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THE CHURCH OF DAZLER

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  • DazlerDazler Member Posts: 3,970
    edited April 2010
    In Response to Re: THE CHURCH OF DAZLER:
      excellent thread daz your a topman !
    Posted by IRISHROVER
    BLESS YOU MY SON :) you will go to poker heaven
  • DazlerDazler Member Posts: 3,970
    edited August 2011
    Have you been having a run of bad luck by so called donks or fish or maybe you are one. If so id like you to tell me all about it. Consider me your parishioner of poker and tell me your sins or if you just want to air off some of that anger that we all know puts us on tilt and dosnt help our play! come here to calm down or scream and shout about it. You will feel better and we can learn how to deal with these monsters of bad beats. Get mad and get even this is the place to chat about it no matter how  trivial. was the all in a sin let me know 0:) }:(
    BACK BY CHOICE OF MY BROTHERS AND SISTERS OF THE SKY POKER COMMUNITYPraise be the lord of the poker gods its been a year since my last confession. I have neglected my flock at sky poker and there fore am going to make every effort to listen and answer any Sins my fellow poker players have been making over the past year and im sure there are a lot of them. I want each and every one of you to think hard about what you have done to those players you have taken chips from and not even said thank you too or gg wp when you knock them out, and for every time you have called someone a donk when the little bugg ers have hit there runner runner and knocked you out (me included). Lets all look at the good runs and nuns as well as the bad and reflect upon our good nature and positive play. If you have something other than poker on your mind that you just cant live with out sharing with your dear Father Dazler then let me know and ill try to help. 
    Peace, Love and Run Well at the tablesFather Dazler :)
  • _keenberg_keenberg Member Posts: 118
    edited August 2011
    Maany good choices but i do enjoy wiining with junk - esp 23o squeeze playin few limpers call by AJ flop KK2 - Q - 9 - that type of ting ;) mwuhahahahaaaaaaaa 
  • MAXALLYMAXALLY Member Posts: 17,642
    edited August 2011



    WOW....what a thread! Nice one Dazler. This was started before my time but was good reading through it.

    Can I request some prayer though for those departed from here?

    Mickjen1 & Sky Rich.....RIP.

    I do think I should be included in your flock and by god have I sinned recently. Please can you do a sermon down Al's Bar in the Shed this Sunday as it is full of sinners who need to see the light.

    Peace.
  • DazlerDazler Member Posts: 3,970
    edited August 2011
    In Response to Re: THE CHURCH OF DAZLER:
    WOW....what a thread! Nice one Dazler. This was started before my time but was good reading through it. Can I request some prayer though for those departed from here? Mickjen1 & Sky Rich.....RIP. I do think I should be included in your flock and by god have I sinned recently. Please can you do a sermon down Al's Bar in the Shed this Sunday as it is full of sinners who need to see the light. Peace.
    Posted by MAXALLY
    Welcome to the flock MAXALLY. good idea i think we all miss certain players that are no longer with us, and up with the big guy in the sky. Mickjen1 a real sinner who has departed to the depths of poker **** maybe will learn his lesson one day ;) and to Sky Rich who was a saint and helped each and every one of us here at skypoker godbless you my son who prob goes under the name Sky Poor now :( I would also like to put a prayer out to our dear Sister Candi who kept us all amused with here loverly comments even if they were a bit naughty now and again.... And too all others that we love so much and miss with there contributions to the forum and also there cash. Can i get an ALLLLLLLINNNNNN Praise be. 0:)


  • DazlerDazler Member Posts: 3,970
    edited August 2011
    In Response to Re: THE CHURCH OF DAZLER:
    Maany good choices but i do enjoy wiining with junk - esp 23o squeeze playin few limpers call by AJ flop KK2 - Q - 9 - that type of ting ;) mwuhahahahaaaaaaaa 
    Posted by _keenberg
    Yes with hands like that you are now in the right place, i want you to do 2 wp's and an unlucky son gl at the tables today. You are evil but we shall save you 0:)
  • logdonlogdon Member Posts: 1,777
    edited August 2011
    This Thread should be in the Shed.!      By the definition of the word "Nun" I do Qualify as Hubby will verify,  having had nun for some time. lol ?  I also have a sister who's big down under in Australia.   Oops,   I mean a big sister down under in Australia. !   I also have a Brother in Scotland we don't talk about. God bless the north south divide.!      I am also very forgiving and don't blame Sky for not giving me free entry to the Sunday Primo. I have also Forgiven Hubby for chatting up the Totty while my back was turned and lastly I would donate my last three winning hands to the church funds but sadly they lost. I have 1p to spend and nothing to lend and happiness to last me all my life.    HalleLujah         
  • DazlerDazler Member Posts: 3,970
    edited August 2011
    got to 17th place in the tsp classic tonight but was called by this devil after his gut shot! There are devils out there and we have to send them back to poker ****. They may win a battle but the richeous will win the holy war. HalleLujah 

    Hand History #403562746 (23:26 16/08/2011)

    PlayerActionCardsAmountPotBalance
    Tydalwave Small blind   300.00 300.00 24668.75
    makelty Big blind   600.00 900.00 29873.00
      Your hole cards
    • Q
    • K
         
    Dazler Raise   1800.00 2700.00 6601.00
    kimpet Fold        
    Malc88 Raise   3000.00 5700.00 5376.25
    Tydalwave Fold        
    makelty Fold        
    Dazler Call   1200.00 6900.00 5401.00
    Flop
       
    • 8
    • 7
    • K
         
    Dazler All-in   5401.00 12301.00 0.00
    Malc88 All-in   5376.25 17677.25 0.00
    Dazler Unmatched bet   24.75 17652.50 24.75
    Dazler Show
    • Q
    • K
         
    Malc88 Show
    • 10
    • J
         
    Turn
       
    • Q
         
    River
       
    • 9
         
    Malc88 Win Straight to the King 17652.50   17652.50
  • DazlerDazler Member Posts: 3,970
    edited August 2011
    In Response to Re: THE CHURCH OF DAZLER:
    WOW....what a thread! Nice one Dazler. This was started before my time but was good reading through it. Can I request some prayer though for those departed from here? Mickjen1 & Sky Rich.....RIP. I do think I should be included in your flock and by god have I sinned recently. Please can you do a sermon down Al's Bar in the Shed this Sunday as it is full of sinners who need to see the light. Peace.
    Posted by MAXALLY
    i havnt been to the shed for some reason but am pleasently surprised when i found your pub. Even us Fathers of the cloth like a good bevy so i shall be popping over for a drink and some pork scratchins at somepoint :) am i alowed to open up a tab MAXALLY you know im good for it, i swear on the poker bible 0:)
  • logdonlogdon Member Posts: 1,777
    edited August 2011
    In Response to Re: THE CHURCH OF DAZLER:
    In Response to Re: THE CHURCH OF DAZLER : i havnt been to the shed for some reason but am pleasently surprised when i found your pub. Even us Fathers of the cloth like a good bevy so i shall be popping over for a drink and some pork scratchins at somepoint :) am i alowed to open up a tab MAXALLY you know im good for it, i swear on the poker bible 0:)
    Posted by Dazler
    Al he is Lucifer in disguise a fornicator of the first order he obsconded with the Church funds.  Don't give him credit.!
  • DazlerDazler Member Posts: 3,970
    edited August 2011
    In Response to Re: THE CHURCH OF DAZLER:
    In Response to Re: THE CHURCH OF DAZLER : Al he is Lucifer in disguise a fornicator of the first order he obsconded with the Church funds.  Don't give him credit.!
    Posted by logdon
    Lucifer in disguise how very dare you blasphemer. I only went off to invest the funds in vegas the mecca of poker and to return with enlightenment and give them all back to the sky poker community. Wheres the harm in that 0:)
  • MAXALLYMAXALLY Member Posts: 17,642
    edited August 2011
    In Response to Re: THE CHURCH OF DAZLER:
    In Response to Re: THE CHURCH OF DAZLER : i havnt been to the shed for some reason but am pleasently surprised when i found your pub. Even us Fathers of the cloth like a good bevy so i shall be popping over for a drink and some pork scratchins at somepoint :) am i alowed to open up a tab MAXALLY you know im good for it, i swear on the poker bible 0:)
    Posted by Dazler
    Here is the deal. You are good for a tab as long as you pay it off every 3rd Sunday in the month. In return, I would like you to have a word with those upstairs to forgive at least 75% of my sins plus have a word with them poker gods to see if I could possibly have some of my run good back.

    CHEERS!
  • DazlerDazler Member Posts: 3,970
    edited August 2011
    In Response to Re: THE CHURCH OF DAZLER:
    In Response to Re: THE CHURCH OF DAZLER : Here is the deal. You are good for a tab as long as you pay it off every 3rd Sunday in the month. In return, I would like you to have a word with those upstairs to forgive at least 75% of my sins plus have a word with them poker gods to see if I could possibly have some of my run good back. CHEERS!
    Posted by MAXALLY
    ok 3rd sunday is fine for me as i will be in for a pint after the sunday serman with my flock. as long as you make the effort to come to the church on sunday and repent the sins you have done. Ill have a word with upstairs to give you a good run but in regards to that much sinning i can only forgive 25% for the good jesture of the tab the rest im affraid is only forgiven with repentance of your bad poker amoung other things. When you do that you can bath in the holy spring of the poker jacuzzi with a couple of my nuns 0:)
  • DazlerDazler Member Posts: 3,970
    edited August 2011
    ok then all you boozers at als bar and all you other sinners i know going to Church is hard but if you come here and prey enough you might just win and run like god. PRAISE BE TO THE POKER GODS ALLAYYYYLOOOOYYAAAA


    IL0VEKITTY3360001£453.60 + 50 League PointsDazler02£263.76 + 46 League Pointstommygun1003£184.80 + 38 League Pointsgerrygurdl04£151.20 + 32 League Pointsshady96905£122.64 + 28 League PointsTashi06£100.80 + 24 League Pointsjoen07£84 + 20 League Pointsjawzindawz08£67.20 + 16 League 
  • MAXALLYMAXALLY Member Posts: 17,642
    edited August 2011



    Played from my lap top in AL's Bar last night :))

    MAXALLY03£25 + 8 Premiership League Points


    Sinners, drinkers and holy men unite!

    (nice result btw Daz. Just shocked to see a man of the cloth under a sign that says Ilovepussies)
  • 67Bhoys67Bhoys Member Posts: 2,553
    edited August 2011
    In Response to Re: THE CHURCH OF DAZLER:
    ok then all you boozers at als bar and all you other sinners i know going to Church is hard but if you come here and prey enough you might just win and run like god. PRAISE BE TO THE POKER GODS ALLAYYYYLOOOOYYAAAA IL0VEKITTY 336000 1 £453.60 + 50 League Points Dazler 0 2 £263.76 + 46 League Points tommygun10 0 3 £184.80 + 38 League Points gerrygurdl 0 4 £151.20 + 32 League Points shady969 0 5 £122.64 + 28 League Points Tashi 0 6 £100.80 + 24 League Points joen 0 7 £84 + 20 League Points jawzindawz 0 8 £67.20 + 16 League  
    Posted by Dazler
    The poker god doth move in mysterious ways, his wonders to provide for all the poor sinful folk that congregate in the Bar in the shed.

    May the spirits be kind to you.
  • DazlerDazler Member Posts: 3,970
    edited August 2011
    I love pu.ss.ies yes i have 3 Church Pussie.s that curl up by the fire while reading the poker bible on an evening, And we all strive to be in a position of 'on top' but there is no shame in someone sitting 'on top' while we look up at them and stare into poker heaven as we look down on those who sit in poker ****! I just like to stroke my pus.s.ys and hear them purrrrrr its very satisfiying and good for the soul.

    I must say last night was a rather interesting night and all the poker sinners and demons were out in force calling with all kinds of rubbish like 93off and winning not on low stakes but around the £11 mark buy ins, i hope they realise if they continue this path of sin they will be punished i for one will be on a crusade this week to send them back from hense they came and burn there soulds in the fire and brimston of poker ****. I may need to perform an eskysorsism on some it will not be tolarated not on my watch. Let that be a warning to all you poker sinners i will not tolerate such terrible play and devil luck, you may get lucky but i will get holy on your a.r.s.e eventulay.

    So i am calling all Crusaders to holy war WHOS' WITH ME. alllllll innnnnnnnnnnnn
  • Quietly1Quietly1 Member Posts: 213
    edited August 2011
    Forgive me Father Dazler for i have Sinned. . .

    ****:-       I have lusted after a main event win (12k bunty + head prizes).
    Gluttony:-   I have been Gluttonous in pot stealing with an all in raise with a 72off heads up.
    Greed:-      I have been greedy playing main and mini tournements in the hope of "douing the double"
    Sloth:-      I have become slothful by becoming a couch potato due to MTT's.
    Wrath:-      I have become wrathful by losing AKs to AA heads up and being so stubborn i would not yeild the game . . .
    Envy:-       I have and still am envious of those that FT the main events.
    Pride:-      I have been wilfully pridefull of being given the honour of railing TKPer's

    On top of the 7 deadly sins i have also sinned in the following way Father...


    I have prayed to a false god to let a member of an oposing faction win a game - see below...

    IL0VEKITTY    336000    1    £453.60 + 50 League Points
    Dazler    0    2    £263.76 + 46 League Points
    tommygun10    0    3    £184.80 + 38 League Points
    gerrygurdl    0    4    £151.20 + 32 League Points
    shady969    0    5    £122.64 + 28 League Points
    Tashi    0    6    £100.80 + 24 League Points
    joen    0    7    £84 + 20 League Points
    jawzindawz    0    8    £67.20 + 16 League


    I have worshipped "TV STARS" "wiiiiiiiiiiii Scouse_red" "tikay" in the hope it would improve my game.
    I have had 0ty thoughts brought on by 67bhoys - until i knew what a "rub down" actually was. . .
    I have slacked in cooking my husband dinner (due to playing in ME) wiiiiiiiiii pizza ftw!
    I knowingly let other players bet themselves out of the games when i knew i had them beaten!
    I used inducing bets to get other players to think i was weak when i acctually held the "nuts"
    I have check trapped players into making raises knowing i would push "All In" (praise be!)
    I have been surly to a player that was being rude to a member of TKP. . . 
    I have been presumptuous, i kept calling Trip5 sir in the belief she was male.. .Sorry Hurricaine!
    I have sought out players from TPT as i know they will bet there stacks off for flush draws. . .
    I have not shared the vision of the "Church of Dazler" with friends becuase i want your wisdom to save MY soul. . . .


    Praise Be "All In"
  • DazlerDazler Member Posts: 3,970
    edited August 2011
    Quietly i am very impressed that you have come to the Poker Church of Dazler to repent all of your sins! its a very long list indeed, the seven deadly sins can effect us all generaly not all at the same time as in your case, mine generaly are drinking, smoking, girls, cussing, poker and lazyness! but we all have our vices to overcome. Preying to false gods can be debatable as there is only one poker god and if you prey enough to him he will give you the strength to win and play well. Preying for Opposing team members is a good thing as they no not what they do and forgiveness to those who sin is a very kind hearted jesture, Scouse_red could be the devil him self in disguise and will tempt you into unpure thoughts of rubdowns! Do not fall for his charm! Tikay preaches to us all and will improve your poker so continue to listen to this prophet of poker and the path of enlightenment will be yours. Allways go looking for TPT members after flush draws and spead the good word to them as they do stray from the light on MTT's but forgive us our trespasses and those who trespass against us. The poker church is also a lot more modern now and Cross dressing avatars like TRIP5 is accepted in our church. Always spread the word of the church of Dazler with your friends and enemeys 'Quietly' and loudley and your soul will most certainly be saved. You have taken the path of righteousness and forgiveness and from this point in the name of the father the son and the holy poker spirits and a bottle of blue nun you are forgiven.

    Always remember to addmit to oneself his or her sins, you can be saved and play better! God bless you quietly and gl at the tables 0:) Allllllinnnnnnnnnn


  • TREMAYNETREMAYNE Member Posts: 432
    edited August 2011
    pomfrittes Small blind  20.00 20.00 6582.50
    melvin1958 Big blind  40.00 60.00 8275.00
      Your hole cards
    • J
    • K
         
    chubbers Call  40.00 100.00 6970.00
    taylos711 Fold     
    TREMAYNE Raise  120.00 220.00 4847.50
    BARBIE59 Fold     
    pomfrittes Fold     
    melvin1958 Call  80.00 300.00 8195.00
    chubbers Fold     
    Flop
       
    • 2
    • 10
    • K
         
    melvin1958 Bet  300.00 600.00 7895.00
    TREMAYNE Raise  975.00 1575.00 3872.50
    melvin1958 Call  675.00 2250.00 7220.00
    Turn
       
    • 4
         
    melvin1958 Check     
    TREMAYNE Bet  520.00 2770.00 3352.50
    melvin1958 Raise  2165.00 4935.00 5055.00
    TREMAYNE Call  1645.00 6580.00 1707.50
    River
       
    • J
         
    melvin1958 All-in  5055.00 11635.00 0.00
    TREMAYNE All-in  1707.50 13342.50 0.00
    melvin1958 Unmatched bet  3347.50 9995.00 3347.50
    melvin1958 Show
    • 9
    • Q
       
    TREMAYNE Show
    • J
    • K
       
    melvin1958 Win Straight to the King 9995.00  13342.50
    Forgive me as this hand tilted me so bad I unreged from the totty and let my team down in the DTD
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