It's all abit hit & miss/trial and error at the moment. It was abit too far, and I've learnt for next time.
I certainly didn't plan to grind 8 hours straight, it was kind of forced onto me by the unexpected long afternoon nap. Maybe next time I'll get ahead of the game, plan my time better, extend grinds when I feel good so as to not leave myself in a situation where its "breaking point or fail"
'Next time' is a long way away though, remember this was a 1 off. It's not 'standard'
I'm arlight today, I'm very very tired, but what's new.
Hopefully i'll see the benefits in the not so distant future. 'No pain, no gain' and all that.
I feel like my post was a bit of a disappointment now. Hours of anticipation on your part, just to see that I had said "well done".
I thought the same as Tikay when I first your post on the weekend, but after reading your explanation, it's brought a comparison to exercise to mind.
I can't really offer any meaningful advice, as I rarely play that many hands a month, and exercise even less(any tips Tikay?), but I'd avoid pushing yourself too far!
At the same time, congratulations for getting there - really good effort.
Also, please don't feel the need to tame your posts!
re: Ming he seems to stream most weekdays late evenings. You can get an email when he goes on line if you follow him here : http://www.twitch.tv/mingthemerciless93
I wasn't necessarily suggesting him as a coach, though I believe he offers discounted rates for sessions that he streams. I just find the videos of him coaching others quite useful in themselves. Also if you subscribe which is about a fiver a month with no contract you can view all his past broadcasts, which include several classes on specific strategic concepts.
Sorry if this all sounds spammy, but I was just interested in what someone else thought of him.
What I want to guard against when it comes to study is some guy basically saying how micro stakes are easy, and you just have to play abc, bet big, dont bluff etc.
v regulars I don't think that's the case at all.
We all know how to beat fish.
I want someone to show me how to beat some 16/13 Ukranian guy who gets stacked once a week when it's quads over quads.
I've just questioned wether he should be telling his student what to do in game.
He told me anyone who has a problem with it can lick his A hole as it's his stream, his rules, and he can do whatever the F he wants.
"I can't even play on F^in bovada. Why should I give a sh!!"
Well that told me!
He leaves that part out of his bio.
"coaching available for $50 per hour. Session includes lectures of pre and post flop concepts, as well as a recording full of evidence which can and should be reported to the poker site to force closure of your account and, if the site has any sort of integrity, result in a permanant ban"
Enjoying your updates Dohhh! re. earlier and the long post about counselling. As I've mentioned in my diary in the past I've suffered from depression on and off for a while. I've had 2 failed attempts at counselling (it was CBT) where I did 2 out of 6 sessions both times and then forgot to turn up 3rd session both times and just never went back. I thought it didn't help that much but then I didn't complete the course either. Keep meaning to go back but it'll take a while just to get an appointment. I'm a bit miffed that these places don't at least try to chase you up though. I mean if they'd rang after I missed my 3rd session and arranged to make another one I'd probably have completed it now.
re. beating nits: It's genuinely just not that easy. It's why I quit playing Holdem cash seriously... I'll play to get in volume and points but don't really expect to beat the game all that well. When I have played Holdem cash these days and I'm facing a table full of nits/reg's I like to open all unopened pots with a m-r with a high % of hands. My c-bet/turn/3barrel % are quite low vs these opponents too in general mostly cause I have such a wide range and them so narrow by the time we see a flop that it's burning money for you to just c-bet and barrel a ton like I used too. It's boring and not pretty and your w-r still won't be that big but it's definitely possible to beat it.
I don't see why you don't just print money at low/medium stake MTTs. That's where the idiots are these days.
Try Ginseng to increase energy levels, start with something light like ginseng tea and go to the relatively hardcore tablets if it doesn't work.
You have another gambling speciality (cricket) try and make money from that too - you obviously have a lot of transferrable skills like BRM and finding value. Set aside a modest BR and try for a 10% ROI over the winter series' - shop around for prices of course!
Hi Mr JJ, I hope you are well today,I appreciate the honesty in your posts. I hope you don't mind me giving my two pennerth.
I think Mr.K has got it spot on, i too am no expert but I have gone through testing times in my life, we are here for but a brief time on this planet and to do things which our body and mind pretty much scream at us "no more" seems to me a tad extreme.
You have started on the path of recovery and a huge congrats for that, and I can only speak for myself here so please don't take offence, the first step as they say is admitting we have a problem, I guess you have done that? I personally cannot get through the day without talking to or getting in contact with those closest to me, I have had a great deal of help from my family, may I ask who is giving you help. The mind is a very tricky little thing, one minute we are up, someone says the smallest thing, we take it the wrong way and are demoralised and it is easy for the mind to trick us into believing "Is it worth it" and slip into our old ways, I hope you have things in place which will stop this happening my good man.
For me poker is a sideline from real life and one to be enjoyed, I may be wrong but it seems you are making it so difficult to enjoy and it would be a shame for poker to be the reason you make yourself unwell.
I have tried differing therapeutic routes, the one that helped the most was one which maybe would be very difficult for your present anxiety level which involved meetings,the beauty of those was the fact that we are not alone and it wasn't only me who thought like I did. Also the spotlight wasn't on me and I could just sit and listen if I chose to.
I will leave it there, I ramble I do wish you all the best and well done once again for your abstinence..keep it up.
it'll take a while just to get an appointment.I'm a bit miffed that these places don't at least try to chase you up though. I Posted by F_Ivanovic
Morning Ivan.
The highlighted bit, unfortunately, sounds exactly like my experience.
It was around 3 months after my initial dialogue with the doctor that I got to talk to someone. And even then, I had to ring to find out what was happening, and low and behold 2 days after that phone call something happened.
As far as I knew I was just on a waiting list, how long would it have gone on for?
I also remember questioning wether it was normal for it to be so chilled out. Like am I expected to do the chasing about to try and get to see someone worth seeing?
I don't say that in the "omg they expect me to help myself how dare they???" type of tone.
Please don't read it like that as that sounds awful.
But the implications of the symptoms of the illness are a lack of energy, motivation and willingness to even get out of bed, nevermind take the initiative of making forward steps to get out of the seemingly impossible hole.
The illness is not wanting to help yourself! At least that's how I felt. It just seems abit backwards to me.
At the time I remember likening it to a patient recovering from 2 broken legs being expected to walk to the surgery for continued treatment.
I know there will be tonnes of people in the same boat, maybe not as bad. In some cases, maybe alot worse.
Alot of these people will be struggling day in day out and not know what to do about it.
My concern for them is when they do take a forward step, and ask for help from a medical professional, who proceed to refer them around different organisations for months before anything happens, what happens to the mindset then?
I have no idea how easy it is to qualify for and get a job in this kind of sector but it's something I'd definitely be interested in doing in the long term.
I can't think of many more 'potentially' rewarding jobs if it's something you're good at
Hi Mr JJ, I hope you are well today,I appreciate the honesty in your posts. I hope you don't mind me giving my two pennerth. I think Mr.K has got it spot on, i too am no expert but I have gone through testing times in my life, we are here for but a brief time on this planet and to do things which our body and mind pretty much scream at us "no more" seems to me a tad extreme. You have started on the path of recovery and a huge congrats for that, and I can only speak for myself here so please don't take offence, the first step as they say is admitting we have a problem, I guess you have done that? I personally cannot get through the day without talking to or getting in contact with those closest to me, I have had a great deal of help from my family, may I ask who is giving you help. The mind is a very tricky little thing, one minute we are up, someone says the smallest thing, we take it the wrong way and are demoralised and it is easy for the mind to trick us into believing "Is it worth it" and slip into our old ways, I hope you have things in place which will stop this happening my good man. For me poker is a sideline from real life and one to be enjoyed, I may be wrong but it seems you are making it so difficult to enjoy and it would be a shame for poker to be the reason you make yourself unwell. I have tried differing therapeutic routes, the one that helped the most was one which maybe would be very difficult for your present anxiety level which involved meetings,the beauty of those was the fact that we are not alone and it wasn't only me who thought like I did. Also the spotlight wasn't on me and I could just sit and listen if I chose to. I will leave it there, I ramble I do wish you all the best and well done once again for your abstinence..keep it up. Posted by tomgoodun
Hi Tom, I always appreciate your contributions
Couldn't agree more with the 2nd bolded part. I've asked myself many times over the last few months "is it worth it?".
Truth is my main motivation for change are the people around me. I know this goes against all the advice people give, "if you're not doing it for you, it wont work" etc, bla bla.
But it's worked so far.
So each time there is tempation to slip back into old ways (normally on a day I feel particuarly tired, and spend most of it sleeping) I just remind myself of the positive impact my attempted change is having on people around me who I care about who themselves are going through particuarly testing times recently.
Is this method/mindset sustainable? Probably not.
But if/when I start to feel better, things might change.
This is why I keep banging on about feeling overly tired all the time.
I've been to my first Yorkshire cricket and Donny football games for like 6 years recently and spent the whole time yawning and wishing I was back home in bed.
It really is pretty brutal at times, and makes things really hard to enjoy.
So yeh, often think 'what's the point?'.
There's been a very slight improvement with the tablets recently, there are less days when I'm totally zonked, but I'm still wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy below par
Just have to stick with it I guess, give them every chance to work.
PMA
As for support, believe it or not this thread is proving quite helpful.
I probably would still be putting off contacting the doctor re the tiredness if it wasn't for nudges on here, particuarly posts from yourself, Geldy and stokefc iirc.
I'm also in a 'poker group', which sounds pretty sad but the topic of conversation in there is normally anything but poker. On the rare occasions I'm feeling particuarly down on a bad day I can talk about it in there and normally get good advice/re-assurance etc.
I could do with some more **** energy though, being able to enjoy things I used to love doing wouldn't half help me out!
Which leads me on to Mr Rees' post........
Ginseg.
I've never heard of it?
A quick google and it sounds like it's worth a shot.
Ginseng Tea purchasedddd tyty sir. Using the 1 time on it helping again.
If it works I'll take your advice and play some MTT sessions, but due to the time commitments of MTTs I can't really play them at the mo. Often I plan to play for a few hours but have to quit inside 1, so MTTs are a no go for now.
You're right though, there wouldn't be any confidence issues at the micro stakes MTTs, it's a format I've played and been successful in very recently, unlike the cash games I'm battling in atm
Bit of a delicate - or indelicate - question this, but here goes.....
You talk of problems motivating yourself to do things - get out of bed, go out, whatever.
Have you ever had a real job, a proper day job? If not, have you considered getting a job?
The thing with a job is that it motivates us, gives us focus in our life, gives us a reason to get up, earns us money, & the chance to do well at that job & be successful, give us some self-esteem & pride if we do it well. Self-esteem is a good thing.
And when we have a job, poker - in our recreational time - is 10 times more fun.
Apologies if the question is inappropriate, but it's well-intended.
Bit of a delicate - or indelicate - question this, but here goes..... You talk of problems motivating yourself to do things - get out of bed, go out, whatever. Have you ever had a real job, a proper day job? If not, have you considered getting a job? The thing with a job is that it motivates us, gives us focus in our life, gives us a reason to get up, earns us money, & the chance to do well at that job & be successful, give us some self-esteem & pride if we do it well. Self-esteem is a good thing. And when we have a job, poker - in our recreational time - is 10 times more fun. Apologies if the question is inappropriate, but it's well-intended. Posted by Tikay10
I had a couple of part time jobs during university, working in a warehouse on a weekend and at Donny racecourse each time there was a race meeting.
But since uni, nothing.
The problem was I was making too much easy money on here to bother with a job immediately, (I've confessed many times, and will again, a very very poor decision on my part) and then I slipped into bad ways which I've previously mentioned and it's led to where I am now.
It's a short/mid term goal, it's not possible at the moment. People will assume lazyness/BS etc and that's fine, but it really isn't an option right now.
I did 2 x 8hr days in a row playing online pokerz in my bedroom and the response on hear was overwhelmingly negative, multiple people teling me I'm pushing myself way too hard.
A job right now would be 100x harder.
I have to do everything really slowly (unfortuantely).
There's nowt more frustrating than having to hold myself back, expecially when there's a good chance that tomorrow will be a 'bad day', but thems the rules.
Accept all that, & no, I'm was abso not suggesting laziness or whatever.
However, I don't actually think you can equate the negativity that arose from the 8 hour poker sessions (neck twitching, muscle spasms, eyes watering etc) to a day job though.
8 hour poker sessions are hugely intensive, really hard mentally, requiring maximum, unbroken, intensive concentration, staring at a screen, unable to take a break, for 8 hours. Regular day jobs are nothing like as intensive. Personally, I don't believe for one moment that a day job would be 10 times harder - quite the opposite.
That said, I take on board your particular problems, yeah.
I forgot to add actually that if you did progress to Ginseng tablets/capsules (which are much more potent) it's worth getting an "extended release" version to ret@rd absorption. That should help to avoid the ups and downs associated with stimulants.
At the time I remember likening it to a patient recovering from 2 broken legs being expected to walk to the surgery for continued treatment. Posted by DOHHHHHHH
Great analogy for it. Agree with everything you said in reply!
re. Getting a job: I've not had a job since Uni either which is over 2 years ago for me and I was thinking of getting one recently after I had a bad day at poker and being down the following day - then came along the Punta Cana promotion and I was like: well I can't get one now! It's actually been really good for me when I have to get out of bed for something. A full time job obviously wouldn't suit you now, but what apart trying to find voluntary work even for a couple hours a day? Or if you could find a part time job again where your not doing any more than 4 hours and a maximum of 10 per week?
I was thinking about what I wrote and then found I actually disagreed with it. For those that didn't read it, I was just basically saying red meat should be consumed rarely, but poultry is ok to eat more often. I remember a lecture I went to which basically ripped apart this piece of misinformation and I actually managed to forget that I changed my mind on the issue generally speaking, both red meats and poultry are ok to be eaten but both should be in moderation, like most things. What's important to note is where you're getting your meat from - the quality of your meat actually plays an important factor. A cut from your local butcher is likely to be completely fine, whereas one from a typical supermarket is likely to have been corn fed and from corn feeding comes two problems - antibiotics and hormones. This is all very true and I'm sure it's what you saw on the documentary - from what I can recall, cows are supposed to heve a strict diet of grass (thank god I'm human), and when they are forced to eat something else, they become sick. The only thing for the farmers to do at this point is to stuff them with antibiotics to avoid the other cows getting infected. so, if you can afford it, consider shopping at a more high quality supermarket or if you live near one, go to the butchers
So, there are actually many valid ethical arguments to consider when thinking about veggie. perhaps one of the most apparent is the one we've been discussing - farm animals are treated badly - but there are also other reasons. for example, producing a KG of meat requires FAR more land, water, fertilisers and other inputs than necessary for producing an equivalent amount of veggies! The benefits of avoiding meat consumption here are obvious...
there's also some other argument but I've forgotten it
Comments
I'm arlight today, I'm very very tired, but what's new.
He leaves that part out of his bio.
Bit of a delicate - or indelicate - question this, but here goes.....
You talk of problems motivating yourself to do things - get out of bed, go out, whatever.
Have you ever had a real job, a proper day job? If not, have you considered getting a job?
The thing with a job is that it motivates us, gives us focus in our life, gives us a reason to get up, earns us money, & the chance to do well at that job & be successful, give us some self-esteem & pride if we do it well. Self-esteem is a good thing.
And when we have a job, poker - in our recreational time - is 10 times more fun.
Apologies if the question is inappropriate, but it's well-intended.
Accept all that, & no, I'm was abso not suggesting laziness or whatever.
However, I don't actually think you can equate the negativity that arose from the 8 hour poker sessions (neck twitching, muscle spasms, eyes watering etc) to a day job though.
8 hour poker sessions are hugely intensive, really hard mentally, requiring maximum, unbroken, intensive concentration, staring at a screen, unable to take a break, for 8 hours. Regular day jobs are nothing like as intensive. Personally, I don't believe for one moment that a day job would be 10 times harder - quite the opposite.
That said, I take on board your particular problems, yeah.
I was thinking about what I wrote and then found I actually disagreed with it. For those that didn't read it, I was just basically saying red meat should be consumed rarely, but poultry is ok to eat more often. I remember a lecture I went to which basically ripped apart this piece of misinformation and I actually managed to forget that I changed my mind on the issue
So, there are actually many valid ethical arguments to consider when thinking about veggie. perhaps one of the most apparent is the one we've been discussing - farm animals are treated badly - but there are also other reasons. for example, producing a KG of meat requires FAR more land, water, fertilisers and other inputs than necessary for producing an equivalent amount of veggies! The benefits of avoiding meat consumption here are obvious...
there's also some other argument but I've forgotten it