sticking my nose in where i shouldn't. It's just that when something like that happens to your family you don't want it to happen to anyone else's. So, i'm really chuffed that things are going so well. Just got up to date with your latest thread....isn't it good to have graphs with a positive gradient? All the best...run well... Posted by profman15
I don't think you were sticking your nose in at all. You were offering personal advice based on life experience, and that means a lot. At the end of the day I'm only 19 years old. I have so many things to learn, and ways to develop. Your comments are appreciated.
On a side note, it feels like it took an eternity for my graphs to get the way they are haha.
Great Diary Pat. I'm on the £5 DYM's 2 - My Jun target is to hit 30k C4P's, c how far I can get. Also want2go gym and eat more healthy, will need to up my discipline massively to achieve these goals! I've sent u a PM. Posted by JingleMa
30,000 cash for points is a lot! Did you make priority club last month? best of luck
nice going Pat.... "i,m so gell" lol all the hard work you have been putting in is paying off nicely, keep it going m8.
as a matter of interest, i used to walk past this jewellers shop in Exmouth quite regullarly, saw a seiko watch that i really liked the look of. had 2 go in eventually to have a look at it, price;£275 "i.ll give you £250 cash right now 4 it" i said. "i can,t do that"said the assistant, "come back tomorrow and see the owner" she said. so i did,she said yes,so that was it, bought it there and then. "not quite a rolex,but i love it".
i think your target ROI is probably too high for DYMs. im pretty sure that 3% roi is pretty good over a big sample of hands, and that 5%+ is absolutely crushing. (could be wrong dont think ive played more than 3 dym's before) glgl though
nice going Pat.... "i,m so gell" lol all the hard work you have been putting in is paying off nicely, keep it going m8. as a matter of interest, i used to walk past this jewellers shop in Exmouth quite regullarly, saw a seiko watch that i really liked the look of. had 2 go in eventually to have a look at it, price;£275 "i.ll give you £250 cash right now 4 it" i said. "i can,t do that"said the assistant, "come back tomorrow and see the owner" she said. so i did,she said yes,so that was it, bought it there and then. "not quite a rolex,but i love it". (* *) " ^ dev Posted by devonfish5
Thanks a lot devon, always a pleasure. I used to go to college in Exeter, small world ha
Nice story about the watch, maybe if I go in with £550 I can buy a Rolex for cash
Comments
I've just read your diary from start to finish and feel yhe need to warn you. When i see the phraes, "feeling like a failure" after going on tilt or not fulfilling your goals cash-wise then i worried for you. I could see that you'd have been in a depressed state at different stages of your 'journey'. Not just down but medically depressed. There were lots of signs, believe me.
You need to reassess what is important to you and introduce balance into your life. Life shouldn't be a poker grind. You need a 'bucket list' of things you want to do and achieve in your life with both short and long term goals. To be honest, your daily life seemed rather sad and disjointed at first with every day being exactly the same. Ask yourself..."What do i remember doing or planning for that gave me a buzz or sense of achievement away from poker. You may well be a good player but the sites are littered with the empty bank accounts of good players making poor decisions. You need a plan and a reward system for yourself. I feel that you need to look at the 'mental side of poker' and how iit affects you. Why not treat yourself to the book of the same name by Jared Tendhlar.
As a young man, you don't see how much you have to look forward to in your life. take opportunities and don't judge yourself too harshly. Confide in a trusted friend and look to get enjoyment from your life. A few extra pounds here and there doesn't provide a lifetime of happiness.
This may seem a bit hardball and i was going to explain in a private email but i've decided to tell you openly so that anyone can see. My bother Mark thought he was a failure in life. he said so in some of his writings. In his case, he was looking for God and had not thought he'd achieved that. After being diagnosed with depression he committed suicide 12 years ago. He was a wonderful person with a poor impression of himself.
So, mate, enjoy life. take the fun from it and learn from your mistakes but move onward and upward. I wish you well in your studies and your poker. just put the balance into your life.
All the best
Steve aka profman15
Very good post from you once again mate and so sorry for you for the loss of your brother.
Daz
I'm so pleased that everything is going so well for you and you seem to have a level-headed approach. I'm made up for you. I only wanted to highlight an impression i had of you in your initial posts. I hope you don't think i was sticking my nose in where i shouldn't. It's just that when something like that happens to your family you don't want it to happen to anyone else's. So, i'm really chuffed that things are going so well.
Just got up to date with your latest thread....isn't it good to have graphs with a positive gradient?
All the best...run well...
"i,m so gell" lol
all the hard work you have been putting in is paying off nicely,
keep it going m8.
as a matter of interest,
i used to walk past this jewellers shop in Exmouth quite regullarly,
saw a seiko watch that i really liked the look of.
had 2 go in eventually to have a look at it,
price;£275
"i.ll give you £250 cash right now 4 it" i said.
"i can,t do that"said the assistant,
"come back tomorrow and see the owner" she said.
so i did,she said yes,so that was it,
bought it there and then.
"not quite a rolex,but i love it".
(* *)
"
^
dev
Enjoying the diary keep it up, seems like youve had a good month.
Best of luck at the tables.
Nice story about the watch, maybe if I go in with £550 I can buy a Rolex for cash